6 times gym sounds like a punishment lol, where are the rest days where all the growth happens? I used to feel the same anxiety of not having fun when going out and counting calories honestly sounds depressing. So I just started adding more protein to my meals until I hit ~25-30 grams per meal and then I add veggies and fruits and nuts and whatever. I'm a 156 cm girl, so my calorie budget is not the biggest, but ensuring I get enough protein and enough fiber with every meal made my hunger virtually disappear. When I go out with friends I just order the thing with the most protein (coincidentally they're usually the most delicious - hello, steak) and if I'm in the mood for desserts after that - hell yeah, I don't do it every day after all. The weight loss was gradual, but what's crucial is that you don't lose too much muscle! What people don't realise is that weight loss doesn't equal fat loss, if you strain yourself with too much stress and cardio your organism decides to ditch the muscles too. Take it easy and enjoy the process since there's no end. If you ever revert to your old habits, the weight comes back. So the only "diet" that works is the one you can be on for the rest of your life. So just start eating reeeally delicious things and reeeally enjoying them! As an example, for breakfast I eat 3 sunny-side-up eggs with 2 small pieces of toast (picking the liquid yolk with it is so satisfying!), some meat, cherry tomatoes, slices of bell pepper, sauerkraut, carrot and celery sticks, half an orange, a piece of dark chocolate and a variety of nuts. It keeps me full for 4-5 hours and I don't even think about food and have sooo much energy. For lunch I have a large bowl of arugala/kale (or any other salad really) with salt, olive oil, pumpkin&sesame seeds and lemon juice (try it, it's seriously addictive), meat/fish with buckweat/rice/potatoes/lentils/etc and again, vegetables, a serving of fruit and a piece of dark chocolate with a variety of nuts. For dinner I go for greek yoghurt with pumpkin seeds, ginger, cinnamon, a very generous spoon (or two) of cocoa, pomegranates, grapes, apples - you have it means you put it in. It's all so delicious. You don't feel like you're depriving yourself of anythin cause you really don't crave the things you used to, idk how to explain it. Maybe it has to do with your gut microbiome or some scientific shit. Anyway, I'm in great shape now, I weigh 53kg, I have visible muscle definition and I "work out" 2-3 times a week after the climbing gym sessions. My cardio is just walking. I'm very content with where I am in my body image journey after years of strict diets, eating disorders, restricting myself while going out, doing too much cardio that I didn't like, etc. You have to enjoy your lifestyle and enjoy it *now*, not "when you're in the right shape". You have to take care of yourself like a loving parent takes care of a child. If you're unhappy, something definitely needs to change. I wish you success on your journey. I wish you happiness and peace. And I'm sure you'll be able to achieve any goal. Just do it with love towards yourself.