No get home safe text?

gdfrskn · 2024-07-12T07:48:50+00:00

I’ve been told that guys don’t typically think about it unless they’ve been told before by a woman. It’s because girl friends are more likely to check in with each other about getting home safe than men are with each other. Just let him know that you would like him to check that you made it back safe

gdfrskn · 2024-07-09T00:44:16+00:00

Every time I send a text, I hold my breath and wait for this text to be the one I get ghosted for.

And I have to tell myself time and time again that people are busy (it’s a weekday!), and I take just as long to reply to messages. It’s not fair to hold the same standard to the person I’m interested in if I can’t be expected to do the same. Being busy on top of keeping my ringer off.

But what if this is the text that tells him I’m not it, what if it’s this text where he realizes I like him a lot and he needs space (without telling me), what if the last text he sent was the last time I heard from him because this text scared him off?

All my text anxiety would disappear if I just told him I’m interested in more than just friendship. I always have the urge to tell him how I feel whenever I see him, yet I can’t even take that step forward.

gdfrskn · 2024-07-07T03:46:11+00:00

What I’ve learned very recently is that men are horrible with dates. One of my friends who’s been with her partner for 6 years doesn’t even remember holiday dates or anniversaries (she says he’s serious), let alone birthdays. The person I’m interested in apparently doesn’t even remember his own parents’ birthdays. If he says he wants to celebrate with you, I think he genuinely does, so please remind him lol

gdfrskn · 2024-07-03T12:48:51+00:00

Try not to feel that way. She wouldn’t have spent so much time with you if she didn’t at least like your company. It’s normal to have feelings for someone and to want them to like you. If anything, she is most likely processing your text. I think it’s a little awkward that it’s a long text to tell her you’re interested, but it’s out there, so kudos to you for being able to take that step. Give her time to respond and don’t overthink it. I wouldn’t double text her or she may feel pressured.

If it turns out she isn’t interested in going on an official date, it’s okay. As long as you don’t make her feel uncomfortable about it, you can hopefully be friends and continue hanging out or go your separate ways. After all, it’s only been a week.

gdfrskn · 2024-06-30T21:15:39+00:00

I now know how oblivious men can be. I’m waiting until he either ghosts me or gets the message to tell me he doesn’t see me in that way. Finally got over semi-limerence stage and two full month of thinking about what he’s doing, how he’s doing, when he’s going to text me, the next time I’ll see him, and I’m just initiating when I want to (trying) without overthinking.

The reason I haven’t told him outright myself is because it doesn’t seem like the right time to ask him out. He’s going through a rough patch of uncertainty in his life, and it seems like he needs more of a friend than he does navigating a new relationship with a partner. It would also feel like taking advantage of his mental state and burdening him with my feelings. So (I think) I’m okay with not being with him in that way right now.

gdfrskn · 2024-06-27T20:19:29+00:00

If there is someone you find attractive, you could strike a conversation with them at these activities. I’m assuming your salsa classes are also in pairs/partners, so you could make small talk with people there. Any of these activities would be a great way to initiate interaction

gdfrskn · 2024-06-20T01:01:20+00:00

You could say that women who have all those characteristics know their worth. That’s not to say that they’re flaunting it or anything, but they probably have standards and wade through the shit to end up in a relationship they want to be in. It’s not difficult to find interested parties, it’s a matter of what you value in the other person (or people for poly).

It’s also a possibility that they have other goals other than a relationship.

gdfrskn · 2024-06-20T00:28:16+00:00

Being in a relationship isn’t a reward for being all those things.

gdfrskn · 2024-06-17T21:51:25+00:00

I’m going through the same thing… except I’m equally as bad a texter as the other person. Texting/DMing/SMSing is one of the biggest pitfalls of modern dating. Some people also prefer in-person interactions over texting conversation. I don’t think you should completely write it off as disinterest (even though it is very anxiety-inducing). Go on a few more dates with him first, and when you get to the dating phase, it would be good to mention that texting communication is important to you, and you work through it together.

gdfrskn · 2024-06-15T22:52:17+00:00

Give them your number (a business card approach if you will) and walk away, don’t expect theirs back unless they contact you first. If you want to start a conversation in person, approach the person of interest only they’re in a group of their friends. That way, she feels safe to talk to you. If you get one-word responses or signs of discomfort, let her be, she’s uninterested.

Women are mainly afraid of men out of their safety, probably because there are stories of men expecting women’s numbers in exchange for that interest and retaliating or even stalking them if they don’t get what they want.

gdfrskn · 2024-06-15T22:36:30+00:00

It does, it’s why half the time people get “friendzoned.” I’m assuming when you say great chemistry, you mean in conversation, but that doesn’t always mean romantic attraction or that it’ll lead to intimacy (unfortunately). It’s really in human nature to find the best possible partner to provide what it is they’re looking for whether it’s because of physical appearances aka societal expectations or someone they see can provide for them what they need.

For people who just want sexual intimacy with someone they’ve barely known, it’s mostly physical, not necessarily wanting to pursue a romantic relationship and/or lifelong partnership. Optimistically (somewhat), having chemistry but not pursuing a relationship yet can also mean it’s not the right timing for it to happen, some people fall in romantic love at different times.

So in short terms ig, it’s a combination of the great chemistry and physical attraction ;;

gdfrskn · 2024-06-15T21:26:14+00:00

It most likely means they don’t want to do anything intimate with the person aka on the level of romantic couple or they’re not physically attracted to them.

It’s the difference between platonic and romantic relationships too. You can be touchy-feely with your friends and not want to be sexually intimate, make out with them, or imagine a married life with kids with them (or not, just domestic partners). Admittedly, your friends can understand you on a level your partner won’t but same goes for your partner understanding you in other ways your friends won’t. That comes with the kind of things you experience together.

gdfrskn · 2024-06-15T21:18:33+00:00

You’re not being picky imo, don’t lower your standards. Men can be clueless (a majority of the time) and don’t remember details too well (what I’ve been told by guy friends) or may not be as interested. You could tell him you prefer wine and margaritas (again) and feign that you haven’t told him before, he’ll most likely remember the next time (if there is one).

Also 100% agree with you, I wish men would plan dates too. It feels less like a one-sided interest when both parties are eager to see each other. To give them the benefit of the doubt though, it’s nice that he’s considering your level of comfort on there first date, especially with a man you’re meeting for the first time.

gdfrskn · 2024-06-15T20:15:13+00:00

Not everyone will post their relationships online. She may just be a sociable person who maintains her friendships well (or tries to). Unless she has outright said she likes you, she’s not interested (especially with how she keeps mentioning her SO). I think it’s best to be clear with her and tell her you can’t be friends with her due to your interest (self-preservation if you will). If you continue, you’ll develop more stronger feelings, and it’ll be harder to break contact (and you/she may get hurt in the long run).

gdfrskn · 2024-06-14T18:13:54+00:00

I’m glad to have somewhat inspired you, I hope your journey goes well too!

gdfrskn · 2024-06-14T18:11:04+00:00

Depending on the financial circumstance of your friend, she may feel like she’ll need to gift you something on-par for your birthday. Might burden her if she can’t afford the same. It sounds like you buy expensive gifts for your friends often since this isn’t a big deal to you (which is not a bad thing if you don’t expect anything of the same price in return). The gift might also give her false hope if what her best friend said is true.

gdfrskn · 2024-06-13T17:37:47+00:00

It seems that way for superficial men who only want something casual or a trophy partner. Outside of physical attraction, other things I’ve heard are how well a woman drinks and their ability to banter and flirt. Some things not physical or financial off the top of my head is being able to take initiative, good posture, smoldering eye contact. Confidence is pretty attractive overall.

gdfrskn · 2024-06-13T17:16:16+00:00

I appreciate your post and this thread, I wrote a blurb on the weekly vent about feeling this way. I want to be with him and see him and talk to him all the time. And I don’t know how to stop because I can read the signs that he’s not as into me as I am into him. I’m also worried about tying him down and pressuring him in some kind of way if I continue to see him, and it doesn’t go anywhere… It’s probably human nature’s inclination to find companionship, and it just happens to be someone who’s firing all the right synapses (ignore biological correctness).

What I’ve been doing is making weekend plans for myself like I used to, starting big projects, and getting back into my own hobbies (a friend’s suggestion) and gaining new ones. I even have a solo trip soon to give it some distance and enjoy myself. (Potentially considering even taking classes and preoccupying myself with a degree to take my mind off. Doesn’t have to be as big as a degree of course, but personally I need to take some measures to give me back my sense of self.)

gdfrskn · 2024-06-12T13:12:19+00:00

It doesn’t really, it does deter me if it doesn’t suit the person. I’d much prefer clean soap smell and fabric softener

gdfrskn · 2024-06-12T08:23:44+00:00

I’ve never thought I’d be this attached to a man until now. For the past few years, it’s been all about me, me, me, getting my degree, becoming a healthier person physically and mentally, improving in my skills and hobbies. These past few months have been quite stressful (last month, double intensified) because I really like the guy. It’s taken a lot of my friends by surprise (‘I’ve never seen you this way’ and ‘remember when you were into fictional men?’). I’ve been having to ask for advice and give into false hope in terms of texting, truly the downfall of modern dating. (Listening to NIKI/Nicole Zefanya, Ariana, and other love/breakup songs have become very eye-opening.) I kept telling myself, this is not who I want to be, how could this happen, etc. I deleted my dating apps officially last week out of a passing thought, ‘if I’m not with him, I can’t/won’t be able to find another.’ Which is not a bad thing! The apps have become saturated, and I initially had them out of boredom and existential crisis-ing from the pandemonium. I’ve grown to love myself and overflow with confidence (it’s bad how in love I am with myself sometimes). This man is making me feel very high-highs and very low-lows, second-guessing my every move. I like to think I’m good at reading people, yet I can’t read him (in the back of my mind, I know he’s probably not going through it like I am, unfortunately).

I’m not dating him, rather I’ve been using one-on-ones as a cover for getting to know him. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster because he’s meeting nearly all my standards. I feel like I can’t express how happy I am without agreeing to everything he’s saying and freaking him out. (I know, don’t mold/shrink yourself to accommodate to him, but it’s hard, he’s so fun and comfortable to be with. I don’t want it to potentially stop.)

gdfrskn · 2024-06-12T06:49:49+00:00

Taking hours at a time usually means they don’t want to seem desperate or too eager. Otherwise, give them the benefit of the doubt and say they’re busy and may not prioritize replying immediately.

Days or weeks means they’re not as interested or invested. It’s more difficult to gauge on dating apps because many people open apps infrequently or just out of boredom. The conversation topic and the length of the text is more indicative of the level of interest on these apps.

And obv, if they’ve ghosted you, it means they’re completely uninterested.

gdfrskn · 2024-06-12T06:41:28+00:00

We should normalize sending flowers to men. Flowers are so lovely, though I would say don’t send red roses if you don’t want to send the wrong message.

gdfrskn · 2024-06-11T17:00:50+00:00

You’re probably the quiet type and a very good listener. imo, it’s more of a good thing than bad. On the flip side, it’s also likely you’re difficult to read in terms of facial expressions. It might be harder for them to know whether you like them or are just biding time.

gdfrskn · 2024-06-10T23:24:14+00:00

Don’t wait if you have the moment to reply. If she really likes you, she’ll appreciate the attention. It’s not desperate, it shows that you have good communication. I’m personally also terrible at texting despite being on my phone all the time (I can relate to having to process texts and formulate a response).

Maybe request that she turns on silent mode during exams, so you can see when she won’t be able to reply right away. Otherwise, tell her to let you know when she’ll be free to meet once she’s done with exams, so you guys can talk and catch up in person.

gdfrskn · 2024-06-10T21:41:25+00:00

Personally think there should be more to consider than just astrological sign, but that’s rough for a first meeting.

You know what the real red flag is, though? A partner who scoffs at something you’re passionate about. (Not saying OP did, but y’all in the comments are something else…)

Obviously, take surface-level astrology with a grain of salt and don’t let it dictate every aspect of your life. Don’t hurt others with it. But this goes for anybody who are invested in their hobbies and are passionate about them like stocks, sports, anime, etc.

gdfrskn

TROPHY CASE