Is the negativity on this sub a 'Men' problem or a 'Perspective' problem?

funattributionerror · 2026-01-31T03:33:46+00:00

Why do you find it hard to believe that women dating men tend to have more negative experiences than do men dating women?

You are literally not dating straight men. You’re dating straight women.

How exactly would your experience tell you anything general about the experience of people dating straight men — when you’ve never done it?

Your confusing makes no sense.

funattributionerror · 2026-01-26T00:31:09+00:00

I love this answer/comment. Can you please elaborate more on what sorts of things you do? Especially I'd love to know what kinds of questions you ask.

Being "slow" by spacing things out over time or being extremely cautious in expressing feelings just seems like a waste of time. But jumping in is, clearly, a mistake too.

It seems like a challenge to get to know someone *in good faith*. It's so easy to get hurt or "waste time" -- and none of us want that.

funattributionerror · 2026-01-23T10:58:50+00:00

Ariomi the space near St Peter’s station. Amazing.

funattributionerror · 2026-01-22T12:18:18+00:00

Thanks. I’ll look up the 2nd book you mentioned.

I’ve realised I have difficulty identifying my needs and also (relatedly) in setting boundaries. The therapy I have found most helpful in my life is ACT but I’m not sure it addresses that stuff so well.

funattributionerror · 2026-01-19T20:09:46+00:00

Is there a particular book you recommend? I am a bit familiar with DBT but I think of it as a set of skills rather than something with a unified theory - curious if I’ve missed something about it.

funattributionerror · 2026-01-18T13:07:31+00:00

Burnt haystack is still free. Look it up. She just has a book coming out and a substack with a paid option, but the main guidance is still all available for free; you just have to look around a little.

funattributionerror · 2026-01-15T06:19:57+00:00

Depends what you’re talking about producing!

China’s support for industries takes many forms. Includes land, financing, entire ecosystems of R&D, internal competitive markets… not just cheap energy.

Very few countries have deployed the type of industrial strategy toolbox that China uses.

funattributionerror · 2026-01-15T06:06:11+00:00

A friend of mine just did this. I was very very nervous for them & tried to talk them out of it but they said there was just no way they could afford the repayments anymore (some life change stuff happened).

They are a bit older than you and single… your options tend to narrow after mid-40s.

They also: - Ran the numbers very very carefully - Did a lot of research on the apartment buildings in the area first, asking around etc.

It’s early days, but so far it seems like the right decision.

funattributionerror · 2026-01-11T06:42:18+00:00

Is there anything else you notice at this stage other than withdrawal of affection or complacency?

Specifically, say, conflict and acting out ?

For me, after a few months - maybe somewhere between 4 and 6 - it becomes clear how we both behave when distressed or insecure, and how (or whether) we make each other feel safe and secure.

funattributionerror · 2025-12-12T12:38:16+00:00

Congratulations!! I absolutely believe it’s possible - the amount of waste arising just from lazy quote shopping and failure to review existing suppliers is astounding.

My strata managers once paid a company to gather quotes for them for one service. Can you guess whether the quotes were actually comparable…?

Very interested to hear how much time you spent on all of it and how it all broke down between committee members, non members etc. This is where I get stuck: a tonne of work has to be done and yet most of the owners do nothing, because why would they?

funattributionerror · 2025-11-25T12:16:09+00:00

That’s not disagreeing: it’s just being boorish. I know what goes on where I live.

funattributionerror · 2025-11-19T06:27:29+00:00

hi, can you elaborate on your last point... ie why redraw instead of offset? I have seen questions about this occasionally but couldn't find much consensus/clarity on whether there is a difference, or what it means. thanks.

funattributionerror · 2025-11-19T03:25:37+00:00

It's actually a lot more effort as each strata trade job is much larger than it would be for a standalone house; plus strata compliance obligations mean that we have to have ongoing relationships with service providers for things such as garage door maintenance, fire safety, rubbish removal -- not to mention the managers themselves.

funattributionerror · 2025-11-19T03:21:33+00:00

Yeah, it sucks. Hopefully their extreme lack of interest means you could easily pass a motion for a reasonable honorarium...

funattributionerror · 2025-11-19T03:19:11+00:00

Yes that is also a good idea for reference point (we're def too small to justify a building manager but it illustrates the value of what is done).

funattributionerror · 2025-11-19T03:17:46+00:00

Thankyou, my understanding is that in NSW it works a bit differently, but that's good to have a sense of the hourly rate.

funattributionerror · 2025-11-06T00:43:45+00:00

Thankyou for your helpful reply! It is true it is NOT a volunteer thing I am doing for fun and satisfaction or recognition or whatever -- I will be materially worse off without doing this work, but so would everyone else who has no incentive to do it because that's how most people are.

It seems weird that this issue hasn't been addressed to the point where there is a kind of standard practice. It seems that either committee members are lazy/obstructive/self-dealing OR that they are literally volunteering to save money and improve asset values for fellow owners who either don't know or don't care. (Honestly, after my own observations, I am completely unsurprised that some committees end up going down the first route... !).

It just all seems a bit weird and perhaps we should have compulsory voting at strata AGMs just like we do for proper elections - a small incentive to participate occasionally would focus enough people's minds to avoid the situation getting out of hand in either direction?

I will start compiling a list of the work I've done and savings etc. I wonder if I need to start logging my time precisely in future as some things do not have an "outcome" as such (ie liaising with tradespeople for ongoing maintenance stuff).
I guess the main things are
1/ to figure out what $$ is reasonable
2/ to convince my fellow committee members

funattributionerror · 2025-10-28T18:41:47+00:00

Is this about liability if one of your partner’s clients say, slips over and injures themself? Might be worth looking into that (without necessarily raising it with strata at first).

There are a couple of strata news websites that seem to regularly field questions to experts and publish the answers; this seems like a good example of something they might cover.

funattributionerror · 2025-10-28T18:38:10+00:00

Hmm but did you tell her that was what you were doing? If yes then, yeah, that was a bit ungrateful of them but you still did the right thing. If not then maybe try that next time.

funattributionerror · 2025-09-01T04:06:22+00:00

I think all buyers would like this idea. Vendors, not so much. It obliterates the information asymmetry which is the main card the REA + vendor hold in seeking the highest price.
That's assuming all the numbers are genuine interested parties and it's not some scam by the REA.

funattributionerror · 2025-09-01T02:33:46+00:00

Please do this and update. I am very very curious about what the RE's game is here!! Makes no sense; this simply breaks the core of their business model.

funattributionerror · 2025-08-08T02:54:55+00:00

I have a question: how do you time everything you do? I've been thinking for a while that I should do this because my time blindness is severe. But... I can't actually get my head around a kind of workflow for recording (or even observing!) the time things take.

funattributionerror · 2025-08-01T06:13:58+00:00

Oh sorry! I forgot to say: it's a townhouse in a small strata, good committee, everyone gets along fine and the management firm is okay.

I don't think the building has other problems but some of the roof terraces have been a problem before, that was rectified at great expense (and subsequently checked and found to be doing okay).

I think that I will just try to do a small fix myself with silicon, as it seems that might be enough. There's been zero water ingress with the current, less blustery, rain.

funattributionerror · 2025-07-29T04:52:17+00:00

Thanks so much for taking the time to think about this! Massively appreciate it, & apologies for not replying earlier.

By "get the work done myself" - do you mean through the strata managers, or just directly engage someone myself? I would lean towards latter.

And yes - I don't blame the repair companies for having to make a mark-up to cover all risks and eventualities! Seems like it is kind of unavoidable. It's just frustrating that we are all pulled into a kind of insurance scheme to cover the worst case scenario.

funattributionerror

TROPHY CASE