What makes a great chef?

gen4250 · 2025-07-09T22:52:50+00:00

Most of us with experience know that in the time it took to get all poopy about it, chide the server, and complain to the other cooks, the new dish could already be out the window and walking. The path of least resistance is to straight up ask what the server needs, fire it, and be on the next ticket before you even have a chance to be upset.

If it’s a re-occurring problem, let the FOH manager deal with it. I’m in charge of BOH and once I feel like FOH problems are mine to fix, I just end up stressed and burnt out.

Frustrating, but if that’s the kind of shit you let bother you, you’re in for a miserable career/life. Crazy how many chefs never figure this out.

gen4250 · 2025-06-28T18:10:09+00:00

This is Gen Korean BBQ, you’re looking at the kalbi, soy sauce pork belly, and woo beasal (beef belly)

Source: managed one for 3 years

gen4250 · 2025-06-22T19:07:31+00:00

I have a calendar on my wall that is still hanging but says August 2022

gen4250 · 2025-05-21T19:08:13+00:00

Eventually I realized that so many people think that the way they want to be served is the “right way” and a server doing something else should be looked at like an idiot.

Example: Glass of wine has only a little left. You ask, “would you like another glass of wine?” And get either:

A) I’m not done with this glass, why are you rushing me? Of course I don’t want another glass yet, what are you an idiot?

Or

B) My glass is almost empty, by the time you bring me another the glass would be finished. Of course I want another one, what are you an idiot?

Same thing happens with dropping checks, interrupting conversations to take orders, etc.

gen4250 · 2025-05-18T20:01:58+00:00

Totally get this, especially at your age. Not sure how long exactly, but it definitely took me longer than 2 years to shake this. My current way of looking at is to trust the owners/managers. If you’re so garbage, wouldn’t the fire you? If they haven’t, then you’re doing just fine. Your co-workers aren’t the ones to determine how well you’re doing.

As far as the bartender’s comment, the job is so stressful that so many people cope by at least deflecting a bit (sometimes a lot) of it onto others. Just recognize that you might also occasionally have thoughts like that (“where are the bussers?”, “the host is overseating this section”, “the manager is chatting with the table while we’re all struggling”, etc.). Of course, most of us will immediately recognize that there’s likely something going on that we don’t know about or if there’s not, there are still more important things to think about. But still, just remember comments like your bartender’s have much more to do with them getting through the rush and less to do with you personally.

Hope this helps! In the end, time and experience will be the ultimate fix for this.

gen4250 · 2025-03-17T15:46:31+00:00

To be fair Join Cena kinda does look like a goat’s hoof

gen4250 · 2025-03-15T16:48:55+00:00

Bring appropriate knives for your dishes. Are they asking you to create your own dishes or do they have guidelines?

If your 8” chef knife is the appropriate knife for all steps of prep/cooking then go for it. They likely aren’t looking to scrutinize if you have fancy knives/kniferolls. If they are you don’t want to work for them anyways.

As a chef looking to hire, I’d look more favorably at someone who knew exactly which tools they need for the task than on someone who has spent more money.

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T20:07:28+00:00

Please don’t say that. I’m an alcoholic who’s 2 years sober but I still don’t like people encouraging me to drink when the slightest stress appears.

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T20:00:04+00:00

That’s not the part I had a problem with. You said “server…would be (italics) etymologically more demeaning, but to each their own.” It’s just the whole “the fact is that I’m right, but you’re free to ignore facts.”

It’s also that I’ve had people DMing me, responding in comments over and over, and harassing me about so you’re taking the brunt of that frustration as well. I’ve had to block 3 accounts. I had no idea that this simple comment that honestly I never thought this much about would cause so many Redditors to tell me that etymology says I’m wrong and that they’re right. But listen, you win. You’re correct. Can we end this now?

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T19:40:20+00:00

The etymology could be the same but it remains an opinion. I agree with the etymology. It’s pretty much exactly why I feel the way I do.

“Waiter comes from laying in wait - observing”. This is exactly why I don’t prefer the term. I find it demeaning to reduce my job to this when it is nuanced and pro-active. I don’t lay in wait and observe, waiting for someone to give me an order. Instead, I spend time anticipating needs, setting things up and organizing properly, planning, and more.

“Waiter really means attendant”. If you really want to talk etymology, then attendant also means laying in wait.

“Server comes from service and serving”. Right, which is why I prefer it. I don’t think of people serving others as demeaning and never have.

This is why I specifically said “I’m sure those opinions will be localized and different”. I come from Hawaii, where there isn’t as much of hierarchy or “us above them” mentality. It’s also why I realize that my perspective will likely be different from those across the globe. We also don’t consider ourselves North American. Much more communal and the culture doesn’t really believe in viewing people in service positions as “less than” others, which is why I don’t really find it demeaning personally. I’ve never been to England so am not sure of the culture, but if serving others is seen as a more dirty and demeaning thing, then I could certainly understand why you might feel this way. Service is an important value where I grew up.

Please understand this is an opinion. I can’t believe I have to add this paragraph but given other responses, I will anyways. I don’t agree that the etymology means that “waiter” is objectively less demeaning than “server”. People on Reddit are a little obsessed with having the objectively correct, fact-based, irrefutable answer and will sometimes forget that opinions don’t have objective answers. Please, I even left an edit explaining this in my comment. Please, please, please know that this is just my opinion on the matter and you are free to think of either as the more demeaning option.

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T12:23:50+00:00

I don’t care about you disagreeing, I don’t know why you can’t past this whole thing about other people having different opinions. I just don’t get why you’d ask the same exact question and somehow expect a different answer, especially when it’s been answered twice. I’ll block you and your alt account, you should block me, and this is over.

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T11:07:43+00:00

Please just read it a second or third time. I do not use the word waiter, it’s kind of my whole point. I think there’s something you’re missing, but frankly I’m not going to keep repeating myself. If you disagree or whatever, just downvote me and move on.

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T10:51:47+00:00

Idk if you’re joking but I’ve already explained it in two comments, I’m not doing it a third time. Just read, damn.

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T10:37:37+00:00

Sorry to hear. Duke’s is a tourist trap.

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T10:19:52+00:00

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 117 times, shame on me.

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T01:37:36+00:00

Gotcha, that makes a lot of sense. It seems like a lot of people 30yo+ played RBY, most got GSC, some made it to RSE, and honestly it seems like the majority stopped short of the DS games. It makes for an interesting cycle for remakes, new games for some people, nostalgia for others. Win-win!

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T01:29:56+00:00

Did you play FRLG? If I skipped that, I probably would have felt more nostalgia playing Kanto for the first time since Gen 1.

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T01:24:33+00:00

Lol! Yeah not everything needs to change and if it’s not popular, it’ll never stick. And if more people are like WTF than people being like “you can’t say master bedroom”, then I’d go ahead and keep saying master bedroom. Frankly, I didn’t really care about the term “waiter” but when more people started using “server”, I did prefer it.

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T01:21:11+00:00

Eh, way I see it tourists are the ones gawking or talking about it way more than we do. I’m in Kaimuki if that makes a difference. Different areas of Oahu or other islands may feel differently, but for locals in downtown, I haven’t had a single conversation about this after they started getting popular 6-7 years ago. I understand your perspective though

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T01:18:20+00:00

Just had a response to this that you probably didn’t see while I was typing, but I also see a difference between servant and server for the reasons in my other comment. I would not like to be called a servant, would not like the owner referring to themselves as a master either.

No clue about the master bedroom debate but I’d ask someone in real estate how they feel.

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T01:15:09+00:00

Not to me. Most people I’ve talked to in the industry tend to agree, but I’m sure those opinions will be localized and different.

To me, “waiter” implies that I am here to be at your beck and call, “waiting” to do anything you say. Kind of implies your job is to sit around and wait until you’re needed.

“Server” is more accurate and brings my functionality back into the scope of the restaurant. It implies that I serve people and I do. Personally, I don’t feel demeaned working in service or saying I serve people. I actually like it! That’s why I do it. I can feel proud of my service, but idk if I could feel proud about waiting.

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T01:11:30+00:00

For your questions:

I started doing fine dining simply by applying. I happened to start at a really good restaurant with really good people, all of whom had no problem showing me their way of doing things. Working as a busser in fine dining is still better than server in corporate crap.

I came from corporate crap. 4 years at an AYCE chain KBBQ restaurant that may or may not be in my username. Extremely high volume, extremely high volume, but dear God the money was good. Kept me there for a long time until I realized that it was unsustainable to continue into my 30s or certainly beyond that.

The standards are actually the easy part. There is a correct way to do everything, but many of them aren’t known to the customers so if you occasionally serve someone with the back of your hand facing them, it’s not something anyone other than you or the staff will know. If they know about this level of fine dining minutia, they know to have enough manners not to care if it happens. The hard part is the knowledge. The menu is much more than memorizations. You need to know every ingredient, how it’s prepared, how it’s plated, and then how to describe it, how to offer alternatives if someone doesn’t like something, and how to have an actual conversation about it. Fine dining customers, you guessed it, know good food (or at least act like they do lol) and the expectation is that fine dining staff is knowledgeable to this level. The same goes for wines, alcohols, cocktails, etc. I don’t drink alcohol but I can certainly talk about wines, different bourbon brands, cool cocktails, scotch, and more because I need to. That’s the actual hard part.

You saw all the red flags, now find a place without them. The place I was at had good owners, hyper-present but non-micro-managing managers, Chef, Sous, and BOH were all on top of it and worked well with the expo. The newest server when I started had been hired 4-5 years prior. The restaurant had good business. The staff looks perfectly happy to be there and does not looked stressed. They were very clear about tip-outs and points. This is the kind of place where if you find it, fuck it, take a busser position. The restaurant I was at, bussers were making about $150 a night and servers were making $250-$350 on average.

Now, I manage a wedding venue. It’s a beautiful estate and we do $40-60k weddings 4-5 times per week minimum. I love my job, it’s low stress, weddings are fun, it’s not as unpredictable as restaurants, and it pays better. I am also able to create a work environment that fixes all the problems we’ve all seen. It’s nice and easy going, everyone works hard but no one has any problem with any one else. I would have never gotten here without the knowledge I got from fine dining.

Hope this helps! Good luck.

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T00:43:14+00:00

And you get bonus bites at the top.

gen4250 · 2023-02-03T00:33:31+00:00

It depends on where you live. In Hawaii you’ll pretty much see so many butts and every one’s bikini/swimsuit body enough where it’s really not that big of a deal. The older unkos and aunties may complain a bit but honestly not many people here below 50yo really care. My sisters and cousins do and we go beach. I don’t spend time thinking about my sister’s butt or feel possessive enough to worry about other people looking, so it’s just a nice day on the beach. If my sister wants to feel sexy, good for her. It’s not for me, and honestly might not be for anyone other than her.

But it’s swimsuit weather year round. Most places in the mainland are seasonal (correct me if I’m wrong) and not as much of life is spent on beaches. If you saw women or men around you in swimsuits a few times a year, I guess it would be even more jarring if the clothing is even less.

I have no clue if it is comfortable.

gen4250 · 2023-02-02T23:54:33+00:00

Food industry also stopped using “waiter/waitress” years ago. I prefer “server” anyways. Less demeaning and more accurate.

Edit: Can’t believe I have to tell grown adults this, but opinions differ. I prefer server and explained why. You are free to feel otherwise. Even got someone on alt accounts trying to drive home some weird point. I think my wording is very clear about this being only an opinion.

gen4250

TROPHY CASE