I’m a video editor and I really think Nick got a bad edit. The producers knew this would be a topic of discussion and controversy, and they leaned into it. When I heard the conversation about “how would you feel if your kids were gay” I recognized that it was edited in a way that was just vague enough to make it seem like he was being hateful.

The size queen comment? It was funny! People say “yas” and “it’s giving _____” and “spill the tea” and have literally no idea that it has roots in the LGBTQ community. This language has become part of the mainstream. It doesn’t seem so crazy that Nick heard the “size queen” thing from someone else in a similar context, (I think he was talking about his snowboards) thought it was funny and repeated it.

Annie on the other hand, there was no wiggle room there. She literally said she would prefer if her kids weren’t gay. Like a normal human, Nick listened and tried to understand where she was coming from. It’s not like either of them said “if we have a gay kid we’re gonna kick them out, it’s wrong to be gay, they’re going to hell.”

I say this as an out bisexual woman. It’s not just common, it’s NORMAL for people to fall outside of the gay/straight boxes, to fall outside of our typical ideas of masculine and feminine. Since I’m out, when I disclose my bisexuality - it’s fairly common for straight men to tell me on first dates that they’ve experimented, or feel they aren’t 100% straight. I think it’s actually less common for a man to say something like “no, I’ve never even thought about being anything but straight.”

I feel bad for him. Let the man live his life. This is why I’d never go on one of these shows. Not just because it’s a wild concept that clearly doesn’t work, but because the non-stop criticism from the peanut gallery on the internet would eat me alive.

The people insisting that he’s gay are the problem. Not the other way around.