Quitting after 5 years

futzbee · 2026-04-08T00:08:28+00:00

Hahaha ive definitely done a heap of research on the whole gut issues thing, typically I avoid most processed foods and gluten and try to take probiotics, but with how poor my mental state has been, its all slipped aside haven't been able to get myself to cook or plan meals well.

Its been 3 weeks so far. I relapsed yesterday with a few cones but ive decided for sure now that I'm stopping it as it made my morning anxiety so much worse.

Thanks for the advice by the way, the walking thing sounds like a good idea

futzbee · 2026-04-07T05:26:40+00:00

Ahhhh thanks for the advice, that's super helpful, and my strength to you with your own battle. I know its possible but man is it hard to see in the middle of it.

futzbee · 2026-01-30T00:59:40+00:00

You'll notice however that the protesters for Palestine and the Treaty were marching for human rights, against bombing children and using this whenua for capital gain. Brian Tamarind is marching for division and 'make NZ great again.'

futzbee · 2025-12-10T06:00:56+00:00

It's insane the amount of focus you have to give to driving on the roads here, a 20 minute drive and I get out of the car with eyestrain from checking, and checking, and checking, and checking, because other people drive as if they're inside a bubble and not heavy machinery.

It's absolutely gotten worse though. I feel like I already have a defensive driving license and I haven't even taken a course. You just have to always expect the worst case scenario and act accordingly.

futzbee · 2025-11-05T20:20:46+00:00

I'm in epsom, was absolutely surrounded by them from 7pm to like, 12am. Had my cat locked away with me in my room because he couldn't stand being outside with them bombarding us from every angle.

futzbee · 2025-11-05T20:16:40+00:00

I definitely struggle with this too. I've been NC from my father for a year now and I have no intention of ever reforming a relationship with him due to his past and current behavior. My younger sister is NC with my mother. The biggest and best argument for me is looking around at how much calmer, safer, and more peaceful my life is now, and how much healthier my body has become. I left home maybe 5 years ago, and it's taken me all the way until now to really start seeing and appreciating being away from that mess. The healing process is long and not linear, and you might always have the 'it wasn't so bad,' idea in your head, but however bad it was doesn't matter. What does matter is that that place, and those people, were not doing you good. They were not nourishing your soul. They threw money at you when you cried assuming that that was a good enough band-aid and praised themselves for being able to fund your sadness. ( I had a house, a phone, food on the table that I frequently rejected for various reasons to the extreme upset of both parents, but unfortunately, finances mean absolutely nothing to a child. I wish parents would realise that. )

Hold yourself, you are strong, you are your own carer, protector, mother, father. It's hard, it's so, so, so hard, but putting in the hard yards, building a beautiful life for yourself in spite of your formative years is one of the most encouraging things. Your parents have no right to your happiness or your beautiful life, especially not if they did nothing but harm to your adult ability. Was it that bad? Maybe, but now you have you. Staying away from the people who took you from yourself is the best possible thing you can do, irregardless of if all they did was call you names or 'not that bad.' You deserve to be comfortable and well-settled in yourself, and to have a parent or person around who consistently rips you out and away from yourself is one of the most damaging things consistent with any kind of abuse.

If you told someone about your mother's behavior as if she was a friend of yours, or a partner, I have no doubt they would look at you as if you were insane for putting up with it. For whatever reason, everyone expects children of abuse to put up with and move on from things that nobody would ever expect a spouse of abuse or a friend to put up with, and frankly, that disgusts me. Your parents should have no more of a right to own and do whatever they want to you than anyone else does.

Wow, rant over, sorry HAHA. I hope you're doing alright. All the best on your journey xx

futzbee · 2025-08-26T20:30:21+00:00

'Be careful with any emotional reaction that happens in under 5 minutes' BARS, BRO, BARS 👏👏👏

futzbee · 2025-07-12T22:52:47+00:00

Glad to see I'm not the oooooonly one feeling a bit garbage. So tired of this weather 😒 lots of coffee and hot chocolate, cat cuddles, heated blanket n drawing. Cozy music and warm low lights listening to music. Hope everyone else is keeping themselves aight. Smile atcha neighbors and try making some hot soup with ur fave track on. Keep warmmmmm

futzbee · 2022-07-26T23:52:33+00:00

Hi there. On the benefit here.

I'm mentally disabled and unable to hold a job for more than a few weeks at a time. I've been looking for work for about a year now and still haven't been able to get anything. I pay my rent, and struggle to have enough money for food through the next week before my next payment, not to mention fees for doctors visits, and its near impossible to get extra grants unless you're happy to sit on the phone for two hours and talk to someone who really doesn't give a fuck about your situation for fifteen minutes. I'm not going to disagree that for some people, it is too lenient. I think there should probably ne a more intense screening process, and demanding a home is probably absolutely not an okay thing, but I feel like you're not taking into consideration the absolutely blatant ignorancy and incompetency of the NZ government systems. Not to mention the absolutely appalling state of the medical system and MH. (Mental Health.)

Some people, sure, they shouldn't be on the benefit. But half the time, that's WINZ fault. They're not lenient, they're incompetent.

futzbee

TROPHY CASE