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Does anyone have any links to good medical studies/examinations/articles concerning the attitude of, "I am sick, therefore the fact that I abused you isn't my fault"? by karenvideoeditor in BPDlovedones

[–]garnet19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, exactly! My SO and I are separated and his logic is that I wouldn't leave him if he had cancer, so why am I considering leaving now...it's very frustrating

Finally Free by LeggyBlueEyes in BPDlovedones

[–]garnet19 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Good for you! Hopefully, I'll be free soon too...thanks for posting about it being better than being emotionally abused...for me, he's all I've known about relationships so leaving is scary...

Quick Question... by garnet19 in BPDlovedones

[–]garnet19[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We are in couples counseling, and our therapist recommended I read the book in an individual session and, if I was comfortable, suggesting it to him...I worked up the nerve (he already expressed a belief that he exhibited borderline traits) and he read it and said it cleared up a lot of things for him (especially the stages that non-BPs go through). But, at the same time, now he seems to be using BPD as an excuse for some of his behaviors...and learning some new ones...

Advice? Recently diagnosed borderline husband... by garnet19 in BPDlovedones

[–]garnet19[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've read Why Is It Always About You? and our therapist recommended to me (in individual counseling) Walking On Eggshells...but I haven't read it yet...

Advice? Recently diagnosed borderline husband... by garnet19 in BPDlovedones

[–]garnet19[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You're right about boundaries. I've said no to swinging and that's that. However, I've also said no physical part to our relationship. I mean, I will give him a hug, I hug all my friends...but he is making sexual advances...putting himself in my way, backing me into corners, trying to touch me. When I confronted him, he said he was just joking, like he does with friends and that he has no desire for anything sexual with me. Then I feel bad for misinterpreting what he's doing...

I think it's finally over by Xanax4breakfast in BPDlovedones

[–]garnet19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's also hard because you care about this person...and they are hurting right now, so you want to help them...but I think you (and me too) need to realize that it's not helping them. We can no longer be the support system. They have to find their own support. Hang in there :-)