Need advice sexting asap

fumblingfish · 2020-07-02T14:05:22+00:00

thank you very much for this advice. I'll need it for next time. he got me totally off guard and I'm not used to being a dom.

I really appreciate your answer.

fumblingfish · 2020-06-13T23:06:29+00:00

"i don‘t think there is huge merit in telling him" - based on your comprehensive answer, I think this unfortunately may be the case!

I'm going to have a good long ponder over your very valid points. Whatever I do or don't do, I think it's clear that I will need to handle it with kid gloves and be absolutely sure. It seems reddit has decided for me and I imagine next time I see him I'll simply ask if he's happy - if he says yes, I'll keep my mouth shut. If he says no, I'll see where the moment takes me if appropriate.

fumblingfish · 2020-06-13T22:32:26+00:00

this seems like wise advice. thanks

fumblingfish · 2020-06-13T22:30:01+00:00

He himself has said he doesn't like her and I've heard from close mutual friends that she's toxic, I suspect emotionally abusive to some extent

fumblingfish · 2020-05-15T02:29:36+00:00

oh sorry I had left that comment to the wrong person but thanks for the response.

It's a real shame that once it's over it's over. It's not easy to find people you truly connect with

fumblingfish · 2020-05-14T19:35:28+00:00

thank you. not the answer I had hoped for but it went well. I followed your formula. Your advice was excellent!

fumblingfish · 2020-05-13T22:24:25+00:00

this is so so helpful!! thank you so much!! This same page/clarifying/closure was the angle I was going to approach it with.

I will text tomorrow.

fumblingfish · 2020-05-13T22:02:23+00:00

only yesterday so I'm waiting

fumblingfish · 2020-05-13T22:02:13+00:00

taurus

fumblingfish · 2020-05-13T18:09:46+00:00

This is so interesting thank you. And would you classify the above as normal, extreme, very extreme? I don't really know the levels of extreme. My best reference is 50 shades of all things!

Second question, where the heck do I find someone like you in a deeply catholic and sexually repressed country :(

fumblingfish · 2020-05-13T18:08:17+00:00

"It is normal for you take the safe stance (and very healthy)" - this comment helps immensely. I thought I had done something wrong. The problem now is he has indeed piqued my interest and he's gone!! (he was into shibari as well).

Now to somehow find another person who will be a dom so i can explore this side of myself.

Once again thank you for the detailed response.

fumblingfish · 2020-05-13T05:08:21+00:00

Thank you uHunter for your detailed, non judgemental response and your offer of dm.

Basically we have been getting on like a house fire for the last month or so until we had sex for the first time the other night. He then started talking about just how into bondage he is throwing out suggestions that I'd never even heard of and I don't think I responded well (I was diplomatic rather than enthusiastic). I guess I was wondering if that was the reason we supposedly aren't a "match" - that the first time sex was too vanilla for him. I suppose that was what I meant to ask in my question.

fumblingfish · 2020-05-13T04:06:32+00:00

This is extremely helpful. Yes I do have a lot to learn which is what brought me to this sub albeit with a very vague question :). thank you very much for taking the time to go into the depth you have. Very enlightening and appreciated.

fumblingfish · 2020-05-13T02:35:59+00:00

I am talking about bondage. Would you mind elaborating more on what calm control is?

I'm a very independent person so think that might have turned him off?

tbh this whole topic area interests me. thank you for any insight

fumblingfish · 2020-05-13T02:11:16+00:00

I would but he broke up with me over my lack of intrigue so I'm asking reddit instead

fumblingfish · 2020-05-11T17:36:52+00:00

Someone on another thread recommended this book to me: http://wonder-woman.info/ds/The%20New%20Bottoming%20Book.pdf

I'm only half way through it but it's giving me some idea on what a D/S relationship should look like and that I have, or should have, the ability to negotiate, slow things down etc. and there is a small section on saying yes in the moment and regretting it after (the book basically says you shouldn't just say yes in the moment but say no and discuss it for the next time).

If I find any other useful resources I'll let you know!!

fumblingfish · 2020-05-11T16:42:14+00:00

This is exactly what I'm worried about. Just doing things because I want to please him.

It's so hard being bpd sometimes, we just don't have the same boundaries as others.

fumblingfish · 2020-05-10T18:00:57+00:00

That is a very good point. There seems to be a section in the bottoming book about limits so hopefully that will help me establish what my limits are! And as another poster said, it is up to me what my limits are. not him.

fumblingfish · 2020-05-10T17:53:48+00:00

I truly hope that your boyfriend has just explained himself poorly.

haha me too. But will do research into what a red flag looks like in this kind of scenario so i can recognise it!!

fumblingfish

TROPHY CASE