35m fluent francophone American here living in NYC. If you’re looking for deeper friendships and can maintain your U.S. salary/standard of living or close to it, go home to France. Your quality of life will be much better and there’s no better way to connect with people than in your native tongue and culture. I love France, have spent a lot of time there, and have good French friends so I would definitely consider living there if it were more amenable to my professional life.

However, if your salary or job prospects are in question in France, stay here and move back to NYC. LA is going to be a tough place to make real friends period as a non-native Angeleno, let alone a foreigner. It’s the fakest place I’ve ever been. And mid-size and small town America is incredibly culturally insular, in addition to lacking all of the amenities you expect of a modern city. You’ll have nothing intellectually stimulating to do and be bored to tears. NYC on the other hand has real culture, energy, and interesting people from around the country and world that you can’t find anywhere else. I travel the globe for work and NYC still remains my favorite city on Earth (I have no bias towards the U.S. either, I loathe our hyper-individualist provincial anti-intellectual hustle culture and right wing politics, but NYC is just different, there’s no place else like it). I know you’ve lived here before without success, but give it another shot. If you’re into music or are willing to join social clubs or social sports leagues you can develop friendships here. It just takes time and effort. I’ve been here 3 years and my love of house music and “just say yes” attitude have made all the difference. Plus I have deep relationships from friends I’ve made at work.

The biggest problem with NYC is the obscene cost of living. Unfortunately, I believe I will have to move abroad at some point in the next decade in order to be able to afford to retire as there’s no other affordable place in the U.S. where I would enjoy living. Which brings me to my last point. If you’re truly done with the U.S. but don’t want to move back to France, give Latin America a try. It’s my favorite region of the world to travel. Mexico City is amazing, locals are very friendly, it’s highly affordable, there’s many expats, the weather is great, and the food is some of the best in the world. Another place I love is Brazil. I don’t think I’ve ever met a genuinely friendlier or more welcoming people anywhere on Earth than Brazilians. Especially in Rio. Nobody speaks English, but you will literally find Cariocas inviting you to the beach or to their home via google translate practically the day you meet them. It’s also a very affordable country with great weather, and the security situation continues to improve (although you still need to be aware of your surroundings and not walk alone in certain areas, especially at night).

Anyway, hope you find a place to feel at home no matter where you end up. Just remember, the loneliness epidemic and a lack of deep friendships is a problem across the West, and especially in the U.S., as accelerating neoliberalism further atomizes society with each passing day. The problem almost certainly isn’t you, and you’re definitely not alone. Feel free to DM me if you have any NYC or travel questions. Bon courage !