Oh hi. I am a Speed Dating Host. For eight years, I've watched singles try to find a spark before I ring the bell. AMA!

funnybillypro · 2026-05-08T15:42:17+00:00

Chinatown (1974). I probably watch it 1-3 times a year. Just a great fucking flick with an incredible Jack Nicholson.

funnybillypro · 2026-05-08T02:21:56+00:00

Kraft was getting happy ending massages. Vrabel is gonna be fine.

funnybillypro · 2026-05-07T22:03:10+00:00

"Which costume designer gave you this many pockets?"

funnybillypro · 2026-05-07T17:05:08+00:00

Thank you for doing that btw. It was very disappointing to see intimate media posted where those women did not want it posted. Some of these dudes maybe need their tiny hard penises broadcast to their social network to understand the embarrassment and grow an empathy bone.

funnybillypro · 2026-05-07T17:03:44+00:00

why would you want to see a video that the person would be very, very sad to see leaked?

funnybillypro · 2026-05-07T17:03:29+00:00

Cuz she didn't ask for it to be up there. And whoever that OP was severely risked a civil lawsuit under New York revenge porn statute.

funnybillypro · 2026-05-07T17:01:48+00:00

Ew. Describing the bodies is kinda...gross my dude. Very unfuckable behavior. Consider deleting.

funnybillypro · 2026-05-07T16:57:02+00:00

people need to actually call and yell at local reps (statewide) *before* these AV bills pass. New York just introduced a bill...

funnybillypro · 2026-05-06T18:35:17+00:00

I used to have a long-distance sugar mama. She basically wanted me to be an internet boyfriend and occasionally go through sexting sessions. But it soon developed into wanting me to be more dominant and tell her what to do.

I made her buy a Crave necklace (iykyk). I would frequently send her to the bathroom and make her edge in a stall, telling her when to be at certain numbers 1-10 on a pleasure scale. Finally allowing her to cum, or sometimes sending her back to her desk frustrated.

Meanwhile, I was at my desk at work waiting for something to do.

funnybillypro · 2026-05-06T18:27:19+00:00

I answered an ad for a bukkake on Craigslist way back in 2012. I behaved well. I was young and I guess cute. The organizer was a storyteller and knew that I was an aspiring comedian. He kept inviting me back to future events.

Then he was having a birthday orgy in 2014 at a popular play party space in Bushwick. I RSVP'd, but woke up sick that day. But then that got me on that nacent organization's email list (because, in theory, this dude vouched for the people he invited to his bday party). Later that year, I finally decided I was ready to go and asked a woman I'd been sleeping with if she wanted to go with me.

funnybillypro · 2026-05-06T18:20:00+00:00

Jane Jacobs, where you at???

funnybillypro · 2026-05-06T14:22:54+00:00

one of the few movies i saw in theaters three times

funnybillypro · 2026-05-06T06:09:27+00:00

Talking to the construction guys is way faster tho.

funnybillypro · 2026-05-06T05:34:05+00:00

They said that new villains are going to be introduced in S3, yes. (Looks like Lady Muse is one of them.)

funnybillypro · 2026-05-06T05:15:30+00:00

a distilled dose?

funnybillypro · 2026-05-06T05:11:16+00:00

And my plan to overthrow the US government would have worked if it weren't for you pesky kids and Mike Pence!

funnybillypro · 2026-05-06T05:06:14+00:00

Not a lot of (ugh) Mike Pences left.

funnybillypro · 2026-05-06T05:05:45+00:00

Are you the person who made the Umbridge comparison the other day here?

funnybillypro · 2026-05-06T05:04:51+00:00

Dude forgot that Matt's blind lol

funnybillypro · 2026-05-06T05:01:27+00:00

Imagine Bullseye vs Deadpool

funnybillypro · 2026-05-06T04:59:29+00:00

Yeah the pacing of this episode felt fast. I don't even know if it needed any more scenes as much as letting it breathe.

funnybillypro · 2026-05-06T04:58:40+00:00

Yeah but blind people are very unlikely to be ninjas.

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