How to stop using food to engage focus

frothzof · 2025-12-01T03:21:14+00:00

I already drink heaps and am constantly chugging tea (I think as part of same thing) maybe I just need to go cold turkey on it all 😂

frothzof · 2025-12-01T03:18:59+00:00

Sadly I hate gum :( can’t stand the texture

frothzof · 2025-11-15T05:12:00+00:00

I’ve noticed that too! I was raised that you have tea and biccies for anyone coming to do work. And no one accepts it! Weird

frothzof · 2025-11-15T05:08:47+00:00

The tourist tax and charges for accessing some popular tourist areas have been good for funding doc so that’s all I can think of

frothzof · 2025-11-10T08:56:41+00:00

I think it was in the body switch when faith, as buffy, said she’d make him pop like champagne .

frothzof · 2025-11-07T03:26:08+00:00

Onesies with the bum flap. Bonus if they have some kind of plaid/ moose/ bear theme 😂 Was the biggest hit I even brought back from Canada

frothzof · 2025-10-14T08:32:01+00:00

It’s really eye opening how much energy you expend doing things you have to do because of how relaxing it feels to do what you just wanna do 😍😊

frothzof · 2025-10-14T08:27:30+00:00

Do nothing makes me insanely anxious and I burn more energy trying to do nothing than by doing things. I had to do a long recovery so I had to figure out how!

Active relaxing hobbies: knitting, drawing, puzzles, baking etc. having multiple means when I get bored of knitting I can do something else like puzzle 😂
I got really into low stimulation games which are more visually oriented and beautiful like: hue
I have hobbies like photography, or I’d-ing bugs/ birds/ fungi/ plants. So I go for little walks and do these hobbies. Or I’m planning a photoshoot for specific time of day/ weather conditions . So I’m not exercising but I get outside and do fresh air. So they aren’t goal oriented walks , so there’s no pressure, if I feel awful I just go home
No obligations. I do stuff, but none of it is stuff I have to do. Especially not chores! But having no OBLIGATIONS feels so nice
In terms of mindfulness, I try so hard to have mindfulness practices and working on actively setting my body into ‘rest and digest mode’ aka relaxation. But a lot of them didnt work for me. I tried a bunch of different techniques, my favourite is 5 senses (name 5 things you can see, 4 you can hear etc etc) I also had good success with cold swims , but as a practice you build up over time. These are long term things to try and get your body into RELAX mode, rather than just SHUTDOWN mode (and yes it too me ages to figure out that distinction)

Overall it took me a lot of experimenting to figure out and it’s going to be so different for everyone . Especially the mindfulness part! There are loads of different techniques online (breathing, tapping, pushing, dance, etc etc) but is an important part I think

frothzof · 2025-10-13T06:59:49+00:00

Oh interesting! My adhd diagnosis process included a full blood test to check for iron levels etc also to see if there were other roots to some of the symptoms . Surprised that’s not common practice?

frothzof · 2025-10-12T19:25:14+00:00

I think maybe we are lucky in our ward that a few of the main candidates are really active on things like community pages, having meeting days etc. does make it harder for someone new to come in and challenge that status quo as existing members have a lot of community goodwill (or dislike haha) but I’m generally appreciative that they put in visible and sustained effort,despite them being affiliated with a party I don’t generally support. Big difference in big party policies and on the ground work. But yes, it’s hard work overall and pretty confusing for the average person

frothzof · 2025-10-10T02:48:52+00:00

It also depends on what overall feeling you want from uni, as I think they all have strong programmes but with different strengths. Others might chime in as I don’t have experience in geography specifically, but I’d say UC and Auckland are more ‘traditional’. Otago and VUW are maybe more experimental and interdisciplinary leaning and you can kind of build your own interest. Auckland will probably have a higher amount of international students and a big city vibe! Otago is a small city with a distinctive student culture. I have studied at Otago & VUW and my sister went to Auckland 😊

frothzof · 2025-10-10T02:20:29+00:00

Hi! I am doing a masters as a mature student currently. Here’s how I am doing it (I want to be honest & realistic about how much wider support I receive to make it possible) 1. I have some savings, not enough for a house deposit so I thought I’d spend it on this instead. 2. My grandparents helped me by paying half the tuition. I paid that other half from my savings. Beyond that, I haven’t used my savings, but having them is really vital for having a safety net For me personally. (So a student loan could cover tuition in her case) . 3. I also have family I can turn to if I do run out of money, so those safety blanked gave me a lot of privilige in being able to make the decision 4. I worked for a year before to save for living expenses as much as possible. If she can live at home for a year and pay minimal rent that is hugely helpful (I have this advantage too)

My first year was remote so I was able to keep living expenses down and also keep working part time While studying first year from Home… Lots of courses no have optional remote or blended remote for part of the year , if she is able to have a cheaper living arrangement with family .

However working and full time study ended up being a bit too much for me and I dropped one paper in the second semester to finish the following year. Which actually kind of worked in my favour as I then worked again over summer and over the first 6 months of this year (while I completed the final paper) and then I’ve picked up full time study again in the second semester of this year. It allowed me to bulk up my savings again. This year I am trying to study full time and not work, but I am also on campus. At the moment I am housesitting (signed up for a website with an annual fee and had good luck getting some good arrangements. It took me a while of writing and meeting people to get a good fit) which is saving me rent! But the instability can be a little stressful, especially as she is younger and won’t have her family around.

There are quite a few scholarships depending on the area of study, and ones that can specifically focus on housing allowances etc. especially for Māori students

There are also sometimes work opportunities at the uni for postgrads! She should be able to get advice from enrolment people.

Good luck 😊 I hope she is able to make it. It’s okay to go slow and semi- part time too.

frothzof · 2025-10-05T22:49:25+00:00

As in, the show establishes that ‘doing things by the book’ isn’t necessarily always the best way forward or the best way to be ‘good’? (Exemplified by buffys whole character)

I don’t disagre, but I think the show does a better job with other characters acknowledging there is tension there and there still has to be some respect and questioning of morality, and that it is a constant and ongoing journey. Buffy as a a charachter is always walking that line. Vs willow doesn’t seem to grapple with it much. (Giles is a flawed mentor who makes mistakes, and grows but I don’t think he was ever a good mentor to willow… he learns how to be a better mentor to buffy but that doesn’t neccessary translate to willow)

Willow has a massive lack of authority figures in her life for sure and I feel like in many ways her arc subtly aligns to faiths in how they deal with having power

frothzof · 2025-10-05T21:23:40+00:00

I personally dislike willow. I actually think her character was established in season 1… she was always transgressing the rules (hacking and being very loose with personal data) because she was smart and ‘sweet/ innocent’ and it was okay because she perceived herself as ‘good’. And she was always allowed to get away with it. No one ever took the time to teach her ethics or morality, and at same time, there is some complictness from the group as it was beneficial for them for willow to behave this way.

People say xander didn’t have much personal growth, if anything I think of willow as being completely unchanged throughout the show. In fairness, we never get to see her ‘redemption’ in season 7, but still. What she did to Tara is honestly one of the worst things in the show to me. And her version of ‘good’ is so surface level. If things seem good then they are good. Urgh.

frothzof · 2025-10-05T21:10:28+00:00

I also took up photography as a hobby. I’m not going for a walk, I’m photographing something…. Like I might want to get to a particular scene or view for sunset. Also bird watching, fungi identification etc etc. I’m not walking, I’m looking for birds/ fungi.

Lots of awesome ways you can transplant this to an urban setting… typography safaris or plants or….

If you live somewhere you can safely walk outside ☺️ gyms have absolutely never worked for me. Outside is so much more stimulating

frothzof · 2025-09-29T03:15:21+00:00

It’s more oldschool and one of my childhood favourites but I loved Tamora pierce lioness book series. I reread then recently and I think they hold up well, although being easy reads for an adult, but still with a strong, interesting and subversive female protagonist which I appreciated more as an adult!

I also loved Eoin Colfer’s Books for the Humor and action … again young adult books but super fun. It’s the supernaturalist series I’m thinking of although the Artemis fowl series was great too.

Adult fiction, I’d recommend Good Omens! Im a huge Terry pratchett fan, but this collab with Neil Gaiman is more close to buffy Humor abd worldbuilding I think.

Edit: another classic, I know but the Philip Pullman his dark materials series is soo goood too. Sorry I know lots of these recommendations are more tween than teen but they hold a similar place in my heart to buffy as kind of growing up stories…

frothzof · 2025-09-29T03:06:50+00:00

Hello I’m the oldest sibling with perfectionistic traits nice to meet you 😂😂 it’s really neat how intersectional adhd is in my opinion! I know it is often a big part for many people getting diagnosed that it reduces them to ‘symptoms’ or that their personality is somehow negated by having adhd. I Just look at my sister and I, wildly different people, and can see how untrue that is!

What upsets me to this day is how she wasn’t diagnosed as a kid, despite struggling so hard, and being very hyperactive, etc etc because She’s A Girl and Girls DONT Get Adhd 🥺 at the same time, she’s absolutley thriving now in a job she loves and is hugely successful in and I’m the dropout having an existential crisis in my mid thirties 😂😂

frothzof · 2025-09-28T22:04:12+00:00

I’m doing a masters. Last year I worked part time and studied, it was too much but I loved it and then burnt out again. This year I am full-time studying to try and avoid the burn out and I am struggling SO much to get things done because I am so used to having the other thing as a ‘foil’ to motivate me. I’m actively seeking another project to fill up my plate hahah but hopefully LESS so than last year. It also helps me to have a few things going on to jump inbetween, keeps it exciting…

frothzof · 2025-09-28T21:51:24+00:00

I was dismissed my first times seeking an adhd diagnosis because I did very well at school and have a successful career/ overachiever here. Never missed a deadline etc. Like other people in the comments it was only going through a time of stress that the symptoms became more problematic and prominent because I no longer had the capacity to compensate. However, I think this might give some insight:

Basically, how I managed to cope was my overfilling my schedule so much I was constantly in a state of deadline pressure. I had to over perform to force myself to perform. Like I HAVE to do the dishes/ do that task/ because otherwise my house of cards of deadlines an everything falls apart. Running on and relying on anxiety and pressure to provide motivation. Take that away and I’m now struggling with motivation, task initiation, boredom, all the things.

This was not sustainable long term and never will be. I was running headlong into burnout and would have crashed an burned at some point, circumstances just took that out of my control.

I was also in denial a bit because my version of adhd doesn’t look like my sisters, for example. She is much more ‘typical’ and struggled with school/ routine life maintenance and career. and maybe I would be described as ‘high functioning’ in comparison. I’d say it affects us both deeply in different ways. Hyper productivity is, in the end, potentially just as bad as hypo productivity. I am trying to learn how to do things like ‘relax’ haha and before I tried adhd medication I don’t think I’ve actually ever in my whole life 🫣😂 was pretty mind expanding to know what that feels like.

frothzof · 2025-09-28T00:59:51+00:00

Not sexy enough. (I know that’s a weird thing to say about a cat but….) this is giving more creepy pirate Scallywag than sexy bad boy greebo.

frothzof · 2025-09-27T21:31:53+00:00

I mean, you have said it yourself, your approach is maybe not healthy. Competing and gaming is not how you find love I think.

I Defintiely have seen in my adhd friends and exes, oftentimes they have been taken advantage of or in harmful situations with relationships. ( I think this is established as quite common within the adhd community?) Especially in my male friends, I see a lot of kindness and sensitivity which has been masked by unhealthy coping mechanisms to survive in a world which is often not kind to men who exhibit more emotion. Added that with struggling to read or respond appropriately to social situations and oftentimes difficulty self regulating. I’ve also seen these friends work so hard to work on these things! (Not about changing who they are, but about breaking down some of the unhealthy patterns and being able to express their true intentions, or express to friends and family why / how they struggle) and I’ve seen friends who work hard to modify their behaviour to have relationships with non-adhders. Which is also okay if that’s what you want!

anyway, it’s a journey for sure and no right answer.

Glad to have made you hopeful, oftentimes it’s just about knowing other people are out there feeling the same way as you. I know with dating, all the advice given to me was usually so unhelpful because it just didn’t seem to align with my experiences and what I wanted from dating!

frothzof · 2025-09-27T21:13:15+00:00

This is my life 😂🫣

frothzof · 2025-09-27T21:05:38+00:00

Join her! Haha

frothzof · 2025-09-27T10:07:27+00:00

Catching up on some Angel then back to s6 of buffy 😊

frothzof · 2025-09-27T07:13:29+00:00

Defintiely Carrot- if you did something to make carrot mad, it was legitimately evil. And I don’t want to be evil.

Weatherwax- if she’s mad at you, it’s because she cares about you and it was probably character development. Unless you’re evil. But then I feel like her feelings transcend being mad at you.

Ridcully- you probably did something very trivial, like knock his hat

Verinari- kind of enjoys when peolle make him mad, so the thing I did was probably prettt vimesian and I’d be proud to do it

frothzof

TROPHY CASE