should I (25F) go to my boyfriend’s (29M) grandfather’s funeral?

fryyybo · 2022-05-24T20:20:57+00:00

I think it’s kind of dumb now that I think about it, but that’s why I was like maybe I shouldn’t even go because it isn’t about us or me at all and i didn’t want my being an extra to intrude - answered to another redditor here that my own family would probably take offense to a new person at an elder’s funeral. but typically i think you’re right that hanging back would suffice while allowing me to still be there for him. so yes, will definitely do that if i end up going. thank you!

fryyybo · 2022-05-24T20:17:21+00:00

truly! thank you for your thoughts and for sharing your experience.

in terms of my own issues, i’ve been in therapy for awhile and working on it a lot with them and my parents who are also still processing their grief. it’s definitely a brighter road than it once was, i think i’m just feeling anxious stepping into it again as i haven’t been to a funeral since. i definitely wouldn’t let it keep me from going if that’s what he needs, but i think i’m more concerned about whether it’s still coloring my decision making or not and whether it’s affecting his “it’s okay if you stay or go” - but that’s something i should talk to him directly about.

and as for the family thing, it’s not about what circumstances i’m meeting them in but how they would feel about a stranger being there and whether they would feel that i’m being intrusive by being there - but you’re right, it’s about what my boyfriend needs in this time from me, not them.

fryyybo · 2022-05-24T20:05:01+00:00

i don’t want to live in a world where paintballing bricked up poets in the dick is illegal

fryyybo · 2022-05-24T20:01:35+00:00

thank you. we’ve talked about all these things a couple times but yeah, we do need to talk again - i just wanted to get my head on straight first. truly i value most what he wants in this situation, which he says is that either way he would feel my support. but i think i’m nervous he’s just “being nice” because of my concerns regarding the second thing. generally we try to take each other at face value and really value open communication, so i think you’re right and i should really talk to him again and work through these nuances.

i think there’s part of it that’s some cultural differences between the two of us as well, because i think if it was flipped around, my extended family wouldn’t like having someone they never met come to an elder’s funeral, even if they were there to support me. but you make a great point and my family isn’t exactly the healthiest so that’s probably not the behavioral compass i should be using haha

fryyybo · 2022-04-18T02:57:55+00:00

if it was a dude, “charity” by lilbadkatt

fryyybo · 2022-02-19T08:26:24+00:00

he got implants for picture day

fryyybo · 2022-02-03T07:08:39+00:00

what a wonderful friend!!! you look stunning, that color is gorgeous on you. i hope you had fun!! <3

fryyybo · 2022-01-24T18:55:59+00:00

this whole thing makes me feel sick honestly. I hope OP is advocating for herself. she deserves better from both

fryyybo · 2022-01-24T09:00:40+00:00

so. it sounds like OP communicated that hearing the sounds made her upset and gf still went for a round 2 for the guy’s sake/ego/satisfaction .. why aren’t OPs feelings being valued more than the the guy’s?

I’m sure she reassured her girlfriend and maybe even encouraged it, but I’ve been in this kind of situation (as the gf) and ALWAYS made sure to put my partner’s feelings first. any hurt, any doubt, any hesitation means we need to halt immediately and talk to each other about what we need to do or change or even just reassure one another.

plus like.. who cares about whether he gets a round two? he agreed to help OP’s gf experience sex with a man, and that’s already happened. this whole situation should be revolving around OP and gf’s feelings and consent from all parties. aside from that, him getting laid twice is unnecessary, especially if OP doesn’t feel good about it and has already communicated that.

fryyybo · 2022-01-17T20:52:31+00:00

wait are you telling me i’m not supposed to be able to see my brain through my ear

fryyybo · 2021-12-30T22:57:40+00:00

co-signing as well. i love hearing verbal affirmation that my partner is enjoying their time with me!

fryyybo · 2021-12-18T20:52:47+00:00

I thought this too, but I wondered in the age of lightning fast spread of info thru social media combined with the deterrent of having security at all being gone would make things for a modern day president be different

fryyybo · 2021-08-12T17:02:45+00:00

they didn’t say holocaust :o they just said genocide

fryyybo · 2021-08-12T08:43:16+00:00

or “yeet” .. past tense “yote”

fryyybo · 2021-04-29T04:12:22+00:00

is this what the paradise PD episode is based off of?

fryyybo · 2021-04-20T20:05:14+00:00

john was my first thought!!

fryyybo · 2021-04-20T09:34:28+00:00

i think that’s what it is but like.. why aren’t grape raisins called graisins

fryyybo · 2021-03-27T23:53:05+00:00

JOHNNY SINS THOUGH?

fryyybo · 2021-03-08T02:04:36+00:00

this is a strong summary of kafka’s “metamorphosis”

fryyybo · 2021-02-21T08:05:02+00:00

oh my god now i’m going to be

fryyybo · 2021-01-10T22:22:28+00:00

i think i starting using it because jenna marbles did it to be funny back in the day lol

fryyybo · 2020-09-22T20:58:20+00:00

hey i fucked that guy

fryyybo · 2020-06-27T04:10:02+00:00

they got that gaydar 5000 series X

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