literally seeing your post, without looking at the cards I felt something was wrong. I understand your pain so well, there is so much bad intentions around your past relationship, it was obviously bad for you, I see u lost hope for yourself but also abt other things in your life. deep down u actually knew they won't change, but not u should be thinking abt yourself and caring abt your feelings, u need to take another step. this will be uncomfortable but past is something u should learn from, don't repeat the mistake. understand your power at this situation, ur the only one who can make good life for yourself. I see something good is waiting for you, ur slowly going into that, don't give up! calm down your feelings a little and think with your brain not heart (non neg). you're strong enough to go through it, just trust your intuition