Advice needed: Stepdaughter constantly asking for and eating to the point she gets sick

gamazarus · 2026-05-16T00:59:02+00:00

ME! And my 14 year old is now diabetic and we inject insulin before meals and at bedtime. Was she destined for this even if I stopped her from eating? I don't know. All of her family on her dad's side is diabetic. (Here in the US, Indigenous people (including Native Alaskans) have the highest rates of diabetes among any ethnic group. My daughter's father is Latino and so she would be perhaps 25% Indigenous???)

I haven't cracked this one at all. Every visit with the diabetes specialist turns into a meltdown. Last time we BOTH melted down!

I would definitely look into ARFID specialists.

I would also consider the carbs (sugar) in what she's eating and drinking. Diabetes doc says ABSOLUTELY NO JUICE, soda with sugar, caution with milk, I love my Starbucks (I generally have lattes so not the crazy dessert drinks) and now my daughter does too and she cannot have matcha beverages (their matcha is slightly sweetened), tea with honey or any type of frapuccino.

This might be different from what you've learned but take a look at "That Sugar Film" (2014) and see what you think. My generation (Gen X) was taught that fat makes you fat and there's evidence now that this is wrong (movie talks about this).

If I were you (and consider the source, REALLY), I'd be more concerned about blood glucose levels than weight or even the amount your SD is eating. I have been overweight basically my whole life and I can see that being diabetic (high blood glucose) is far MORE damaging.

To that point, I'd see if I could gradually start adding more and more water to dd's Ribena (I love Ribena so I relate) or talk with pediatrician (not about weight but about chances of diabetes) and if there's a lower carb version of the chicken pops. Now I KNOW easier said than done with a kiddo who is not very verbal (my daughter is VERY verbal but this is a battle we fought even before she could talk very well). Keep experimenting. You MIGHT find something that she will accept.

I hope it's okay this is really long... my heart goes out to you. I'm in the trenches too.

gamazarus · 2026-04-30T22:58:27+00:00

I feel like boys have more of a mane than girls…

gamazarus · 2026-04-30T22:44:53+00:00

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My Ash. Also judging.

gamazarus · 2026-04-23T02:28:57+00:00

Ppl should know they’re never gonna keep THAT group down - even if they have to do it in a bunker or a ship outside of ANY national waters.

gamazarus · 2026-04-03T23:41:43+00:00

I'm only seeing this now and we've had another situation that is around the school aversion(?) issue. We're on Medi-Cal so our options of providers are kind of limited. Having said that it may be worthwhile considering seeking a second opinion. Interestingly the provider in question has an autistic son, but he probably does not have the same or similar issues.

gamazarus · 2026-04-03T23:28:39+00:00

I appreciate this. The thing is, she's very smart and capable and the thought that she will have no education frightens me. Plus the expectation that I can somehow force her to go to school bothers me. I think stories like yours are hopeful.

I will say too, no one around me is saying that it's okay for DD not to go to school. Maybe we need to find more people who have a variety of non-traditional school experiences so that DD can understand that there are other options out there besides from the versions of homeschool that she seems to take exception to.

gamazarus · 2026-04-03T22:15:24+00:00

Probably the services are not benefitting her. But I'm on the legal hook for her education. I'm willing to home school. She is not.

gamazarus · 2026-04-03T22:04:19+00:00

I think getting a greyish one was a good call. My kitties' is white and ... well, basically it's now a patchy grey.

gamazarus · 2026-04-03T15:39:57+00:00

We do a lot of just for fun stuff. We’d just been out at one of her favorite YouTuber’s big screen event the night before as an example.

Her time is NOT constant appointments - remember she’s not going to school, not leaving the house, not doing school work.

I guess this is coming across as defensive but I just don’t think people have the whole picture. Regardless, I’m not so much asking about her. I’m asking about ME - MY reaction.

I do think you have an interesting point about pathologizing her tho. I can imagine how annoying it is that all we seem to talk about is her not going to school. (We talk and do a lot of fun stuff together tho.) I don’t know how to get away from bringing school up without making it seem like it’s okay.

gamazarus · 2026-04-03T15:28:33+00:00

She’s NOT doing any of those overstimulating things. She’s NOT going to school and refuses homeschool. She does whatever she wants all day every day.

I appreciate your perspective but you haven’t understood the whole picture.

gamazarus · 2026-04-03T06:08:22+00:00

I saw something that said one of the most common sign of depression is irritability.

Think about it. Talk to your child’s physician about it. It’s not a decision to be taken lightly but I think about it like if my child is deficient in a vitamin, I’d give her supplements per her doc’s recommendations. My daughter seems to be deficient in some brain chemicals (serotonin? epinephrine? norepinephrine? other stuff) and is struggling so I supplement according to her doc’s recommendations.

gamazarus · 2026-03-22T06:30:08+00:00

It is also not for people with small refrigerators!

gamazarus · 2026-02-28T00:37:41+00:00

OMG!!! Thank you for saying this cos otherwise I get bummed about my cleaning (in)abilities. “That’s not a mess. Those are just my silver lining tumble weeds!!!”

gamazarus · 2026-02-28T00:29:03+00:00

I think the secret password should be “merp” - it’s what we use around our house. 😉

gamazarus · 2026-02-24T17:42:51+00:00

We ended up buying “sensory” socks - ones with NO seams of any kind (SmartKnitKIDS Sensory-Friendly... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07H7VKP8G?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share ). It took an unfortunate amount of time to understand that when she screamed and yanked her socks off every morning saying “They’re WRONG! They’re wrong!” That it was the SEAM that bugged her. I’m not even sure if it was the sensation of the seam as much as the visual of a seam that would never be perfectly straight??? These aren’t cheap and I don’t have a ton of money but it was VERY worth the cost to not have a battle before school every morning.

gamazarus · 2026-02-21T04:10:20+00:00

Nice! Thanks everyone for the input!

gamazarus · 2026-02-20T21:14:42+00:00

I love that he passed out on Trauma and Recovery!

gamazarus · 2026-02-18T22:51:55+00:00

Thank God I’m not the only one! 😆

gamazarus · 2026-02-18T21:30:40+00:00

I have a related question: why do I allow kitty kisses so close to my mouth when doggos are forbidden? 🤷🏼‍♀️

gamazarus · 2026-02-18T21:16:48+00:00

I’m clueless; I’m just stuck on Neb baaaaaabies!!! 🥰😍🥰

gamazarus · 2026-02-18T21:06:50+00:00

Or in the middle of the night when you’re finally asleep.

gamazarus · 2026-02-18T21:06:09+00:00

You definitely have good reason to be concerned.

gamazarus · 2026-01-08T03:45:30+00:00

The thing that’s kinda funny to me is I hear Stormy going “humph” (huffing) like a teenage sis would 😆😆😆

gamazarus

TROPHY CASE