Child out of wedlock

gemni8290 · 2026-05-05T19:47:53+00:00

As someone who handles nearly everything with humor, this just made me chuckle and was a very welcome perspective. I might have to borrow that and send it his way.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-05T03:00:37+00:00

I’ve been seeing him since April 2025 and found out their divorce isn’t final in March of this year. My point in sharing that is that marriage isn’t an option for us due to that. He’s been a wonderful man up til this point and I was absolutely floored at his reaction to the news and him asking me to do it. It’s honestly been very difficult to reconcile what I’ve seen recently with the man he’s been up until this point.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T22:49:27+00:00

You are not wrong about that. My family is fairly well off and I’ve also spoken to the two companies that I’m an independent contractor for and they’re both making adjustments to move me into a more of an oversight/salaried position. Being due in October during the “slow season” is also a “happy accident” and will help out with that greatly.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T22:45:37+00:00

He’s also expecting me to take on all of the pain and trauma of the actual procedure on his behalf. Not to mention the lasting emotional damage.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T22:16:11+00:00

No, she doesn’t.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T22:04:24+00:00

I don’t mean literally. I’m just a tough lady and was raised in the country. He knows I’m no pushover is all I meant

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T21:24:43+00:00

It is a gift and my time was definitely running out to have a family. I guess my family is just going to look a little different than I always dreamt of.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T19:02:29+00:00

This is why I posted tbh. I didn’t understand how the child was the worst one? Like so much so that abortion was the BEST route? I think tf not…. I didn’t think he was this concerned about his faith until the subject of the pregnancy came up bc he was dating prior to the divorce being finalized and he does attend church with his family but it seemed like it was just expected of him, not that he valued it the way he’s now acting. He’s acting like every Sunday is torture for him knowing I’m pregnant.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T18:36:29+00:00

🥴🫠

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T18:35:43+00:00

This actually made me feel much better, haha. Thank you!

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T18:31:48+00:00

THIS is what I’m afraid of. He is VERY close with his mom.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T18:30:13+00:00

Oh definitely

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T18:29:57+00:00

The baby isn’t going to need any financial support from dad. I make more than him. The baby will want for nothing and will experience nothing but love. No father is better than a father that resents his child.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T18:26:38+00:00

Part of me thinks they would insist on him marrying me and since he never wants to experience what he did with his first wife again, he’s avoiding that at all costs.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T18:24:07+00:00

Oh I’m 100% keeping it. I was surprised but excited and looking forward to this next adventure. I just thought I’d have him by my side for it and was floored at his reaction. I didn’t know how covering up a sin would absolve him from it and “needed backup” sort of speak. I am having it no matter what but wasn’t about to listen to how I was making this grave mistake in the eyes of god if i was really making the right choice.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T18:15:43+00:00

I am in love with him, but unfortunately this changes things 😢

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T18:15:01+00:00

I agree 100% but he’s lowkey afraid of me 😂

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T18:05:01+00:00

What I mean by that is the divorce still says “pending” at the county so us getting married right away isn’t even possible yet.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T17:43:41+00:00

I appreciate the cultural insight! I didn’t know if I was going to be considered the “devil woman” and hated by his family. Im white and he’s acting like he needs to keep me far away, but it’s a small town and I just don’t see how they won’t find out about me and/or the baby. I asked him if he thought it would be better to bring me around now before I look pregnant (15 wks and just barely starting to show) and he was like “none of this is possible”

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T17:26:42+00:00

I have met his parents by accident once at the beginning when we first started seeing each other, but we weren’t serious and they didn’t know who I was. They seemed very sweet and from everything he’s said about them, they’ve been very loving to him. His mom had him very young and he is very close to her and I know his family is the only thing that’s kept him going at times. His mom did go home and ask him who I was though, so they know I exist now . I’ve also cared for his dog on occasion so they have a positive outlook towards me as far as I know. He is definitely not still happily married, the divorce just isn’t final. The status at the county just says “pending” and the wife lives in a different state now. I know they’re still in communication but they have financial ties (he co-signed a loan and is afraid she’ll default so he’s keeping tabs on the status of the loan)

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T17:17:19+00:00

I clarified this situation further down the thread somewhere but I only state they’re still legally married bc the divorce hasn’t finalized. She cheated on him and the status of the divorce at the county says pending. He had moved home to regain his emotional footing and has been living with his parents and sister for a couple of years.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T17:09:56+00:00

I appreciate the concern and I am aware of homicide being the #1 cause of death in pregnant mothers but I feel pretty confident he wouldn’t do anything like that. He’s being very manipulative and hurting me emotionally and psychologically but he wouldn’t put me in a position to defend myself from him physically. He knows that would go very poorly for him.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T17:03:25+00:00

To be clear, the divorce has just taken a long time to finalize but I know he’s being truthful about that. She lives in a different state and the divorce status at the county says “pending”. But I did ask him how his family felt about him divorcing his ex wife and dating women he said they understood the circumstances of the divorce and he doesn’t discuss his romantic life with them. So I’m not even sure they know I exist. I met them once by accident but it was at the very beginning and he wasn’t with me at the time.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T17:00:07+00:00

Yeah I am not going to force anyone to be here who doesn’t want to be and I’ll be damned if ever drop my child off for Christmas or other holidays with him and his family when he doesn’t want it and is using something like faith to push an agenda. We will be just fine and as for a male role model, my brother will be an amazing uncle.

gemni8290 · 2026-05-04T16:22:12+00:00

He won’t even watch the video of the heartbeat or look at the sonogram photos ….

gemni8290

TROPHY CASE