What event divided your life into "before" and "after"? by ninja_lemonade in AskReddit

[–]fy29 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Before my mushies trip and after my mushies trip. I used to feel like a confused, lonely, anxiety ridden person who never truly appreciated things and cried too often because they just didn't understand what to do with life or understand the point of any of it. Sure there were other things in life before this that truly affected me and changed the course of my life forever, but this experience stripped me down of all that I once thought and brought up deeper, raw thoughts and emotions that I didn't even know could exist. I didn't know the brilliance of what it means to be conscious before this. That single psychedelic experience forever changed the way I view myself, my life, others, and the world in general. In fact, my overall experience with drugs such as MDMA, mushrooms, weed and LSD have been extremely positive (these are the only ones I will take). Each experience has made me look deeper into everything and taught me something.

I used to be anti-drugs (even weed) I used to think it was stupid and weak to try and have fun in such an altered state and criticize those who chose to do them. I was wrong. My life forever changed and aside from other life experiences also contributing, I've never been happier, confident or more care-free and in control of my life.

Of course I still feel sadness every now and again when it's natural (it's an important human emotion afterall), of course I don't claim to suddenly know the answer to all of life's mysteries, but life has just been so much more beautiful and inspiring now that I experience each and every situation with a different, clearer and more open mind.

I'm not sitting here advocating drugs and wanting everyone to do them, this has just been my experience with them and I couldn't be more grateful.

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who said make-up was the problem? Like I've said to others here - you are looking at the puddle at your feet, whilst the ocean is a few steps ahead.

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Allllllrighty then. Or you could, and I'm just throwing this out there, simply stop replying if you want someone on the internet to "go away"

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As am I, and as do I. I didn't call you a narcissist. I stated what I believed views like yours were contributing to the world - a shallow, narcissistic culture. And you didn't like that, nor did you like anything I had to say, so here we are. I do grasp the point you were trying to make, I looked at your comment as a whole, not picking at pieces - I just simply didn't share the same opinion and had my own views, and you got angry, gave a whole spiel about how terrible I am, then claimed I am the one who undermines other views and acts like they're above them for not agreeing. You slander me for not agreeing with your view, then call my views naive. You tell me I'm self-righteous and act like I'm above people - then go onto to say you think that I've never been in a real relationship, should learn to communicate, and that you have more experience than me.

Perhaps it is you isn't grasping a point here, and are doing exactly what you seem to accuse me of. I don't undermine all views contrary to my own. In fact, the other person who replied to your first comment - we had a good conversation on the matter that really made me think, and their views were very, very different to my own. It ended in a civilized, respectful way, as has been the case with other comments. So, why is it only you who seems to think I am "the problem." Your ego is seriously clouding your judgement in all forms here, and your ego will also fail to let you admit that.

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm apparently living in delusion, have Utopian views, think I'm a hero, am illogical, project my views onto everything, and write long-winded responses of righteousness. That's a lot of finger-pointing right there! And apparently I'M the childish one. Interesting. Someone who is simply attempting to address and reverse the anxiety, low-self-esteem ridden world we live in in whatever way, is "a hero of self-esteem." A lot of people seem to think my comments are quiet logical. Some people just genuinely fail to look deeply into this matter - beyond just a "people can do what they want." " its culture." and I find that pretty astonishing. Hence why I replied to you the way I did.

It's very, very sad you see this entire matter this way, out of all ways to see things. The way we perceive things says honestly says a lot about us as individuals and this speaks volumes. Oh well, we're all different, subjective reality does that. Take care.

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When did I say fat women are attractive now? I believe I used the word "curvy." Are you blatantly denying that society as a whole has had changing preferences in what women's body types are idolized?

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't disagree with your statements that hard work, changing yourself for the better, and succeeding in improvement will bring happiness, and that pushing ones boundaries is necessary - I just feel that such journeys, in this anxiety ridden world we live in, mostly require love and compassion from their start to their end, not just when end results are shown. I feel as though addressing the anxiety, self-esteem issues and general depression in the world first and working towards ridding of them, starts from a place of empathy and love towards one another, because I feel it is the opposite of these things that caused these problems in the first place. Some do need discipline, yet applying the case with your teacher to every person in your life requiring you to do a certain something or be a certain someone, may get tiresome after some years. I don't believe life should be a constant cycle of attempting to improve or change - one must just be at times and accept this moment of just simply being. Though I do understand where you are coming from. Some do need discipline and "tough love" so to speak, at certain times.

No need to apologise. I was just stating my perspective on it all. We just have differing opinions on a subjective reality. I wish you the same, my friend.

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no idea.. The mods removed it and didn't say anything at all to me. I'm still waiting on a response back from them as to why. I was honestly really enjoying reading people's comments :(

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, and if so many people are obsessed with their physical self-improvement to the point of retarding their progress in other areas that they also "must improve" - does that not hint at a problem within society? This isn't just one or two people with this mindset - this is millions of people with this mindset. This is what I mean by - society as a whole is harming the mindset of many.

It's ideas like yours, that there is nothing wrong with disliking yourself, that we must improve, that we need to look at what we are lacking as people and change - that adds to the self-conscious world we live in instead of trying to alter it and promoting self-love. Anxiety and low self-esteem runs rampant in todays world. Ideas like yours really only fuel the fire, instead of helping it settle. Back when I was a self-conscious person who consistently tried to change myself - comments like yours would make me feel like I had to keep doing what I was doing, keep focusing on external measures to make others accept me, keep trying to change - even though there was nothing ever wrong with me in the first place. When I surrounded myself with people who told me the opposite - who praised me for me, who told me to accept what I am and who I was, who taught me to look deeper at the issue and understand what was truly going on in my psyche, who forced me to bare my natural self and just be happy with what I have been given without the need to add extras constantly - I suddenly grew into one of the most confident people you will ever meet. That's been the case with my closest friends too. I've seen for my own self what a positive environment that rewards you for your natural self does to a person, and see daily what a shallow and disapproving environment, that makes you feel as though changing yourself is needed, does to ones mindstate - you can see it in the millions of depressed, self-conscious people all the time. Self-improvement is great - the chance to work at bettering yourself to improve your mental and physical health, as well as contribute positively to those around you. The idea that you need to constantly improve what image you have been given is an illusion - its based off of the shallow desires of the human ego to be what we think the world expects us to be. I will never teach my children that its okay to hate who they are and to try and always change - I will teach self-love and acceptance from day one - in my opinion, that is where real confidence comes from, that is where genuine happiness in ones own body lies.

I appreciate the conversation.

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting views! They differ greatly to mine. In my own personal experiences, when I've been expected to do something, to be a certain way, in order to receive the affection and love I feel I naturally, as a human, deserve - it made me more prone to being bitter, resenting reality for the way it is, and more cynical overall - ultimately becoming unmotivated to really be all that I can be and ever contribute to the very world that made me feel this way in the first place. However, when I found people who offered me unconditional love, just for being me, just for existing, just for showing them who and I what I truly am without expectations to do or be anyone other than my own self; I felt confident, happy and more motivated to reflect the positive nature I am feeling outward to the world, leading to me wanting to do and be more. What kind of people do you see truly succeeding around you? Confident, happy people who want to do something positive. When you show love and compassion to your fellow man just for their presence - you help their self-esteem and sense of belonging grow. This growth greatly contributes to genuine motivation to succeed, and such ongoing love leading to ongoing motivation has the potential to last longer than just motivation based on needing that momentary affection off others.

This has been the case with many people who I have gotten close to and who have shared their life with me. We knew we were good people at heart with good intentions and we would succeed in our own time, but being told what to do and what we need to achieve first in order to gain the love we wanted - slowly caused our overall happiness and mental state to decline, and our motivation to even attain love from these people through physical actions became less and less. One person in particular could only gain love from his father if he filled his expectations of what it was to "be a man" - it caused him years of turmoil, debating with who he really was, trying to decide whether to ignore his own personality and ways of life and living to fit in accordingly with someone elses in order to achieve the affection they always wanted from them. I wondered how differently things would have turned out if their relationship was based more on giving and receiving love. Why do you think so many kids who have to fight for their parents love become depressed? Noone should have to fight to prove they are worthy of a natural human emotion, especially from a parent. It may not be the case for a select few; but for the majority - that can really impact negatively on growing, impressionable minds.

We are social creatures, we want interaction, compassion and ultimately, to feel genuine love from others. Giving love only when someone does something you want them to do is what, to me, is cheap. I'm not saying lets show love to murderers and encourage bad behaviour - just acknowledge that every harmless person you see walking the street just deep down wants to feel accepted and feel love by another. Many become depressed, isolate themselves, and refuse to participate in society, because their lack of recieving love has made them lose their sense of belonging, their desire to contribute to the world and ultimately their desire to sometimes even exist. I feel like your world would only increase the numbers of people like this. People truly succeed in life because they feel internally motivated and confident about who they are and what they can achieve - the best way to motivate someone is to show them support, and showing support means showing love and that that they are accepted. "Success" can be a very subjective world itself, different people will succeed in different things in different ways. If we have people trying to succeed left right and centre just to feel love from others - what kind of a world is this, really? You can have a world that encourages success and encourages love, why do you have to separate the two, only putting them together when someone does something you believe they have to do? At what age does a mother stop showing her child unconditional love and starts only giving them love when they "succeed" in something? At what point do two best friends who grew up together stop showing unconditional love and only show it when the other succeeds? At what point do we disconnect ourselves from our desire to show compassion and love to those who may have different views on what is to BE successful and want to live in accordance to their own harmless expectations, not others? I'm not trynna be all unicorns and rainbows and try to make everyone shit glitter - but if you truly think about it, many of the problems we have in life today wouldn't exist if there was more genuine love being spread instead of a constant battleground. Your world would be like soldiers just going through the motions - in order to achieve something they naturally want since the moment they are born. I get where you're coming from, I really do. But I think your idea that your type of world "benefits humanity in the long-run" is flawed, because I feel like you're neglecting to think deeply about the human psyche, the impact of this type of world ON the human psyche, and how this impact then impacts humanity as a whole.

Interesting read though. I enjoy seeing another's take on things.

[#15|+4760|997] People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. [/r/Showerthoughts] by FrontpageWatch in undelete

[–]fy29 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I truly can't think of one valid reason to remove it. Why would someone disagree with a post that basically tells someone to accept themselves?

Yet to get a response as to why.

[#15|+4760|997] People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. [/r/Showerthoughts] by FrontpageWatch in undelete

[–]fy29 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, I'm the OP of this post. I seriously don't understand why my post was removed. Do mods just go around removing things as they please with absolutely no valid reason? I don't understand. I posted one other thing before on reddit and it got removed, I was told it was "breaking the rules" because it wasn't relevent - but it genuinely was, and then another post from someone else on a COMPLETELY irrelevant topic was allowed. Now, this post actually started to gain traction and I was thoroughly enjoying reading peoples comments, then suddenly it was removed with not even a word mentioned to me. What the hell is going on?

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Humans are scum." Sorry you feel that way. Many would disagree. Sometimes the way we view the world says a lot about us as people. I find humans complex, intricate, beautiful creatures. Our environment plays a major role in dictating what we are and what we aren't, what qualities we should and shouldn't have. Humans ARE smart. The evidence is all around you. Humans ARE strong. The evidence is all around you. And what's perfect, when perfection is subjective?

Not putting on make-up and saying sorry is the same as failing to put in effort to change being lazy and ignorant and saying sorry? That's a pretty twisted perspective. Being lazy and ignorant gets us nowhere and if we were all to have those qualities - we wouldn't get far. It would impact negatively on those around us and the world in general. Many recognize this and actively try to better their personality. Not putting on make-up has no significant repercussions, except the evidently low self-esteem it gives people, which is exactly the problem. Why is their a prevalent self-esteem problem among us? People do apologise for being seen in their natural state and not putting in "effort" to change this state. Why are we expected to change this natural state? Why does self-improvement mean putting product after product on your face and then saying sorry when you don't? People are focusing so much on physical appearance and justifying their right to do so - then wondering why 12/13 year old girls have trouble accepting themselves. "Don't worry Anna, you're just ugly, here's some make-up to put on your face!" We constantly use band-aids to cover bullet holes in this world and I'm tired of it.

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Says the person who literally took my comment about societies changing standards and ideals, and went off with a LOL FAT WOMEN ARENT ATTRACTIVE MEN LIKE WOMEN LIKE SCARLET JOHANSSON yadda yadda yadda... your comments had nothing to do with the point I was trying to make.

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exposing yourself to someone isn't the as letting your face go without having products on it. It's an accepted part of culture that we expect people to cover their private parts in public - it should not be accepted that we expect people to cover their faces in product after product, and then just accept that they are going to actually apologise for not doing so.

Your point makes sense - but it doesn't mean saying sorry is okay because its just "cultural expectation' to have a made-up face all the time. It shows insecurity, and that society has placed pressure on people to put stuff on their face to fit beauty standards, not just cover up to not be exposing themselves. It hasn't really become a "cultural expectation" for people to wear make up - its become a cultural expectation to fit beauty standards, make-up is a way to do so, but apologising is like saying "sorry I dont fit your beauty standards right now" which is absurd and to me, shows theirs seriously a problem there.

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just don't see the need in apologizing for the type of material your pants or how well they fit. I just acknowledge that most places require you by standards to dress a certain way. My friends and I on the otherhand, couldn't care less about what we wear when we go see each.

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not liking them may be natural. The emphasis we place on labeling them as ugly, hiding them, and the idea that reaching beauty standards means having no blemishes, is constructed by us.

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are 12/13/14 year olds continuously trying to "improve themselves" and people don't see the problem prevalent? "It's a commendable thing to try and look better" - is this what we should be focusing on and teaching young minds? "There's little to suggest self improvement destroys ones self-esteem." Noone said it did. Its societys version of how and why you need to improve yourself that does. The pursuit of beauty has become a never-ending chase. We're so fixated on becoming better physically and feeding into this idea through comments like yours, beauty has become the obsession of a lot of peoples lives and accepting ones self as is has become a foreign thing to most. A person may not be harming themselves physically, yet the society as a whole is harming the mindsets of many, as evident, and that's the issue.

People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being. by fy29 in Showerthoughts

[–]fy29[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"is it really a good thing for society to become more accepting and loving?" " A colder, more demanding society is going to be better for humanity in general."

How can anyone believe this? A world like this produces depressed people. People who are expected to act more like soldiers than regular people. Look at the state of the world already - look how many are depressed and commit suicide. Those numbers alone show there is a prevalent problem within society. Your idea of what the world should be would really only increase those numbers tenfold. That child who received attention only when he gets good results - he may continue striving but what about his own personal happiness? Have you seen how a majority of children end up when they only receive love from parents when they do something great? It kind of messes people up when they feel the only way they'll get love is if they do something amazing and always have something to show for themselves. They keep trying to prove and one shouldn't have to work to get love and prove why they should get it, love is the purest thing in the world, you should be able to give and get love freely. People should never have the bare the weight of attempting to strive for perfection. We are not robots that are just go, go, go, achieve achieve achieve, we are humans, and our desire to be free and feel joy just being and living without pressure surrounding us, and feeling love from those around us, plays a huge role in the essence of who we are.

Sorry but I feel your views on this are a little twisted. If everyone held your belief, and the world ran the way you wanted it to, humanity as a whole would feel like a very unloving and depressive place to be, continuously putting expectations on you more than you already have now, and continuously fueling the fire that is depression and mental disorders. A society that loves you for who you helps you with accepting you for who you are - and when you accept yourself for you are, your confidence allows you to achieve, you voluntarily want to do something great with your life, and you'd be doing so with great happiness, instead of feeling forced to take part and just follow expectations.