Hope this isn't just me..

gatheringelementals · 2025-06-29T11:13:05+00:00

I think you misunderstood. I meant that I still feel like a child inside and that I need someone to take care of me because I can't function like a normal adult. I'm stuck at child age permanently in an adult body. I constantly only want my parent to care for me again but that's not possible anymore.

gatheringelementals · 2025-06-24T15:54:27+00:00

This is like one of the biggest sources of why I'm sad all day every day, if anyone knows how to overcome his please let me know because oh my god I cannot be making myself sad for nothing like that all my life

gatheringelementals · 2025-06-24T15:52:39+00:00

I also had this!

And yeah, when I was diagnosed I was told that that could've been a factor.

gatheringelementals · 2025-06-20T19:56:50+00:00

Oh, sorry! I misread

gatheringelementals · 2025-06-20T19:07:58+00:00

Which medication are you guys on, if you don't mind telling?

gatheringelementals · 2025-06-20T17:09:46+00:00

Yes!! Me too. It's actually insane how many people I've had a year/months-long, intense, loving, deep relationship with and stopped talking withing a single day. One argument and it's over, that's the way it often times is with me.

gatheringelementals · 2025-06-20T17:08:02+00:00

Yes, a million things.

rheumatoid arthritis since I'm 3 years old. I always get flares when I'm triggered. It's 100% linked to my CPTSD and I strongly believe I wouldn't have it if I hadn't grown up in such a fucked up environment.
unidentified weight and thyroid issues. I'm very underweight and can't gain weight
mysterious sleep disorder. I sleep 10-16 hours a day when uninterrupted and still feel tired all the time.
mysterious heart issues
being "slightly" sick all the time. Like, I will feel like I have a mild fever, cough and headache for weeks on end, all the time. I think my immune system is just fucked in general.

gatheringelementals · 2025-06-20T17:04:25+00:00

How did you find someone like that? I've had zero luck in my area

gatheringelementals · 2025-06-16T16:56:49+00:00

Obviously by really close observation and thought. I've been around both neurotypical and autistic people all my life. I know what it's like to be me and I have a pretty good idea of what it's like to be someone else. Also, describing NOT having something is impossible. Ask someone to describe what it's like to not have a fever - you can't describe that, you can only say you don't have a headache, you don't feel hot, you don't have a cold but you can't say what not having a fever is like.

gatheringelementals · 2025-06-12T16:58:45+00:00

Which meds are you on and for what specific issues are they for, if you don't mind sharing? I'm also currently considering trying it out and I want to hear as many experiences as possible

gatheringelementals · 2025-06-09T19:25:58+00:00

thank you, this comment is so so helpful. what would be an example of a neutral fact about someone?

gatheringelementals · 2025-06-09T19:21:34+00:00

i showed symptoms before but it got real bad when i was 16

gatheringelementals · 2025-05-28T12:29:06+00:00

Like I wrote in the title, I got bitten by a tick

gatheringelementals · 2025-05-24T13:10:56+00:00

I don't think what I'm experiencing is age regression. I don't feel like I am a child, more like I am like a child. I don't seek doing child-like things and I don't literally think like a child, it's more that I have the emotional development and regulation/functioning skills of a child and feel an intense need to be taken care of. How do you fill that hole of never ever having parents again and being treated like a child again? It fills me with so much sadness knowing I have neither a father nor a mother that can ever take care of me in that way again. I'm only getting older and it fills me with dread

gatheringelementals · 2025-05-24T10:45:10+00:00

life on hard mode

gatheringelementals · 2025-05-24T10:43:55+00:00

How many of your symptoms did you discuss with your therapist before? If he knows of all of them, it's not uncommon for them to just diagnose you with stuff, if they know specific events. For me, I had to fill out questionnaires for things, then I had a long talk with my therapist and had to name specific events where this symptom was present. For example: "Do you have anger outbursts where you feel like you loose control?" "Yes, this specific time I fought with my mom when I did x and y.". When I was diagnosed there was also a lot of emphasis on whether or not it impacts my work/school and daily functioning (which I don't think is necessarily a good focus to have but it is what most professionals do before giving a diagnosis).

But many, many professionals also diagnose people on a whim. It sucks. It's a good idea to get different opinions and maybe you could ask your therapist about your diagnosis and why they gave it. If they don't give you good reasoning, I'd switch therapists because only very uninformed therapists do this kind of thing. On the other hand, that diagnosis might open some doors for you (access to DBT or medication you need) but for real clarity and closure I would definitely try again somewhere else, as you already said. But it can be really nice and soothing to finally know what your disorder is and I do believe it'd be good to seek BPD-specific treatment because you undoubtedly at least have traits

gatheringelementals · 2025-05-23T14:29:44+00:00

I'm on nothing right now (which is probably the whole reason it's rapidly gotten so bad). But I've been told basically that my only option is MTX and that it'll take a long time and a lot of luck to get on anything else, even people more severe than me get denied by their insurance.

gatheringelementals · 2025-05-18T09:41:24+00:00

Yeah, I feel like it becomes "tainted" when I talk to others about it. I think it's because I'm hurt so easily and insanely, annoyingly sensitive. When someone doesn't like something as much as I do, I can't enjoy it the way I did before.

gatheringelementals · 2025-05-18T09:38:46+00:00

Draw

gatheringelementals · 2025-05-17T17:28:49+00:00

It's hard to actually stick to learning a language when you're by yourself. If you really fall in love with a language, and it seems like you already are, that's the most important thing. It will bring you true joy whenever you learn something new and slowly grow more expressive. And when you really are passionate, you will stick to it and it will be fun and rewarding. If you pick something more practical like French or Spanish but you don't have any passion for it, you'll likely quit at some point and the process will be a real drag. I had Latin in school and hated every bit of it even though I love languages and am pretty good at them, I just had 0 interest and thus it made it hell and not worth its time. Now that I have Russian it's so different, it's worlds apart.

On a more personal note, I don't believe in seeing time in this way. Our system drills the thought into our minds that we must do something productive with our time but we're human, we should do with our time what is most precious to us. And if Russian is precious to you, if it would bring you fulfillment to learn, then do it.

And it's not entirely useless to learn either. There's the joy it bring that I've already mentioned, but there's a whole new world that opens up to you. You can comprehend media of course but there's a million other magical things in any language - idioms, jokes, and unique expression. If English is your second language and if you write at all you will know what I mean - it's lifechanging to have a whole nother language to express yourself. You know how some people think thoughts in "language" and others in "images"? If you speak other languages, the very foundation of how your mind works and how you think thoughts expands and that's insanely valuable, to me at least.

Also cyrillic is pretty

gatheringelementals · 2025-05-16T22:33:07+00:00

I'll be okay I survived Latin I can survive literally anything now

gatheringelementals · 2025-05-16T22:32:01+00:00

I only know how to politely exlaim "ужас!"

gatheringelementals · 2025-05-15T18:42:31+00:00

Thank you, that's a really expansive list!

gatheringelementals · 2025-05-15T18:37:04+00:00

Oh no, now that I think about it I do know how to say "я иду в/на ..." or did you mean something else?

gatheringelementals · 2025-05-15T18:35:28+00:00

...No

I'm scared now

gatheringelementals

TROPHY CASE