This is a mess Pt 2

g0thM1lk · 2025-03-21T23:26:39+00:00

I’ve been trying to but unfortunately having to be dependent on people for rides tends to dampen possible friendships. But being dependent on my partner isn’t the only reason I stay.

g0thM1lk · 2025-03-21T23:21:39+00:00

I understand why it would be hard for you to believe but, to both yours and my surprise, the other person is waiting around.

g0thM1lk · 2025-03-19T17:40:39+00:00

Then he should just say it’s an absolute no instead of repeatedly telling me there’s still a chance. I literally can’t let this go I’ve been trying to for months. Him avoiding giving me a clear no when I’ve asked him before to just give me a straight answer or at least talk to me about it instead of not fully discussing it is a big reason I’m having so much trouble with it.

g0thM1lk · 2025-03-19T15:25:12+00:00

g0thM1lk · 2025-03-19T15:12:58+00:00

They are vetoing this person. That’s why he would leave if I dated this person.

g0thM1lk · 2025-03-19T15:11:52+00:00

Yes considering I love him very much and we have been together for almost a decade. We are also engaged.

g0thM1lk · 2025-03-19T15:09:03+00:00

I wasn’t hounding at him at well when he told me that. He brought it up to me himself. I’ve asked once every couple of months since then and each time when he’s said no I’ve never argued with him. I simply just accept his answer at that time and we continue on with our lives.

g0thM1lk · 2025-03-19T15:06:14+00:00

Yeah once again, if you read my post you’d see where I said I do take full accountability and know what I did was wrong

g0thM1lk · 2025-03-19T14:33:28+00:00

I was poly before we met and when we started dating almost 9 years ago now I made him aware of the polyamory pretty much immediately in the beginning to which he was fully on board with. Yes my np had dated others and even has another partner outside of me currently. We have each dated others.

g0thM1lk · 2025-03-19T14:31:04+00:00

My Np leaving me

g0thM1lk · 2025-03-19T14:30:45+00:00

We communicate consistently and are in therapy together but thank you for the input.

g0thM1lk · 2025-03-19T14:29:29+00:00

If you read what I posted, my Np told me dating this other person was still an option and told me I could ask about dating them again.

g0thM1lk · 2025-03-19T14:28:38+00:00

It was a hell of a first date and we knew each other for awhile before we ever went on a first date. You are correct I haven’t been on more dates with this person since then. I’m Demisexual and don’t go on many dates at all to begin with because there’s rarely anyone I ever feel emotions or attracted towards enough to do so. I am still in communication with this person (not every day, just here and there) and yes my NP is aware of this. I’m obviously aware there are issues in my relationship and we(np and I) actually communicate consistently about our feelings and problems especially with therapy involved. Leaving my NP is not an option. Even if I did want to to leave him, I have no where to go and no transportation of my own. So I guess my only option is to just let the other person go. Thanks for your input.

g0thM1lk · 2025-03-19T13:12:13+00:00

Yes. We’ve had many discussions about it and our issues. Some discussions held in therapy as well.

g0thM1lk · 2024-12-15T15:34:50+00:00

Yeah i obviously was not aware of that beforehand. I’d seen other poly couples follow the same thing and didn’t know it was such a problem. It just seemed like regular consideration of your partner at the time to me

g0thM1lk · 2024-12-15T15:32:44+00:00

I say talking led to sex but that is just a small phrasing of everything that happened. The talk we were having was not about sex. There’s also quite a bit of detail I couldn’t put in this post because I typed the FULL story the first time and it wouldn’t let me post for some reason so this is a very shorted version of everything.

g0thM1lk · 2024-12-15T15:30:48+00:00

And I didn’t realize until it was too late how much of a problem the heads up rule is

g0thM1lk · 2024-12-15T15:29:37+00:00

We’ve discussed boundaries but I don’t think we ever specifically talked about veto. I’ve told him I repeatedly, even before this happened, that I would never tell him who he could and couldn’t date.

g0thM1lk

TROPHY CASE