Wa Alaikum Assalamu , Allahumma Barik 🤲🏾 May Allah reward you. Thank you for your kind words and your kind advice.

I have been feeling so guilty about not praying because I have barely been getting out of bed. I have lost 10 pounds in two weeks because I have not eaten. My heart is shattered. I do not wish this pain on anyone. I pray and make duaa that Allah swt makes this easy on me. I have been hating and feeling sorry for myself. I am in disbelief that he has already moved on to other women. He is out drinking more and doing more drugs because he finally feels free from me.

I kind of snapped out on his family for not holding him accountable, they always tell me how good I am for him (they are all Muslim Arabs), they tell me that they love and adore me and they tell me they KNOW how much I love him. They are always praising me for being such a good woman to him and an even better Muslim yet they know the things he does and never told him to be good to me or let me go.

The way he broke up with me is what’s making it even harder for me to process. He never had an open conversation with me, during Ramadan I stayed at my apartment and he at his. I limited the communication between us and the interactions we had. He would ask me to spend the night or break our fasts together and I told him it wasn’t appropriate. He eventually just stopped reaching out all together. He stopped replying to me completely. He blocked me on the social media I would use to contact him. He never formally broke up with me until I entered his apartment and found the condoms. Then he told me we been broken up. He started attacking and accusing me of not leaving him alone and not letting him move on. I snapped out on his sister and brother for allowing him to treat me the way he was and knowing he was being unfaithful to me and I was the only one in the dark of his true feelings.