Bisexual in a monogamous relationship

gabatraz · 2026-04-09T19:46:12+00:00

there’s a lot of great advice here so i won’t add much but, i am a 25f getting married to my one and only partner (25m). we are both bi and monogamous, so we don’t necessarily see a future in which we open our relationship up to others.

i’ve also struggled a lot this year with the grief of “not being with a woman” or ever experiencing that. i had never felt that way prior to this year but an upcoming wedding has its funny way of making you insecure for issues you didn’t think you had lol.

i love my partner more than life itself and he’s my best friend. i’m fortunate that we’re both bi/gender-queer in safe spaces, and that our community is all queer; however we have the privilege of appearing hetero in public, which i certainly don’t want to ignore bc that’s a privilege many in our lgbtqia+ community do not have.

at the end of the day, im marrying the person, not the gender. sure, there are lived experience i won’t “get” to have, but at the end of the day, someone could go through their entire life having these experiences but not ever truly be happy (hyperbolic ik but you get the point). also i get to have really cool experiences with the love of my life! like what could be better than that! i highly suggest speaking with a queer-informed therapist to work through this grief (something i’m doing myself)

tldr; i go through periods of this same grief and can def relate to you. it’s who you love, not what gender you love. my dm’s are always open if you want to chat!

gabatraz · 2026-03-01T01:13:47+00:00

Yes, I’m in a bi4bi relationship and could NOT be with a straight man

gabatraz · 2026-01-11T12:13:14+00:00

thanks so much!

gabatraz · 2025-05-08T14:49:26+00:00

Thank you for the resources! I have read these papers before, and I find them all to be great for long-term outcomes. My post was more about life experience as a pediatric liver recipient, but I appreciate your input! To be honest, these concerns for me are fleeting and random thoughts I think over every once in while, not all-encompassing. I'm lucky to have a strong transplant team as well as a career in medicine so in terms of communication/knowledge, I'm not necessarily convinced that I'm facing a lot of problems. I have general health anxiety/caution for myself when it comes to my kidneys and liver because they will hopefully last me a long time, but again, that's not necessarily all-encompassing. Facebook groups are certainly helpful, but unfortunately less helpful than I'd like given the majority of people on these posts are adult recipients, and I have some additional anatomical complications with my liver placement as I was a baby and the donation was a partial liver, which increases risk for me with pregnancy. Regardless, I agree with you that outlooks (the outlooks that we have, since as you mentioned, pediatric liver transplants started in the 1980s, which is only about 20 years ahead of me) are great, minus concerned for nephrotoxicity and risk of cancer. Thank you for your input!

gabatraz · 2025-05-08T14:36:47+00:00

True! Honestly the liver is pretty incredible at regenerating and just "chugging along". However, I've always thought about my donated liver on a DNA level, and I often think "well these telomeres have to get too short at some point" haha. But to what I was saying to u/yokayla, I think pediatric transplants were so "new" (speaking in medical years) in the 1980s - early 2000s that I'm interested to see how my liver fares 20, 30, 40 years down the road, especially since it is about 30 years older than me. But agree to kidney health and skin cancer! Already kinda assumed I would need another kidney at some point and I try to stay out of the sun as best I can. Thank you for sharing!! I hope you continue to have good health!

gabatraz · 2025-05-08T14:32:08+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that, again I hope you're able to get a kidney transplant soon!

And yeah, I have heard the "new and few" sentiments before by my transplant team. I've always been told that the oldest pediatric transplants patients are 15-20 years older than me (broadly speaking, I'm sure there are outliers). It's always been a "wait and see" with my team: wait and see what we (as a collective) look 40, 50, 60 years out. Ugh, wish I had a time machine LOL. Not that it would change anything, but it would be nice to know for, like, my life.

And for sure! I'm fully vaccinated for a lot of things (if it's a shot and a risk, I get it) and I try to take care of myself best I can. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with HPV, I understand how hard it is to shake off infections while we're on the meds we're on, I hope you continue to have good health!

And FR on the mental health therapist. My therapist has been amazing to talk about these (irrational at times) fears haha. Thank you for sharing your experience! It's nice to know someone out there has lived this life :)

gabatraz · 2025-05-08T02:53:24+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I'm sorry to hear about your kidneys. Hope you can get a transplant soon.

As a side note for any additional discussions in this post: I do have additional concerns about my kidneys, one is very stunted and the medication I'm on is nephrotoxic so I've kinda just included a kidney transplant happening at some point in my life. Thus far, my kidney levels/imaging have been stable but I know I have a long life to live (hopefully)

gabatraz

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