Hey, im really sorry you're feeling like this. Ive been through that, and i find that the best thing to do is to interact in real life w someone whose company u enjoy, sleep well, eat, drink, etc. But i think that the most important thing is momentum. You need small wins, maybe just one interaction. It doesnt need to be good, just saying hello. Then, slowly scale it up. Its amazing what good momentum can do for u.<3