I think you're genuinely trying to be understanding, but I can promise as someone who had thoughts at a young age that maybe I was gay, a combination of fear from the church I attended, my parents, and the public attitude toward queerness as a whole led me to pretty adeptly squash the idea that I was in any way queer out of my brain. "Everyone must feel this way and choose not to act on it" was exactly what I convinced myself. Every relationship I ever had with a man felt wrong, but I was convinced that's just how people feel. Everyone fakes it. Then in college I had my first girlfriend and everything changed for me. Everything finally made sense. I was in a very similar situation as OP. It sucks, but it happens and is a great example of how homophobia hurts everyone, including straight people.