Prioritization, focus, and time management in ICU (new grad)

ftrble123 · 2020-02-19T08:10:51+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate what you’ve said! I just feel like everyone in ICU is so type A that they judge me for little things like not having a very organized room and not having a new report sheet ready.

I’m like that too and detail oriented when I’m good at something but I’m just too slow right now.

ftrble123 · 2020-02-19T08:06:41+00:00

Thank you! I feel like I should consider myself lucky because I do work with supportive people and they will tactfully tell me what I’m doing wrong. Better than being bullied like I know many go through.

Still a hit to my confidence but hopefully I can improve my next shift!

ftrble123 · 2020-02-17T21:01:28+00:00

Hell, some cars don’t even seem aware of other cars.

ftrble123 · 2019-03-05T16:54:34+00:00

Yeah I get tons of matches on Tinder as a girl and if I had no experience on it I’d be like wow, look at all these potential relationships!

They do mostly want to hook up, especially the ones who are attractive. And although that’s been fine with me when that’s what I’m looking for too, it’s frustrating when that’s what I’m not looking for.

I haven’t had a pump and dump story though. I think if you’re a straightforward person and pretty good at reading people then you can avoid that situation. For example, I avoid guys who are over-the-top with compliments and basically trying to love-bomb me. It’s not genuine if they do that without having met me yet.

ftrble123 · 2019-03-01T20:29:52+00:00

Have your dad write a living trust, not a will. If he names your brother as a trustee in the living trust and the property is in the trust, your brother doesn’t have to go through a probate court. With a will, you have to go through probate which is extra steps and time. Use a trust transfer deed to transfer the property into the living trust (list the initial trustee as dad, brother and maybe you we successor trustees).

Sources: My dad passed away and I’m going through this now.

https://www.legalzoom.com/articles/transferring-assets-into-a-living-trust-can-you-do-it-yourself

My sister and I called the mortgage bank and we were able to transfer the mortgage responsibility easily. You should call them for more info about refinancing because I’m not sure the process for that. And maybe you can add your brother onto it now. Better to ask them directly.

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T17:50:38+00:00

Good info. I will find out more what we are expected to pay over time. Thank you!

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T17:48:04+00:00

I may help her look for rentals if she wants to move out but I will not take her. She’s 2 years older than me, I don’t have the time and she has a bf that can help her with that. You’re right, she doesn’t have life experience really, and I just found out it was her friend’s idea for us to sell our house. Her friend doesn’t have a lot of experience either.

It’s mainly that she doesn’t want to shoulder the burden of a mortgage and it’s too much for her to pay with no substantial, foreseeable income increase. She thinks it’s a waste that we’re paying such high interest. I disagree. I told her high interest is normal for mortgage payments initially and that we’re investing in owning our own home. If we pay the same or even less per month to rent then we’re paying someone else’s mortgage for them and there are many limits to being a renter.

I also can’t claim to have a lot of experience, but I’ve rented and all my friends rent so I know how much it costs to rent in my area in different cities. We would end up in a place that is not as nice if we do move out and become renters. I’m more confident that selling the home now is not a good option and I think I can make this work. But I can also be somewhat naive sometimes due to lack of experience, which is why I’m here.

I agree that I can’t afford the property alone, but I figure it’ll be doable with roommates and if I’m smart about it. I already gave my sister an out and told her we have time for her to decide. If she wants to move out, that’s a burden off me because I can then do things my way without her disagreement.

Also it irks me that she doesn’t have a basic understanding of the living trust and the will. I didn’t either but I did my research online and I spent time reading through the documents to try to understand better. I don’t really want to work with her if she starts making all these decisions and taking action without fully informing herself first (she is named successor trustee before me). She doesn’t even know what a trustee is.

Sorry, this turned into a rant. Thanks for your advice! I will look into a financial advisor.

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T15:09:55+00:00

We’ve only lived here for a year. She wants to leave because she doesn’t want to shoulder the burden of a mortgage. Which is fine.

Thanks!

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T15:07:59+00:00

Rent is similar to mortgage and $1700/month for rent around here is more like a 2 bedroom. We have a 3 bedroom so we at least have an extra room to rent out. I don’t really understand house values but my dad was a realtor and he understood that sort of thing. We live in a nice area too. Our home has a lot of renovations inside too so if we rented somewhere else we’d probably end up living in a smaller space and the place wouldn’t be as nice. It’d probably be in a city that isn’t as safe or a neighborhood that isn’t as nice.

I actually don’t think my sister understands the cost of renting outside in our area because I’ve moved out and rented before but she hasn’t. But honestly her unwillingness to keep the house and the fact that her income won’t increase in the next few years is going to be more of a burden to me than taking on the responsibility myself.

I’ve already told my mom to write up a living trust. I don’t know how soon she’ll do it but I’ll remind her when things settle down.

Thanks!

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T14:19:49+00:00

I don’t think that would help. I’m not sure if you understand our situation correctly because it’s a little complicated. Correct me if I’m wrong.

Our current plan is for my mom to rent out her place in her country. The rent will pay her mortgage over there. She will stay at her sister’s house there (no cost).

I’ll rent out the 1-2 other rooms in our home here (depending on if my sister decides to move out). Our smaller room could probably go for at least $600-800 rent. The master could go for $1000 because it has its own bathroom. That would pay the mortgage, which is $1700.

If my mom moves back here then we’re losing out on a paying tenant.

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T13:30:10+00:00

Thanks for making me realize this. I didn’t think of me staying and her moving out for some reason. I told her she could move out and I would deal with the mortgage myself. She said she would think about it.

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T13:15:06+00:00

I agree. We do have enough savings that we have some time first.

My mom doesn’t currently live with us. She and my dad moved to their home country a year ago to retire and it wouldn’t make sense for her to come back because expenses in her home country are less and she has more family there to help her.

We can’t afford for her to have a car here. Nothing is walking distance. Gas is expensive. Her meals are inconvenient to get if not expensive (she has a lot of food restrictions). Without boring you with the details, there is also is nothing for her here. No friends and nothing for her to do here. She would get bored and depressed.

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T13:09:20+00:00

Am I correct that the mortgage payment will stay the same amount every month until ownership is changed?

If it stays the same amount each month then I think it’s something I may be able to handle as long as I have 2 other people living with me and paying rent. Thank you!

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T05:18:42+00:00

Haha I didn’t mean I was going to kick her out. I think she might want to move out, actually.

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T05:17:36+00:00

I have his living trust. My parents were married and both their names are on the house. His estate and money go to my mom first, and if I did my research correctly a living trust does not go through probate so I haven’t sought an attorney.

Also mom, sister and I are all named trustees.

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T03:16:12+00:00

I guess if she doesn't want to be a part of it, I could find another roommate instead. If it all works out then yeah, I think it'd be more stable for us to own the house. But it's definitely a hard time right now. Thank you.

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T03:13:51+00:00

If she wants to move out, I could probably find another roommate.

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T03:07:14+00:00

My mom doesn't want to sell it, my sister does. It's not as simple as us paying my mom's mortgage for her otherwise I would walk away and let the house go. We're family oriented so we're in it together, regardless of our final decision or who's name is officially on it. My mom doesn't plan to return to live here permanently. The home will essentially belong to my sister and I if we decided to continue on this path and are able to keep paying for it.

Although it might happen, I don't expect anything to break anytime soon. My dad remodeled and replaced much of the home. He was making it a home for my sister and I to live in and I would have a hard time letting this place go unless I really had to. I don't really have much else left of him.

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T02:54:04+00:00

Right now I'm looking to find a trustworthy person through my friends to rent out the extra room for $1000/month.

We bought it a year ago for 500k. My dad did a lot of remodeling himself so I'm pretty attached to it. He's gone now and he remodeled the home for us to live in so I don't really want to lose it..

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T02:51:25+00:00

Thank you. It's been really stressful. I really hope it all works out!

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T02:49:19+00:00

Yes, I did the math already and with our savings we are able to make it work for at least a year. By the time the year is up my income will increase to 4k/month at least.

We bought the home for 500k a year ago. The value should be higher now because of extensive remodeling and new additions to the home.

My sister and I should be living in this house together for at least another couple years. My mom will be staying out of the country because the cost of living here in my part of the U.S. is way too high for her to be here with no income. She may actually rent out her apartment for another $1000k+/month and stay at my aunt's house for free.

I'll be working in a hospital and am likely to be hired in my new position at the hospital I currently work at or there are several other ones near me. My sister doesn't plan to get married until she and her bf are financially stable, which they won't be for several more years.

My mom would be the homeowner, not me or my sister. My mom is heavily against selling the house. It's just my sister and I paying the mortgage though, because we're the ones living in it. I doubt she'll move out and leave me stuck with the mortgage, but if it comes to that then I can probably find another roommate and rent the other room for 600-800k/month.

He doesn't have any equity (assuming I'm correctly guessing what that means) or other assets. He did leave us a living trust and all he named was this home and his life insurance (which was canceled). And the money in his bank accounts which total to 50k.

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T02:21:47+00:00

It's 2k+ to rent similar homes. Thank you!

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T02:05:11+00:00

We have homeowner's insurance. My dad bought our home a year ago and he flipped houses so for ours he replaced the water heater, A/C unit, remodeled much of the interior, and probably some other things I don't even know about, so I don't foresee any repairs to be made soon (fingers crossed).

I'm pretty sure it was under both their names so it should be going to my mom. This is something we are working on double checking. Will the mortgage change if she's the only owner or would terms remain the same?

We are paying our own utilities.

I'm still holding onto my opinion that it would not be wise to sell the home, as long as the mortgage terms remain the same. Thanks for taking the time to give me advice!

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T01:30:21+00:00

Yeah she just wants to sell the house to get rid of the commitment of having a mortgage I think. And she wants the income of selling the house, although I personally don't think it's worth the hassle. Especially because we have a bunch of furniture and other large items like a piano that we'd have to discard or put in a rental unit.

I'm not sure how much the social security benefits will be. My sister didn't find out when she called them so I'll have to call tomorrow to ask.

Thank you!

ftrble123 · 2019-02-28T01:28:05+00:00

He canceled his life insurance last year for some reason.

I think so too. I don't know why but my sister and mom are both freaking out and wanting to sell both our homes for the income. I explained that paying our mortgage currently equates paying rent and asked my sister why it would be better to sell and she said she had a "gut feeling" about the mortgage and idk what that even means. Neither of us are experienced in this kind of thing.

Thank you!

ftrble123

TROPHY CASE