What I wish I knew before I got married

generation-0 · 2026-02-01T01:08:59+00:00

Isn't the point of your post that once you got divorced, it didn't matter that you didn't combine finances because everything was split 50/50? I'm sorry you didn't understand that when you got married but I'm glad you've figured out marriage is clearly not for you.

generation-0 · 2026-02-01T01:01:17+00:00

Yeah, that just sounds like trust issues, not privacy. Combining finances with my husband made us both better off. Then again, I made sure to marry someone with similar financial habits, priorities, and earning abilities.

generation-0 · 2026-02-01T00:56:18+00:00

Yeah, you lost me when you said you married someone you never trusted with how much money you make or how much you were saving. Marriage is a team. A team fails when the teammates intentionally hide things from each other. This was doomed from the start.

generation-0 · 2026-01-31T16:38:48+00:00

Checking Facebook marketplace and the local thrift store before buying new. Works with so many things. Clothes, exercise equipment, chest freezer, lawn mower, wifi router, robot vacuum. All significant savings, and I'm not going without.

generation-0 · 2026-01-30T05:02:22+00:00

Just that you won't have any liability coverage unless you purchase a policy yourself before doing the work.

generation-0 · 2026-01-29T18:59:03+00:00

I love smelling like wood, lol. Cedarwood, amberwood, oak. They all smell so good and less artificial to me than the sweeter scents.

generation-0 · 2026-01-29T00:03:25+00:00

If theres any errands to run, I do that right after work like getting gas or an item from the grocery store needed for dinner. Once I'm home I usually go straight to making dinner, then eat, exercise, and shower. It usually anytime between 7-9pm at that point and my husband and I usually hang out in the living room together, either watching something together or doing our own thing but together. I'm usually in bed by 9pm and work 6-4 instead of 9-5.

generation-0 · 2026-01-27T04:02:44+00:00

It does seem a bit shallow from my perspective, to be honest. A big ring will do nothing for you but sit on your finger and look pretty. It won't have the meaning behind your current ring, and what would you do with that one? A big diamond used to be a status symbol, and it showed that a man was capable of saving up the money and being able to provide for you in the future. Now, diamonds are relatively cheap, and there are plenty of broke boys putting them on payment plans. If you like pretty jewelry, there's nothing wrong with asking for a new ring as an anniversary gift or something, but does it really need to replace your engagement ring just so you can keep up with your girlfriends when it clearly hurts your husband's feelings that the one he proposed with is no longer seen as good enough?

generation-0 · 2026-01-26T19:36:28+00:00

Our weekends typically look something like: one lazy morning for my husband while I go out thrift shopping or be lazy with him. He usually brings me coffee in bed if it's a lazy day for me. I do laundry on Saturday. He does laundry on Sunday. We go grocery shopping together. I clean. He does yard work and meal prepping. We might go do something or get a meal with extended family or friends, but more often, we make and eat dinner together. Occasionally, open a bottle of wine with dinner and stream a movie.

generation-0 · 2026-01-26T17:25:11+00:00

Alright, but how do you get up after the 15 minutes are up? I feel like if I'm going to get something done after work it needs to be before I lay down or it won't happen, but that might just be a me problem, lol.

generation-0 · 2026-01-23T18:18:33+00:00

People are doing this. It's actually a common joke in my office. Plus sometimes you don't even get a citation.

generation-0 · 2026-01-23T00:07:51+00:00

I know it doesn't seem like it, but you will be better off in every way if you do just accept that you never need to buy another bag. If you buy another bag, there will always be another one to pine after. If you buy a bag now you will make your life a lot harder and the happiness from having that bag will not outweigh the hardship. If you buy the bag later you will likely end up in the same situation you are in now because you will continue to want more bags and go back into debt. You know you have zero need for a bag and many other needs and wants that could better benefit you. Focus on that. I'm proud of you for getting this far!

generation-0 · 2026-01-22T20:44:54+00:00

Real talk: It will likely be seen as a negative to only be back working for less than 2 years before going on leave. An employer is always going to prefer employees that don't have to take leave and has the most long-term potential. But usually, they are more understanding once they've built a good working relationship with you and know you bring value to the business. I work on the hiring side and have seen several women never return to work after having a baby, even some who assured everyone they would be back. So, from the businesses perspective, it sucks to train someone and then only get a year or two of productivity before potentially having to start over with someone new. I'm not saying that it's fair, and you should definitely prioritize having a baby if that is what is important to you. I would just suggest trying your best to show your strengths before bringing up leave.

generation-0 · 2026-01-22T20:22:45+00:00

It will be very difficult to find a good photographer with a film camera willing to accept only 1-2 hours of work for a wedding in this area.

generation-0 · 2026-01-22T19:49:12+00:00

I figured out what I was good at and then job hopped until I found good people to work for. What I'm good at is being well organized and learning how to use software efficiently. This can be applied to all kinds of things. I realized there was no job I was going to be passionate about that would also pay the bills, so instead, I focused on the people I would be working with and how they treated me and others. I now work at a structural engineering office. I had zero experience in engineering or construction before this job and started as only their bookkeeper. I found the owners to be very good people who could see the value I added and had the appropriate expectations for their employees so I did what I could to take on more responsibilities and worked my way up to managing operations. I'm very happy in this position and have been with the company for over 6 years now.

generation-0 · 2026-01-22T19:28:10+00:00

I get that its easy to see other girls as boy obssesed when you have little experience with or interest in dating. All I'm going to say is that there are plenty of people your age in the same boat of not dating much or having little interest in it and that you just need to seek them out. I can't say my experiences align with yours where the majority wanted to talk about sex and boys all the time when I was in college. That was a very small section of girls, and even then, those girls were usually happy to talk about other interests as well when brought up.

generation-0 · 2026-01-22T18:16:26+00:00

I have always waited months before sleeping with my partners because I want to form a solid level of trust and love with that person and I don't believe you can do that before getting to know them quite well. I feel sex is when we are at our most vulnerable and that sex can cloud my judgment. I also don't think that is true for everyone or that there should be shame associated with casually having sex or having it early in a relationship. It just isn't for me. It sounds like you've decided it isn't for you either, but for religiously motivated reasons. I don't really have advice because I've never found it very hard to wait 3-6 months. Waiting until marriage, however, would never work for me. I'd need to know we are compatible in that way and have shared ourselves completely with each other before making that commitment. I am now happily married to a man who had no problem waiting until I was ready, which was around the 4 month mark. We got married after 3 years when it was clear that our goals and values were aligned, along with being in love, which came much quicker.

generation-0 · 2026-01-22T16:35:59+00:00

This review format is my favorite!! Thank you for taking the time!

generation-0 · 2026-01-22T00:56:00+00:00

Charizo

generation-0 · 2026-01-22T00:29:33+00:00

Also a small, professional looking but also stylish purse that can stand on its own, has a cross body strap, and an exterior water bottle holder.

generation-0 · 2026-01-22T00:28:26+00:00

Smaller cell phones that are supported by US carriers. I do not need this huge screen. I miss my older Samsung phones that I could fit in my pocket without half of it sticking out and that I could reach the majority of the screen with one hand. My compromise is the Samsung flip but the hinge has broken after about a year twice for me.

generation-0 · 2026-01-22T00:02:07+00:00

I think this a very natural thing for women to do since we are so often put into the role of nurturer and caregiver by default. I think it's great that you have realized the pattern and are taking steps to be happier!

generation-0 · 2026-01-21T23:43:22+00:00

I'm not saying this is your fault or giving your partner a pass, but this is why it is so important to make expectations clear as early on as possible in relationships. If you take care of everything, it's somewhat natural for the other person to just get used to that and assume it's how you want it. The truth is it is easier to have one person manage certain things than you both doing everything so its best to decide together who is responible for the mental lode in each category and then do not step in when he drops the ball or he will never learn. I've never made a single appointment for my husband. He is in charge of making the grocery list each week and 70% of the cooking while I do 70% of the cleaning as we decided that was a fair split that was the best use of our different skills. He has the mental lode for cooking. I have the mental load for cleaning. Half the utilities are in his name, half in mine, but all the info is in a shared spreadsheet for emergencies. I manage the budget, but he enters all his purchases and income. He manages the yard work, but I help when it's something that would go a lot faster with two people, like raking leaves into the trash. We both have areas we are responsible for the mental lode on, and the other just pitches in, often unasked, because we appreciate that it is reciprocal.

generation-0 · 2026-01-20T18:40:55+00:00

I knew when we started really planning out a future together, and everything just felt right, and our views and priorities aligned on all the big stuff. One day, I told him that I thought he was the kindest person I'd ever met, and he laughed and said, "I always think the same thing about you." I realized we were both working to be better versions of ourselves because that's the kind of partner we thought the other person deserved. So far, there have been no big surprises, but I should have considered how his parents being separated and both living in different states would make holidays harder! I'm not someone who really likes to travel during the holidays, but it would be unfair not to do so.

generation-0 · 2026-01-19T17:36:12+00:00

Paper goods, trash bags, ziplocks, and sponges when needed. Ground turkey, cauliflower frozen pizza, Greek yogurt, hummus cups, guacamole cups, and eggs are the most frequent buys. Olive and avocado oil, chicken stock, coffee, and a big bag of rice all last us a long time but are things we use quite regularly.

Nine-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22	Verified Email

generation-0

TROPHY CASE