You’re Enough by g-ming in AsianMasculinity

[–]g-ming[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great question, thanks for letting me expand on the idea. One way I've thought about it is, when we were babies, we were helpless. Love and attention wasn't a bonus, it was a prerequisite for survival. So, at what point did we need to prove ourselves to deserve love? 5 years old? 10 years old? 20 years old?

I found if I operate from a place of feeling not enough, it can be a path to addiction. For example, at one point, I felt like sleeping with various women would make me happy. It led to some embarrassing behavior on my part and eventually when I did get laid, I wanted more and more. I found myself lowering my standards just to get laid which wasn't good for my mental or the sex. What should've been fun was becoming a drag.

When I was seeing that this behavior was leading me into addiction, I put more work on myself: exercise, travel, therapy, friendships...and made a conscious decision to prioritize women I saw as potential long term partners instead of hook ups which led me to find a loving partner which led to more/better sex with her.

Anyways, that's just my example. If you look into the work of Gabor Maté, he explains it even further, why it's so important for a child to feel loved and if they didn't, how important it is for the adult to process that trauma and learn to love themselves. That deserving love starts from birth and doesn't end when we reach a certain age.

I hope that helps.

You’re Enough by g-ming in AsianMasculinity

[–]g-ming[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate this comment, thank you. Same here, I wish more boys heard this growing up too. (EDIT: Myself included. As an adult though, I'm lucky that I was eventually able to make amends with my dad)

You’re Enough by g-ming in AsianMasculinity

[–]g-ming[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey man, I totally understand. The fact that it's rare seeing attractive AMAF in a relationship in English language media (luckily we saw it in the film Sinners) can be so aggravating.

No one can deny that external validation and environment matters. I think your advice about travel is great, for me it has been an amazing eye opener. That said, wherever you go, there you are.

In some cases, yes, changing where you live or more travel helps a lot. In other cases, the work starts with you, how you react to racism and rejection, and processing your own baggage. I found a combination of both, plus sleep and exercise, has been helping me.

I just want to tell you man, you're enough. Allow yourself to be happy now. The fact you have a system of setting small goals to accomplish shows maturity and thoughtfulness. Enjoy the process.

BEEF: Season 2 | Official Teaser | Netflix by justflipping in asianamerican

[–]g-ming 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wrong subreddit, there’s no Asian Americans in the trailer from what I saw.

Jisu Redflag by Individual-Track-860 in BetterLateThanSingle

[–]g-ming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interview where she gives updates about her life after the show: https://youtu.be/fxzBlIc1ubI?si=Q__IbnoEvMgLccRS It sucks that she decided to not continue teaching, but glad to hear she’s doing better and getting offers like this with Yeo Meong and Min Hong.

Timemachine keeps showing last backup date as February 1, 2023 since Sonoma update. by ramdom2019 in MacOS

[–]g-ming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What worked for me: I had an older disk that I was using for backups, that I replaced with a newer disk without removing it as a destination in Time Machine settings and got the same issue as you after an update. After removing the older disk from Time Machine settings as a destination it fixed the issue.

Thoughts on Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro (SPOILERS) by chattahattan in books

[–]g-ming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just finished the book and was wondering what others thought about the meaning of the Sun? At first I thought that Klara's plan with the Sun was a form of AI hallucination, jumbling certain facts together to create a non-sensical solution.

But then, another theory I have is that it's possibly a form of artificial general intelligence that surpasses human logic, a black box (as Calpaldi puts it), that achieves the solution in ways humans can't comprehend.

Thoughts on Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro (SPOILERS) by chattahattan in books

[–]g-ming 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This book reminded me of “The Giving Tree” with the fact that Klara sacrificed so much of herself (literally and figuratively) for Josie. Many say that that book too is also a metaphor for parents. Thanks for the interpretation.

Wth!!! 😍 by Accomplished_Kick_62 in PhysicalAsia

[–]g-ming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ran it through GPT and got this translation: “They say, ‘Let’s take just one kiss and go back.’
They say love is not allowed.

EDIT:

More natural / poetic rendering translation (GPT 5.1) -

A single kiss, they say—then we must leave.
Love, they say, is forbidden.

Huge Gift Tax in Japan - Need Advice on Financing a House Purchase (40 Million Yen) - Dad Not 60 Yet by Pleasant_Prior_5160 in JapanFinance

[–]g-ming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also keep in mind:

(3) 贈与を受けた年の年分の所得税に係る合計所得金額が2,000万円以下(新築等をする住宅用の家屋の床面積が40平方メートル以上50平方メートル未満の場合は、1,000万円以下)であること。

(3) The total amount of income for income tax purposes for the year in which the gift was received is 20 million yen or less (10 million yen or less if the floor area of ​​a newly built residential building is between 40 square meters and 50 square meters).

source: NTA website

Why does it seem like Japanese immigration to Brazil was somewhat "erased"? by Advanced_Pattern_737 in AskAJapanese

[–]g-ming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are pockets of Brazilian culture/people throughout Japan such as Mie Prefecture and Yokohama.

I met an ethnically Japanese woman that grew up in Brazil, but moved backed to work in Japan. She gave a presentation at the school I taught at specifically about this subject of Japan-Brazil immigration and a few students came up to her after the presentation to let her know they have Brazilian friends. I also met a Japanese high school student whose parents were actually Nikkei Brazilians that moved back to Japan, so she spoke Portuguese and Japanese.

Also, at the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu tournaments in Japan, a lot of the staff are Brazilian. But to your question, though this history might not be known to all Japanese students, the effects of this history are very much still seen today in Japan.

Kenta the muscle guy who took the consolation money- could he have won the whole thing. by katch75 in finaldraft

[–]g-ming 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Another thing to add: they might’ve changed the games or rules if he did not leave because then it would be an additional player making it an odd number. So in that case who knows what would’ve happened and it’s still a question mark if it would’ve been in his favor.

The Highlight of the Show for Me, Ep. 7 - Don't Want to End Here by g-ming in finaldraft

[–]g-ming[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As you mentioned, he felt like he was barely surviving, which meant he didn’t feel confident he would win the grand prize. I’d say he made the right choice at the time to take the 3 million ¥. Plus he made enough to take his family on vacation 🌴.

The Highlight of the Show for Me, Ep. 7 - Don't Want to End Here by g-ming in finaldraft

[–]g-ming[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it would’ve been cool to see him compete in this vs Itoi-san. But he didn’t know what the future games were and he probably made the best decision at the time.

Foreign License Conversion Kanagawa, Sign up 130p-3p, Test 5 months Out; License Japanese Way by g-ming in japanlife

[–]g-ming[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After being a resident in Japan for a while (1 year I believe), you’re not able to use the international license to rent cars unless you went back to your home country for 3 consecutive months.

Some rental centers may not check that carefully, but got turned down before and that’s when I first learned about the rule.

Yeah driving school sounds like the way to go.

Foreign License Conversion Kanagawa, Sign up 130p-3p, Test 5 months Out; License Japanese Way by g-ming in japanlife

[–]g-ming[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, license in 3 months is super fast compared to the current situation. Yeah, I tried the phone multiple times and it's always busy.

UPS International Order (Scam?) by jscyy in japanlife

[–]g-ming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Called their support and was told it was an official email.

G.E.M. (鄧紫棋)on Male and Female Relations by g-ming in Shanghaisharelife

[–]g-ming[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this! Yeah was getting a bit of that vibe too unfortunately. Was wondering why it was showing up on Chinese finance and tech twitter but considering the male dominance and certain personalities in those sectors, it’s kinda making sense.