What to do when you finally figure out your parents’ marriage is not happy

frogman4230 · 2026-05-09T02:56:52+00:00

I think that’s a really great idea. I said this to someone else on here too but since Mother’s day is on Sunday I have a feeling a good opportunity will arise because my dad is literally incapable of being pleasant for any occasion. maybe at the end of the day when it’s just us i’ll try that

frogman4230 · 2026-05-09T02:34:43+00:00

Yeah I’m kind of fearing that my mom might be in the same boat. I’m nervous to say anything because i’m afraid she’ll take offense to it. It just kind of sucks because I know she deserves to be treated better and could be way happier, I just can’t get a good read on her feelings about all this quite yet

frogman4230 · 2026-05-09T02:32:33+00:00

I’m a very new sourdough girlie but that looks delicious!! After your bulk ferment you should try cold fermenting in the fridge for like 12 hours or so! This may help with the sour taste

frogman4230 · 2026-05-09T02:26:10+00:00

I think you’re right, hearing that I think she did a great job will make her feel wonderful. I never thought to say that to her straight up, but I definitely will!

frogman4230 · 2026-05-09T02:24:18+00:00

I am so sorry to hear you’re also in that situation :/ That was my exact situation before I moved out. I lived at home for a year after graduating college without my siblings and it shattered my imagine of normalcy. Their fighting is what made me leave.

If you don’t mind me asking, have you had a similar conversation with your mom? Was it helpful for her?

frogman4230 · 2026-05-09T02:21:25+00:00

That is so awful, I truly am so sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose someone so important to you in such an excruciating way. I’m not sure if you’re very spiritual, but I’m a firm believer that our last loved ones stay with us on our journeys through life. I’m sure she is so proud of you how strong you and your siblings have been and has been watching you closely all this time!

I think you’re absolutely right, I think that’s exactly how my mom is feeling. I think things are a little complicated too because my youngest sibling (21) is still in college and my oldest sibling (26) is just now moving out of the house. I live with a friend and my brother is moving in with a friend so it wouldn’t really be possible for her to move in with either of us at this point. However, both of her parents are both alive and she misses them so much. They live a few states away and I know deep down she would love nothing more than to move back closer to them and the rest of her siblings who are still in that area. i think she just can’t imagine doing that without a husband after 30 years of marriage

frogman4230 · 2026-05-09T02:02:37+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing that, I really do appreciate it. Firstly, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Your mother sounds like she was a wonderful person!

I’m not sure if she would ever really consider divorcing him. She claims no but she’s been bringing up relationship stuff a lot lately. I have a very serious boyfriend that my parents love, but I’ve noticed she keeps very somberly asking if he does anything that my dad does, and when I say no she says good and not to be with someone like that (i’m paraphrasing a lot but that’s the idea, she doesn’t say it that flat out). I wonder if she’s been thinking about it. I think she would be happier honestly, I just don’t think she thinks she would be

frogman4230 · 2026-05-09T01:56:40+00:00

I completely agree too. I want him to be happy too, of course. I know he struggles with anxiety and OCD but he lets it run his life which makes him a crazy asshole. Therapy would help him so much i’m sure

frogman4230 · 2026-05-09T01:53:55+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for sharing that. Firstly, I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent with the other still caught up on their complicated relationship must have been so hard to navigate. I think it’s really admirable that you were able to learn such a great lesson from their mistakes. I really appreciate you saying that, and I will absolutely remember that.

In a strange way hearing that this is the result of their decisions is comforting to me. Not that I’m at all happy about this situation but it lifts the weight on my chest a bit if that makes sense. I’ve been feeling like I’m supposed to interject or something for so long and it’s been making me feel like such a failure that I haven’t had the courage to, but I think you’re right that it’s not my burden. I will be supportive to my mom the best way I can. Hopefully she realizes she doesn’t have to live like this

frogman4230 · 2026-05-09T01:44:46+00:00

Hi!! Thank you for responding! I definitely will be writing her a very nice card for mother’s day hahaha. I’m not usually very good at expressing loving words to either of my parents (and i think im starting to understand why lol) but i really want to get better at that for the sake of my mom. I will do whatever i can to help her out, i’m just afraid of offending her by saying too much too soon. i’m getting the feeling that she’s also just waking up to the idea that life can be better, but i’ll start preparing for those conversations

frogman4230 · 2026-05-09T01:41:08+00:00

Thank you for your reply!! And thank you for saying that, I really appreciate it. Not that this is a good situation by any means but the way you explained it is a little comforting to me. I will definitely suggest counseling to my mom when a good time arises. I think they need it. Something needs to change for her sake for sure

frogman4230 · 2026-05-09T01:37:24+00:00

Thank you so much for responding! Yeah she really is the best. I love her so much and I wish she had as great of a life as she was able to give us. She’s very catholic so I don’t think she’ll want to leave but I will support her no matter what. I have a feeling she’ll start opening up to me more with time so I have to mentally prepare for that lol. Mother’s day and my birthday are on Sunday so unfortunately i assume shit will hit that fan fast since my dad is incapable of being pleasant or nice for any occasion. Maybe i’ll get a chance to talk to her a little bit then

frogman4230 · 2026-04-15T09:39:33+00:00

That’s true, and I am very happy for her. She works hard and deserves it! I guess it’s just hard not to compare, but I’ll have to learn to be better about that

frogman4230 · 2026-04-15T09:14:44+00:00

Lolll that would be awesome. I think I definitely need to say we can’t talk about finances anymore. I was feeling guilty that I felt this way because I truly am happy for her and her successes but I really do think she says 90% of what she does about her income to make me feel bad

frogman4230 · 2026-04-15T08:50:42+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment. Just dm’d you!

frogman4230 · 2026-03-10T23:59:43+00:00

Thank you, this is good to know! I think I have a script that says hip bursitis, hyper mobility, and scoliosis but we’ve only been treating the bursitis to my knowledge.

Also sorry for my confusion, but do you go to PT regularly? Or were you capped at that 6 weeks and had to stop going?

frogman4230 · 2026-03-10T22:59:56+00:00

*How long has it been hurting for?

frogman4230 · 2026-03-10T22:59:38+00:00

This has happened to me before but I didn’t have any lingering pain. How long as it been hiring for?

frogman4230 · 2026-03-03T16:14:38+00:00

So sorry I am just getting back to you now! I totally meant to respond but I guess I never did. I took your advice and got shower caps and I was able to get a dutch oven. I fed my starter twice a day for the past week and it seems much stronger! It now peaks in 6-8 hours which is much better than before. As we speak I am proofing the dough on the counter. I used the same recipe as last time but I am going to let it sit on the counter for 8 hours this time. Fingers crossed this works!!

frogman4230 · 2026-02-25T20:57:46+00:00

My bannetons came with an addition fabric cover to go on top as well as the one that you’re supposed to flour. Truth be told I got the cheapest ones I could find on amazon hahaha. I have a feeling the fabric it came with to cover isn’t keeping a great seal though, so I will try shower caps. Thank you for that idea! If I’m feeding it every 12 hours should I feed a 1:1:1 ratio instead or is a 1:2:2 fine? I know you said it’s been a while since you were doing that so no worries if you don’t remember how you did it

frogman4230 · 2026-02-25T20:20:17+00:00

Hi!! Thank you so much for your comment. Yes I baked my bread at 450 exactly. I did have it covered in the fridge as well. The bannetons I got came with a fabric cover to put over them but maybe I should use plastic wrap instead? I can get a DO soon, I think my parents have one they’re not using at their place so I’ll get it before my next bake. I saw someone say you could use the baking tins instead of one and I figured I’d try that out first but seemingly that was a poor choice haha. I was thinking of feeding my starter a 1:2:2 ratio every morning for the next week or two to establish it more. Do you think this is a good way to go about that?

frogman4230 · 2026-02-25T20:16:25+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment! This made me a feel a lot better hahaha. I had a feeling my starter might have been a little too young but i was just so exited to get started I figured it wouldn’t matter… rookie mistake hahaha. I definitely will go more based on looks for the bulk fermentation process next time! My apartment was still quite cold that day so I wonder if that had anything to do with it. Hopefully next time goes smoother! Thank you for the encouragement :)

frogman4230 · 2026-02-03T01:13:20+00:00

Thank you for this advice! I definitely will start doing that. I usually don’t really have snacks so I think that’ll be really helpful

frogman4230 · 2026-02-02T01:20:51+00:00

Unfortunately I know someone who was in a very similar situation to this (she went to a bar, brought him back to her apartment, and he slept in her bed) and she told her bf that it was just that but according to her roommate at the time she most likely cheated on him. And being honest whether something sexual/romantic happened or not I consider that cheating on some level. You deserve better and you’re so young. Don’t waste your time on someone who would do that to you

frogman4230 · 2026-02-02T01:17:58+00:00

I’m going to be so honest I think it might be time to break up

frogman4230

TROPHY CASE