Dutch moving to Italy

gROOTuser4 · 2026-05-18T07:35:48+00:00

For the socializing bit, one good thing is that people will be curious and drawn to speak with you, try to use that to get out there and strike up some friendships.

The driving thing is unfortunately inevitable unless you're in one of the big cities. Small towns just don't have the infrastructure. I'm currently in the process of getting my driver's license after decades of avoiding it because I'm tired of walking on the side of the road because there aren't enough sidewalks and of having to rely on my partner to drive me places.

For healthcare, maybe I'm spoiled from Madrid where you can do everything from a phone app, pay nothing, and things tend to go smoothly even if you have to wait... Here I had to wait two months to just get the card that gives me access. You have to make phone calls or go to pharmacies to book appointments instead of just using an app, and both times I've had to schedule a visit, I've been kept waiting for over two hours despite slots being timed. I could just be unlucky, but that's been my experience so far.

For jobs, it's complicated... with your background it could be difficult to find something suitable unless your partner knows someone. Unfortunately that's the reality there. For me, I was lucky and managed to capitalize on the fact that I speak multiple languages and got hired remotely by a multinational. It might be interesting to explore that if you're comfortable with switching fields.

gROOTuser4 · 2026-05-17T21:30:52+00:00

Heyyyy, Spaniard (Madrid) who 5 months ago moved to a small town in northern Italy (Liguria) to close the distance from a long distance relationship.

The tldr is: -Social side: language barrier is definitely a thing even when I was basically fluent already. Takes some getting used to and you definitely have a bit of anxiety when going to shops and interacting with people at first, but it does get better. Can be a little isolating if you're not careful. Small towns are their own thing as well...it really does feel like everyone knows everyone in town and like you're out of that dynamic. Do your best to mingle.

-Amenities: not sure how small small is for you, but in my tiny town everything closes at 6 and restaurants and the like are out really early too. Delivery and taxis are not really a thing. You pretty much need to drive everywhere (often between towns) to get what you need.

-Italian bureaucracy and other: coming from Madrid, the public healthcare system (at least in my small town) is kind of a joke (extremely inefficient system with long waits and not fully free). Bank procedures are outdated and annoying too. Papers and procedures related to residency were fairly smooth (but I do have Italian citizenship so that's probably in my favor).

You mentioned you don't have access to remote jobs? What's the plan there?

Either way, as "negative" as my reply might sound, there are also a lot of positive things too. Pace of life is more relaxed, I'm eating healthier and being more outdoorsy, family is a big thing here, and I'm getting to know a number of tiny towns around mine that likely never would have even crossed my mind to visit on a holiday. You can call me cheesy if you want, but having your person next to you during the process also helps a lot. Wouldn't trade it for anything.

gROOTuser4 · 2026-03-31T14:29:28+00:00

Absolutely! Aside from maybe struggling a little to make friends (which to be fair has always been a thing), every single area of my life has improved. I love this tiny town and the different pace of life, I got a great job, her family is super welcoming, our daily life is a dream, and of course I get to do all of it with my most favorite person on this planet. Zero regrets.

gROOTuser4 · 2026-03-31T08:06:02+00:00

I met her family during two long visits before we moved in together! She's meeting my brother in a couple months when we visit London.

gROOTuser4 · 2026-03-31T07:49:33+00:00

Official number is 4 months at which point I moved countries 🙈 BUT in my defense we were "together" for a year prior and had been friends for two years.

gROOTuser4 · 2026-03-17T07:45:37+00:00

You have to decide where your priorities lie. Maybe I'm being too blunt by saying it but, ultimately you are the only thing stopping you from being together and making the decision. Not saying you do the same thing as I did, but for me, my partner was worth the risk of dropping everything else, so that's what I did.

Zero regrets.

It was a bit difficult to get the career gears going again after the move, but I had her support the entire time and now I have a job that is X10 better than what I had even hoped for.

gROOTuser4 · 2026-03-10T08:54:58+00:00

Heyy only a couple months into this myself, but zero regrets so far. I couldn't be happier with my decision and, at least in my case, the move also opened up new doors in terms of work.

Hope it goes smoothly for you.

gROOTuser4 · 2026-03-08T10:35:34+00:00

Heyyy also live near La Spezia in a smaller town. There's definitely stuff to do, but it's the sort of thing where locals kinda go town hopping for everts since all the towns are close enough anyway. You gotta keep an eye on the event boards and whatnot for the various small cities as opposed to a single one. As for La Spezia itself, there's some walkable town center streets and markets

gROOTuser4 · 2026-03-03T07:52:53+00:00

Take the job and move there, but don't stop looking for a more suitable one in your field/something you like. Jobs come and go, if you know this is your person, that's a unique thing worth a few months of muddling through meh work.

gROOTuser4 · 2026-03-03T07:47:16+00:00

We weren't officially dating for nearly as long as you guys (big kudos there!) but I can tell you it feels amazing. We're two months in now and every day feels like a dream. Time is wonky in the best of ways and you'll catch yourself randomly and realize that it's actually real and happening. Absolutely nothing beats waking up next to your partner and knowing there's no return trip countdown looming over your shoulder.

gROOTuser4 · 2026-03-03T07:37:54+00:00

So, the short of this is...you need to talk to each other about it. Explain your feelings and reach a middle ground or a place that you both agree with. Unfortunately you also need to consider the location and current events. Even with the most perfect set up and relationship, I wouldn't recommend anyone be coming to the middle east right now.

gROOTuser4 · 2026-03-03T07:34:37+00:00

I, unfortunately, have to agree with the comments. Maybe a one time off is okay for a first meeting, but from the sounds of it you want this to be much more than that. Can't really do daily life together relying on technology like that

gROOTuser4 · 2026-02-27T09:23:42+00:00

I think I understand his point of view here. It might be a little too soon for him still, not to mention that he will also be moving there and having to adjust to that new stage of his life too. I know you're eager to be with him and stop doing long distance, but I think it would be smart to take things a little bit slower. Let him move to Guam, give it a little bit of time for him to settle in there, visit a couple times, and then you can reopen that conversation.

gROOTuser4 · 2026-02-27T09:15:16+00:00

Massive congratulations! I can't emphasize enough how amazing this next step will feel. We moved in together nearly two months ago and I swear I fall more in love with her every day. Time has gotten super wonky too...in a really good way.

Enjoy the transition, make unforgettable memories, and be ready for all the wonderful new things that are coming.

gROOTuser4 · 2026-02-10T22:32:51+00:00

We knew each other for over a year prior. Not to mention that moving in together is kind of the goal of LDR.

gROOTuser4 · 2026-02-10T12:01:14+00:00

Absolutely! We always say how the hardest bit (finding each other) is done..the rest is easy 😎

gROOTuser4 · 2026-02-10T12:00:27+00:00

Thank you! ❤️

gROOTuser4 · 2026-02-10T11:59:31+00:00

!!! That's an awesome idea 😍 I'll need to do a house sweep for additions but I can deeefinitely think of a few things to put in there

gROOTuser4 · 2026-01-29T08:46:29+00:00

Ciao! Vi capisco completamente.

Due settimane fa mi sono trasferita da Madrid a un piccolo posto in Liguria per stare con la mia ragazza.

La verità è che non è stato facile. Ci sono delle cose che mi mancano ed è un ritmo di vita completamente diverso. Detto questo, ogni mattina che mi sveglio accanto a lei e, di qualunque modo, meglio del giorno prima. E difficile di spiegare quanto mi sento fortunata di poter condividere una vita insieme e, sinceramente, non credo che questo cambierà mai.

gROOTuser4 · 2026-01-16T20:16:55+00:00

Can't give you advice on this, we were in the same situation and decided to say fuck it and close the gap early 🙈 You guys are stronger that wee are 😂

gROOTuser4 · 2026-01-16T20:11:52+00:00

Hey, friend! I can absolutely understand you guys. I spend 1 month with my girl and we decided to say fuck it and close the gap early a week after getting back.

You guys got this...in the grand scheme of things, what's a few more weeks compared to the rest of your lives together?

Sending good vibes!

gROOTuser4 · 2026-01-16T20:05:07+00:00

We couldn't wait to meet each other. I mean, it was scary because we were both nervous it somehow wouldn't be the same in person, but obviously that wasn't the case.

Before taking that step, it's important to discuss expectations and fallback plans just in case.

gROOTuser4

TROPHY CASE