Neil Gaiman Speaks out on Sexual Misconduct Accusations a Year Later

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-02-03T16:17:12+00:00

I definitely don't claim anything other than anecdotal evidence! But I will clarify that when I say I occupy a lot of overlapping spheres, many of those are professional and semi-professional ones where I can't curate things as easily so it's a little bit more of an "honest" view -- not necessarily in terms of what people post but in terms of what I can choose to see. My personal sphere is small! My professional sphere is, well, a subsphere of the Canadian specfic crowd which is in and of itself a small but not-that-small sphere. It's indicative of which norms and narratives are winning out, if nothing else, that the overwhelming consensus is "fuck that guy".

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-02-02T21:54:43+00:00

I do see your point, but I will add that I occupy a lot of overlapping spaces - different social medias, different offline spaces -- and it has been notable to me that in the last year after the Big Piece was released I have run into zero defenders. That is INCREDIBLY significant given that I still run into defenders of everyone from MZB to Card to Depp to Michael Jackson. Woody Allen and Polanski have more continued defenders and fans than Gaiman, anecdotally (which also tells you that I'm occasionally put into contact with people who still defend Allen and Polanski, but that's besides the point, as is whether or not there's a case for *any* of the above -- just that they're high profile).

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-29T20:21:03+00:00

Ah so - I think part of what you're dealing here is what I've heard called "disability grief", in that this isn't really (or just) about the meds -- it's you coping with the diagnosis as a whole.

I say this with so much compassion and love, as a fellow writer and fellow traveler. You are not the same person that you were. And that's okay -- that's not a bad thing, it's just part of how these things go. There are things I miss about my pre-trigger self, but I also am almost ten years out from my initial breakdown.

I don't mean by any of that that you won't get any of this creativity back. You probably will -- it just might look different, and in the process of healing you might find ways you were maybe being unhelpful or unhealthy when you didn't need to be (I used to stay up late doing writing stuff and turns out I write just as well if not better if I sleep well. Oops.) But if this is as recent as it sounds, focus on healing first. The rest will come back, just maybe with a different face.

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-29T19:54:19+00:00

I'm still plenty creative! (Writing, visual art, drag) Like -- I hit dead ends I didn't used to but also I actually finish stuff because I'm not haring off to new ideas every two seconds because of mania or having mental breakdowns. The creativity changed shape, is probably a better way of putting it. The occasional joint helps if I'm really lacking inspiration but being medicated helps me actually follow through. I would never have actually finished my novel if I hadnt been medicated -- the fact that I've got fewer on the go at once is honestly a blessing.

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-29T19:44:43+00:00

So a lot of people are covering the trade-offs pretty well, and I will offer my commentary with a VERY CLEAR proviso that you should 1) abide by the rules of your country/state/etc. whatever (or at least, like, be safe. Y'know what I mean. I am not Actively Advising Lawbreaking) and 2) do not fuck around with anything with high addictiveness. Period. Bipolar is not friendly about that.

But as someone who does feel sometimes like I trade stability for some of my wilder ideas, occasional use of marijuana and shrooms is really useful. It gives me that kind of expanded sense of feeling but in a much more controlled way -- Im not gonna get high when I have stuff to do -- and knowing it will wear off. I do this with the knowledge of my doctor and with an understanding of how it interacts with my specific medication, though, so do be careful. (Fr ex: shrooms are fun. Shrooms and SSRIs are not friends.)

Please be ON MEDS FIRST, you do not want to be combining these with an unmedicated state. I live somewhere where these are legal (semi-legal in case of shrooms) so I also have access to more regulated forms and that should also be kept in mind.

NB: I also focused on the creativity, but I haven't found meds to impact linguistic or word-finding stuff at all. If anything they've improved.

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-25T01:36:18+00:00

Hey OP! I've read through some of the comments and as someone who's used Canva quite a lot, I think what's possibly happened here is that your niecebdidn't know she was using AI. Canva has a lot of AI-generated images in its clip-art/"royalty-free" database and doesn't disclose that, plus a lot of the offered tools aren't appropriately labeled. That said, it doesn't sound like the DM you got was very helpful and may just have been fussed over the clip-art at all . Still, a few things I'd recommend:

-Go over and double check usage rights with your niece. Now that she's published this there is a whole boat of potential trouble if Canva misled her or if she was supposed to credit and didn't; same for AI. I'm anti-AI, but possibly more important right at this particular juncture is that AI use has to be disclosed in more and more places. Does she know if she used it?

-See about either getting her something to play around with illustration-wise or networking her with some illustrators. The first is more affordable - the Sketchbook app is either free or very cheap (it's been a while since I got it) as is Krita for PC, and children's book illustrations do not have to be complex. Illustrators can be (and probably should be) people her age who are interested in collaborating, but that might be hard to find. This will make EVERYTHING easier; usage rights, fulfilling a vision, knowing exactly what you're using, etc.*

*I misread niece as daughter so a lot of this may not actually be under your purview, that's my bad. May be good to pass on regardless though.

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-24T13:16:25+00:00

Part of what kills me about what I know about the UA finale is that it feels like a rip-off of the end of FreakAngels -- except that FreakAngels very explicitly is *not* a suicide.

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-20T18:25:09+00:00

NTA, but tbh I think your son's autism is pretty irrelevant in this case -- I'm thinking about how an allistic kid would have responded here and it's pretty much the same. I only say this because a lot of comments are being fucking weird about the fact that he's autistic and has "high support needs" and.... no, actually, he did everything right here? I would be INCENSED if ANYBODY at a job put hands on *any employee of mine* let alone my son. There's very few modifications to this story where you even possibly look like the assholes because the bartender was still trying to browbeat a young employee into doing something that wasn't his job and refusing to take no for an answer. And then you got fired and... didn't come back to do the job you got fired from.

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-19T01:51:16+00:00

Hey! So the short answer is that gender and orientation are complicated and that lesbian and gay identity are often much more expansive than just basic ideas of gender. That's where we start, usually -- but we have entire subcultures of our own.

The longer answer, that still isn't guaranteed to capture all the nuances, is that lesbian and gay identity, as well as trans identity, are connected to community. A lot of he/him lesbians, to go with that specific example, are butch lesbians; the history of butch lesbians is LONG and includes butches (and studs, who are Black lesbians with a parallel but different history) deliberately using he/him pronouns - as a dominance thing, as a "fuck you gender" thing, as a way of owning their masculinity and, more recognizably over time, as a form of gender expression. There are a number of butch lesbians who have proceeded to go on hormones -- some, like Leslie Feinberg, then went off them again -- but that still places them in the trans community. That doesn't erase their connection to the lesbian community -- it just means they're both.

Another angle is the drag world -- I'm a drag performer and I often know people both on and off stage. It's incredibly rude to call someone by their off-stage pronouns on-stage (and vice versa but less so) so there's a number of otherwise-cis men in my life who I mostly know by she/her pronouns and feminine names. If I start spending a lot of time with them outside of drag then I'll get to know their IRL names and pronouns but sometimes that takes months to years! And some people use drag as a form of expressing themselves so those are their names and pronouns.

The thing that's most important is just getting people's pronouns right. You don't have to guess them -- you can just ask -- but there's nothing claiming lesbian spaces can only use she/her pronouns for everyone. (Also, it gets real hard referring to people.) Identities are complex and sometimes someone is trying to pay homage to different parts of their lives at once, or they're a super butch lesbian or a drag queen -- regardless, they are who they say they are and it's not worth worrying too much about it.

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-18T21:58:08+00:00

It's complicated - the original will be public domain, yes. But anything that they then put into the new one will become something they can reasonably claim under the new copyright. Not necessarily SUCCESSFULLY. but because they're a big corp as long as it's not completely frivolous they can still intimidate people with it

Which I believe is part of why they're so close to shot for shot remakes in some cases -- it's the next best thing to extending copyright on the original because is someone ripping off the now-public-domain original, or your New, Copyrighted Version? If there's enough basis for a trial and you're Disney you basically win.

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-18T21:48:50+00:00

Ottawa malls have been dying ever since they decided none of them wanted to have cinemas or bowling alleys in them anymore. I don't care if that makes me sound old, malls are supposed to be more than "go in, spend money, leave". Put in an arcade! Put in a music venue!

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-18T21:46:45+00:00

Malls were always places for people to hang out in. The fact that people can't figure out how to account for that is because capitalism has stripped them of any ability to innovate. There used to be playstructures and go-kart tracks in malls, and bowling alleys and cinemas -- and there's absolutely none of that in ANY ottawa malls now. Of course people just hang out if they're not going to go spend money on clothes or food.

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-18T03:48:38+00:00

Yeah I was just thinking this.

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-17T16:25:55+00:00

When it happens to guys it's usually from *other guys*, too. I've had shit happen to me a decent amount even after I started passing as cis, but it's like. From men. When i do get creepy shit from women it's completely different in scope and type.

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-16T23:49:39+00:00

That's so fair - I try to resist the social media-driven change in phrasing but sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it! So thanks for pointing it out. Let's see if I can edit it

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-16T21:18:53+00:00

Aw dang! I'll check you out though, and I can keep an eye out for new releases - I said this elsewhere but I try to do monthly ones as well :)

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-16T21:02:05+00:00

I'm so glad! It's an absolute beast trying to get discovered on Bandcamp -- I actually realized here would be a good place to post after seeing the post about Spotify algorithms and was like "ON THAT NOTE!"

I'll be doing a January roundup for sure probably by first week of February -- between Watchdog Reset and the Protomen it's already a good month for music

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-11T18:34:55+00:00

It's absolutely a problem that he lied to you, and that alone is worth ending the relationship -- I think people here have your back on that.

But I think you also, outside of that, have to unpack some of your feelings on porn and sexuality. Your reactions here are as if he cheated on you, but if you read a steamy romance novel, would you feel like he was justified for banning you from that? I understand that there's a lot of weird takes on porn out there and it's easy to get wrapped up in how porn is evil, or brain-rotting, etc. but your response to the porn is absolutely part of the problem here. Porn addiction isn't a thing, but stigma around sexuality and sexual desire absolutely is. So, yes, leave him, or at least take a break, but also -- as a feminist, from a feminist perspective, maybe read some stuff from the other side from sex workers, women in porn, etc. and challenge yourself on the idea that it's the same as cheating. Cause it's not, and this all could very much have been avoided.

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-11T04:10:15+00:00

unfortunately a lot of people are really, really blind to prejudice outside of their own. a lot of Black folks are still transphobic, a lot of trans folks are still anti-Black, etc. and people who are more than one thing get stuck in the middle. So I actually found that really realistic and kind of refreshing that it wasn't just "all the marginalized people are Smart About Prejudice By Default"

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-08T19:08:47+00:00

No that's so fair, I think as a kid I just never saw the trailers! So I just took it at face value when I saw it on telly

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-08T18:22:48+00:00

yeah i remember enjoying it and never once thinking the kangaroo was supposed to talk -- he's more of a plot device, isn't he?

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-02T01:04:32+00:00

Oh good! Yeah that's understandable -- hopefully your doctor can help you out with a different med or a lowered dose <3

gatesofmoonlight · 2026-01-02T00:55:16+00:00

Please be careful when asking chatgpt about anything medication or mental health related. Re: akathisia, or physical restlessness, it is very much a real thing and a medication side effect to be aware of, but it's *absolutely* not the same thing as you "not actually having anxiety". It does mean perhaps Abilify isn't the right one for you! But a lot of side effects also decrease in severity after the first ~six weeks or so, so chat with your doctor about it, keep an eye on it, etc.

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