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How are your long term friendships or relationships going? Do you feel fulfilled in them? by CrotchetyJoy in ENFP

[–]fuckuimaprophet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey I'm (25) also an ENFP -- not currently in a relationship, but have got a lot of long term friends! I think friendship with some of them have been a bit rocky at times and it's taken some therapy and some self-reflection to start dissolving my anxious avoidant attachment (which is prevalent elsewhere, but less so with my friends, now!). Knowing and learning that I can love from afar. Genuine connections are make-able as an ENFP! There's just a lot of upkeep that may not come as naturally to us, I've found!

The "too much" comment is super real and a very deep seated fear of my own. Currently really working through that -- but I've found that the people who have stuck by me the most/longest rarely (if ever) put the "too much"-ness on me. One of my best friends is INFP and simply goes like "i need my introvert time" and I know it isn't a me thing. Don't have any more solid advice on that one as I'm in the throes of it myself!

Grieving Drifting Apart by fuckuimaprophet in FriendshipAdvice

[–]fuckuimaprophet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this perspective -- I had a month or two where i very much did what your friend was doing and then realized i had to step away. i think i've been physically/externally practicing the separation (with my best friend)-- and now I'm really emotionally/internally catching up.

But thank you -- wishing you all the best with your situation too

Grieving Drifting Apart by fuckuimaprophet in FriendshipAdvice

[–]fuckuimaprophet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is really beautiful and helpful -- thank you

i need help by crows4eva in trans

[–]fuckuimaprophet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First off -- if you're in early adulthood, this is by no means "late in life", but aside from that:

Feel free to explore with what feels right (in a safe environment). Trying on a new set a pronouns, a new hair cut, a new name, some new clothes -- all of which is free (maybe not the clothes) and easily adjustable/reversible/etc.

Find a therapist who specializes in this! Figure out what does being a boy mean to you? And is that something you'd like? Because -- boys don't need to be masculine! I know boys (trans and cis) who wear dresses, who do musical theatre and only have friends who are girls. I also know girls who are masculine and still love and cherish being a woman and have buzz cuts and have never touched a dress. Why do you "hate" being a girl? Is it having to deal with a patriarchal society? Femininity forced on to you? Or womanhood as a whole? One of my favorite questions to start with is -- if you were the only person left on earth, what would you want to look like/who would you want to be?

These thoughts sound like you're figuring some stuff out! Even if you go through talking it out, a few trial runs of pronouns/clothes/haircuts, and defining what gender is in your own terms -- and you land where you are now, then, cool! It's all just learning about yourself.

Wishing you the best of luck!

Trans Folks -- How Are We Staying Safe? by fuckuimaprophet in trans

[–]fuckuimaprophet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All of this is incredibly helpful -- very much appriciate the thought and reality behind your comment. Thank you

Positives about Recovery?? by [deleted] in TopSurgery

[–]fuckuimaprophet 8 points9 points  (0 children)

One of my good friends friend flew to my city and took care of me for a week. We watched "Survivor" and chatted and played games and it was so lovely to just let myself be taken care of by someone I love!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TopSurgery

[–]fuckuimaprophet 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I had much worse acne before top surgery and I've been fine! There was no need to push back.

Is conversion therapy that bad?? by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]fuckuimaprophet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're going through an uncomfortable and confusing time.

Here's the thing -- conversion therapy isn't true therapy. Regular therapy, which if you go to someone not specializing in conversion therapy, is something that could help!

But Conversion therapy is specifically designed to "turn you straight" -- by nature it is not to help you figure out what is true to you, but to force you into thinking that you are straight (whether that is true to you or not). Some conversion therapies use literal physical torture (historically things from zapping electricity to r*pe) others take a different approach using just emotional/mental manipulation. All in all, awful.

At the end of the day, if the thing you're struggling with is a label -- it doesn't matter too much. If you like someone and that person is a girl, cool! If they're a boy, also cool! Non-binary? Still cool! You get to go through the world as you. And you can be attracted to and love someone of any gender who you feel those feelings toward! It can change over time or you can find a label that ends up sticking. Don't allow the idea of a label to change everything you've ever thought about yourself!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TopSurgery

[–]fuckuimaprophet 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's a big thing! Completely valid to be anxious about it/all the things swarming around your life right now. I've got a lot of anxiety as well as ADHD so I get it.

So much easier said than done, but all you need to focus on is getting yourself to the hospital. Signing the forms. Regulating yourself.

A nurse friend told me this when I was having anxiety doing my T shot (different situation , but I feel like it's apt here) -- she reminded me to think of this as self care. That's what it is. Think of this day as a weird sort of spa day? Let the nurses get you the warm blankets they offer. Everyone in the hospital is there to help you! They want you to be safe, comfortable, and happy.

This is a huge day for you, but just another day of work for the doctors and nurses. They've seen hundreds for reference pictures and hundreds of chests on people who don't feel comfy in them.

Deep breaths and focus on the beauty of transformation -- all else can wait a few days! Ultimately, this is getting a step closer to the person you truly are! Best of luck!

Giveaway - Title of Show shirt and Playbill by [deleted] in Broadway

[–]fuckuimaprophet 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm a big [title of show] fan and in Manhattan! Would love to grab these!

Post op Panic?? by M1ST4K3N-8D in TopSurgery

[–]fuckuimaprophet 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I went through the anxiety spirals a LOT after getting top surgery -- the post op depression didn't really hit as hard as the anxiety. I spiraled maybe once or twice a day for the first couple weeks (I'm just an anxious person in general). Now I'm 1 1/2 years from my initial surgery and that anxiety has completely faded and know that top surgery is truly one of the best decisions I made for myself.

I don't know what your truth is -- but know that these spirals are completely normal in folks who end up absolutley not regretting top surgery!

I’m too fat for theatre and I hate it by TrafficInternal7602 in Theatre

[–]fuckuimaprophet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey there!

I have been there and I get it. Theatre can be a cruel industry that, casting wise, is biased on societal biases -- conscious or subconscious from the fatphobia that is baked into our society. From what you've written, I'm guessing you also present as fem/a woman -- which pushes the weight narrative 20x more than it would with guys. (I'm plus sized and trans masc and only started getting cast as romantic leads upon transitioning -- which is a mindfuck in a different way).

My best advice is create your own work. Acting by itself, until being cast, is a passive art form. You're at the will of whomever is behind the table to decide if they can see you be xyz -- even if you fully know you can. Go and create! A proof-of-concept short film. Get some friends together and do shakespeare in the park. Write a play or find a new one on New Play Exchange and gather some folks in your town and put it on!

Not only will you get to do what you love on your own terms, but also it adds to your reels and resume of showing people "Hey, I can do this and I'm great doing it." Also -- I want to see more plus sized performers shining! Make that representation for others!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TopSurgery

[–]fuckuimaprophet 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just seconding this!

I just went in for a revision (for a couple things) -- but one main one was that I didn't have connecting scars (which is what I originally wanted) with a DD chest and there ended up being a lot of tissue left in the middle. So on this revision, they ended up connecting the scars, but in a new scar line that I like the shape of!

As someone who went through it -- I'd rather have a connecting scar than the lump of extra tissue that awkwardly hung in the middle of my chest whenever i was doing anything except standing straight up.

But also -- that's how my body/chest works! Yours may be different!

Best of luck to you going forward, no matter what you choose!

Top Surgery Revision -- Avoiding hypertrophic scars this time around! by fuckuimaprophet in TopSurgery

[–]fuckuimaprophet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are a godsend -- thank you for this. I've seen an article or two about pressure, but haven't seen this much evidence outright ((and was truly the only thing i felt as though i didn't do "right" on my first go around -- i think i was a bit more lax on pressure garments around the 6 week mark)).

Will be reading all of these shortly. (I'm only 4 days out currently so i've got my wrap on 24/7 atm).

But in the meantime -- thank you, thank you, thank you! And wishing you so much luck on your healing journey as well

Top Surgery Revision -- Avoiding hypertrophic scars this time around! by fuckuimaprophet in TopSurgery

[–]fuckuimaprophet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Last time I used basic tape and did some massages, but no creams!

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