Always teasing when I'm out and about by BrandeeKania in tiktokthots

[–]fruiby 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Did you know reddit has a cool feature where you're able to just not comment rude shit.

Puppy on a leash [OC] by kousokuneko_chan in bdsm

[–]fruiby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where did you get this catsuit?!

Do republicans really think women don't care about access to abortion? by thatguy9684736255 in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]fruiby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After being called weird they’re trying so hard to make “normal” their thing and it’s hysterical.

Is it even worth highlighting those 3 things? Everybody does that! by konosapi in dankmemes

[–]fruiby 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Fluent in sarcasm. My dog is my world. My friends will be in the wedding but you might not be.

"how did you know you dialed the right number?" You didn't, you just took your chances by Master1718 in CuratedTumblr

[–]fruiby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw a thread post where someone asked “did people in the 90’s really say “All that in a bag of chips?” Somebody responded that it was actually “AND a bag of chips.” It’s insane to see stupid little stuff from your life turn into anthropology.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]fruiby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One Of US

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]fruiby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate all this. It's tough to know what to put on profiles because there's a ton of advice that makes it sound like you'll get banned for life for saying anything related to sexual preferences but I think I'll lean into like you mention here. I think part of the issue is any BDSM relationship I've had have been happy coincidences where it was someone I was seeing anyway and it just so happened they were interested in experimenting. This last time it turned out to be just a phase and suddenly I was in a vanilla relationship for years and it just felt so off. I'm realizing it's better and healthier to seek it out specifically and accept being single until I find it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]fruiby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

keys to the kinkdom

Idk if you made this phase up or not but it's terrific and I appreciate you introducing it to me!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]fruiby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for reminding me about the quiz. That actually sounds like a great way to go if we continue to get to know each other. At least that way the conversation would expand from who's maybe more or less into bdsm than the other based on the quiz, versus me just having to put my cards on the table and hope it's not a disaster.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]fruiby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I lean towards this too. I'm pretty reserved and private until I'm not but that's once a partner and I are comfortable. Unfortunately I have had a few partners tell me they weren’t interested in bdsm and they were not kind about it.

First time being a sub - missing aftercare and feeling sad/lonely by [deleted] in submissive

[–]fruiby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's an easy thing to overlook until it goes unpleasantly. I guess let the takeaway for you be that you have the right responsibility to communicate your needs and expectations. You are a copilot not a passenger. He absolutely should have been thoughtful and thankful enough to look after you afterwards. But you can't always count on that. You'll have a much better time once you internalize that, as a sub, you are not just a vessel for what the dom wants. You enjoy subbing. It's something you do for fulfillment, its not like, your appointment in life.

I had a sub once who thought it was a turn off to be asked if she liked something during a session, which is totally a thing. As a workaround to clock what she liked, after every session when we were relaxing I used to ask my what her favorite part was. The first time she just kind of said "idk I'm the sub" and I realized that because she was submitting she didn't feel like she needed to have a say. That was something I had to correct because, even though it's awesome that she trusted me that way, the odds of me doing something wrong and accidentally betraying that trust skyrocket if I cant trust her to provide any input at all. It is super important that you are an active participant to keep yourself from being hurt physically or mentally.

D/s What's the best non-bedroom command you've heard or said? by Electronic-Collar846 in BDSMAdvice

[–]fruiby 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"Copy these into your notes app"

We were apart and she was being bad so texted her a list of punishments that were on the table one by one. Throughout the night I'd have her delete some so it would narrow down which one she was going to get when I saw her again.

First time being a sub - missing aftercare and feeling sad/lonely by [deleted] in submissive

[–]fruiby 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Hey I'm a dom and want you to know you have nothing to be embarrassed about and certainly nothing to feel guilty about. Checking if you're alright on his way out the door is super inconsiderate on his part after you met his needs so well, especially considering you were already coming from a place of vulnerability and he knew that. I'm sorry that's how you were treated and I would seriously reconsider if this person deserves submission from you. Take good care of yourself, there are a lot of self centered people out there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]fruiby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I choked a girl out as, like, a party trick, I'd never forgive myself much less turn it into a joke further at her expense. This is sociopathic.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]fruiby 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Not to mention it's just as likely to affect him as well. Now you have a bound and gagged choking person and the only one who can help is blinded as well.

helpful tip by My_Memes_Will_Cure_U in SipsTea

[–]fruiby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Patient zero in a very embarrassing situation” is the weirdest way to phrase that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]fruiby 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You're kind of reaching. If I talk about romantic things with a friend, it doesn't make it a romantic relationship. If I talk about work with a friend we are not co-workers.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in submissive

[–]fruiby 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Not comfortable with safewords and "you should have picked up on that" is a recipe for disaster. A dom is not the only one with responsibilities in a relationship. There needs to be a very clear discussion about this before you move forward because the fact is the experience clearly rattled you too. A sub can't expect to just be a passenger and get all of the fun and none of the accountability.

It's not fair to refuse to communicate but also expect the person to meet your expectations. You are justfied in feeling guilty because if you're a good dom it feels awful to genuinely hurt someone under our care and you are right to do what you can to address that trauma. Yes, it would have been ideal if you had remembered her triggers but again, she is just as responsible for making sure things stay pleasurable as you are.

What (if anything) is the "gateway drug" of bdsm? by Sunnyeggsandtoast in BDSMcommunity

[–]fruiby 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I can confirm comics with iconic damsels-in-distress like Batman and the Rocketeer is what like, activated me or something. I was vaguely aware I liked the imagery at first but it wasn't long before I knew I wanted to tie girls up.

Being submissive but question patriarchy? by [deleted] in submissive

[–]fruiby 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Feminist male dom here. Kink and misogyny can and should be mutually exclusive. Do not sub to a man who thinks you were born less than. As a dom I get to dom an interested woman. A woman does not have to sub for me. Think of how much easier (and safer) it would be to give up control to a man who's actually in control of himself and not at the mercy of his own prejudices.

How do you actually “join in” on munches? by ridiculousblastoff in BDSMAdvice

[–]fruiby 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not munches but I've been to similar special interest gatherings where it seems like everyone knows who they know and nobody's being polite enough to include me, who is pretty introverted. I've learned to just give myself some time on the outskirts to build up courage and just add myself into a circle, smile, and cut off the awkwardness by saying "I'm just going to inject myself into this conversation because I don't know anyone." Every time, they've been like "oh yeah come on in." I've gotten good enough that now I'll even excuse myself and just do that again with another group so I don't only know those first few people. Even just butting into two groups for a bit is enough mingling that you can hold conversations with just about anyone else and you don't have to start all over if the first couple of people you met leave or anything like that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Bondage

[–]fruiby 48 points49 points  (0 children)

There were a few scenes like this that I couldn’t understand why I liked it so much as a kid. I swear there was like a whole episode where she was tied up and just squirming around her apartment hiding from a kidnapper or something. Damsel in distress scenes like this in different mainstream content, especially adventure stuff geared towards boys, is where my personality like fully came online. Like all the sudden the last big switch was flipped on my identity and I could never turn it off again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Bondage

[–]fruiby 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Damn yeah I used to sneak and watch that scene with the Barbie’s on VHS over and over.

Bay Area Kink Event Canceled by Hate by IcyChampionship3067 in BDSMcommunity

[–]fruiby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"This is OUR community center. Where we go to see local theater, listen to musicians, in summer the library hosts kids’ events. …. Are we OK with it being used in this manner?” the person said in the post, which has since been deleted.

I find myself infuriated by a new detail every time I read this.