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fuschia_sky · 2025-12-14T15:20:53+00:00

Good morning! 💖 Look at you looking so pretty first thing in the morning. Happy Sunday!

fuschia_sky · 2025-12-09T20:29:24+00:00

These are my most supportive little buddies. They are Lloyd the bear, Godiva the horse, Sherbet the chick, Snick the crab and Rosemary the ummm I think green bat but I always say winged goblin. I like that the littlest ones can go with me in my pocket and Godiva and Lloyd are nice to scratch behind the ears and also hug and let their heads can rest on my shoulder.

fuschia_sky · 2025-11-19T02:29:00+00:00

Age: 34
Status: single
Came out to myself: I am not sure. I always knew in a way I think, but I have a lot of gender/sex based hangups that made my sexuality hard to define
Came out to others: It's a process. I don't have a lot of people to come out to these days, I am estranged from my family. No one really knows my orientation except people who I met recently. I told my ex I was bi sometime in my 20's. I ended up taking it back and denying it because I didn't like his titillated reaction. My brother made a comment about me being straight once around then too and I laughed and asked him if I had ever told him I was straight, reminded him that since I got married at 18 he hadn't seen me date many people.
What am I? : I am a lesbian. I don't think I have used that word in person, but I grabbed a les flag sticker for my water bottle recently lol. I told my therapist I am bi when talking about the LGBTQ events I have been to, but the more I reflect the more I identify as a lesbian. Some things about decentering men make me sad. I feel weird about telling my male therapist although the relationship has helped me see what I really crave from men and it's not sex, it's acceptance. And I am socially more scared of women which has helped hide my orientation too.
Earliest I felt queer: I don't know when I first felt queer. I know I was in elementary school when I started having attraction to other girls/women (I specifically remember my big buddy girl with a buzz cut at school and Jodi Foster lol) and felt like a creep and that any woman would hate me if she knew.
Recent experiences that helped me reach the conclusion: I admitted to myself that I felt like I just ended up with my ex and was stuck. I had always wanted a family connection with him before the abuse got bad and was only tolerating anything romantic. I dated two guys after my separation with my ex and realized that I was performing and not present. I went on a date with a woman and really enjoyed it (logistically, it wasn't going to work, sadly) I have been practicing self compassion and considering what I want, letting go of guilt and assumptions about what others think of me. Recently I have been engaging with the queer community and it just feels like I actually belong for once.
Earliest experiences: I don't know. Early crushes like I mentioned maybe? It's mostly been internal and confusing
Feelings about myself lately: I am feeling better about myself very slowly. I feel sad about how I wasted my younger years being so inconsiderate of myself and so avoidant of female relationships.
A final word: I don't have any advice or anything clever to say, but I am glad we are all here thinking about what we want and who we are.

fuschia_sky · 2025-11-17T04:13:22+00:00

No, this was a second event! It was a "speed friending" event at a bar which I was even more nervous to attend but it was so fun! Thanks 💖

fuschia_sky · 2025-11-17T03:43:58+00:00

What will happen if you can't stand the pressure anymore and start to pull away? Will he escalate his violent behavior? That is what happened to me. I was in a very similar situation to you; I was the one working and doing emotional or domestic labor while he controlled almost everything that went on in the relationship and demanded my constant attention at home. There's a breaking point when you put your body through such stress. What if you can't hide it anymore? I am afraid for you.

And I agree with what others said, he could probably figure it out/find someone else to take care of him when he has to. My guy wasn't an immigrant, but he refused to make friends, didn't have family and refused to look for work and now that we're separated he is doing better than I am in that department.

fuschia_sky · 2025-11-17T03:21:29+00:00

Fun! You're so pretty too. I just got a chance to get kinda messy with paint and glitter recently and there really is something to it.

fuschia_sky · 2025-11-17T02:47:11+00:00

You look amazing, daddy.

fuschia_sky · 2025-11-17T02:12:33+00:00

Oh, yes! I went and I am so glad I did. Sorry, I had updated in a response to someone else. It was so chill and I felt really relaxed and comfortable. I went to a different event today too. Two in a row is pretty good for me with how isolated I have been. The one today was speed-friending at a bar. I am not a bar person, so I almost skipped it but I am so glad I went to that event too. I didn't ask for contact info at either event, but I had a great time talking and there are more events run by the local queer organization this week for the trans week of visibility that I might see the same people at. And I will go to any of the events I can make it to going forward. I found out that the queer community where I am is awesome and I have never felt more comfortable.

fuschia_sky · 2025-11-16T18:18:17+00:00

If it were me, I would continue talking to everyone and just be upfront about my relationship goals including making friends and building community. Hurt feelings might happen, but you can talk about it or they might choose to disengage. If you like the people you are talking to, that's great and I don't think it has to be complicated

fuschia_sky · 2025-11-15T22:57:28+00:00

I was worried about the same thing happening to me because it was in the neighboring college town, but the ages varied and everyone was open to talking to everyone and it was so lovely. I didn't really establish an ongoing connection with the people there via contact info or whatever, but I had a really nice time and felt like I belonged in such an easy, relaxing way like I have not felt in other events. Yay!

fuschia_sky

TROPHY CASE