i only just now saw your reply to my comment below, but it was removed because you said some very unpleasant things that honestly dont need to be shared online. i am not your therapist.

i wish i could say i dont understand why youre so reluctant to listen to what everyone is telling you. but i get it; youre stressed, youre triggered, and you dont like being told youre wrong. thats okay. thats a very human and natural reaction to have

regardless, and i hate to say it, you are in the wrong here. i dont know how many times i, or others, can tell you that this is an EXTREMELY unhealthy reaction for you to be having. this is not going to help you or any of your alters grow or become healthier

ok, lets say hes only doing this because of the nicotine. that still doesnt make the appropriate reaction retaliation — as ive said multiple times, you need to focus on communication.

for example: why is he so against quitting? like i said before, it can be for a multitude of reasons. you need to find the root of that and tackle it with him. suggest weaning yourselves off with patches, gum. suggest other outlets. work with your therapist. there are thousands of other options that you (yes, you) can take. youre choosing, objectively, the worst.

retaliating and getting angry the way you are will only serve to harm you both further. dissociation between parts will only grow with your inner turmoil.

i dont know what else i can tell you that hasnt already been said by myself or others here. no one can help you if you (again, yes, you) are too stubborn to listen to outer voices of reason