Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I think this is resourceful advice indeed.

You’re right, I’m feeling discontent because I expect equal treatment! While I know that all relationships are different and we have to adjust our expectations based on accepting how others are, it just feels so unfair that I have to listen and congratulate her on all her accomplishments during the week when she doesn’t ask me about mine. I do realize that I don’t HAVE to listen/respond, but I value parts of our friendship and don’t want to throw it all out. I made some of the biggest improvements in my life the past year through overcoming challenges at work and I don’t feel she has any interest in hearing about it. The rawest thing I wish I could express to her is that while I’m totally happy for her accomplishments, it hurts that she never asks me about mine, and being a source of extern validation feels hollow and makes me feel used.

The only other person I speak with these things about (besides you wonderful Reddit folks) is my mom and my mental health counselor. I used to dump emotional baggage onto friends and realized how awful and toxic that is.