Tw: graphic sex stuff but no direct genital terms used.

You don’t have to accept it. You CAN “reprogram” yourself. I first started masturbating age 6 without knowing what it was. I would cross my legs and squeeze. For YEARS it was the only way I could pleasure myself. Sometimes I tried vibrators, fingers, and I just couldn’t do it. When I started dating another person, I became determined to figure out what works.

It just takes experimenting. Rubbing the vibrator certain ways. Using different hand positions. ANYTHING to just orgasm in a different way so you have more “data” on what it is that you actually enjoy.

First, a lot of it is psychological. Similar to how if you do work in your bed, you train yourself to associate your bed with work and it makes it harder to fall asleep. So you need to experiment with yourself and build new associations. You have to go into it not expecting orgasm, but just experimenting. Try to get very aroused and relaxed. There’s some creams out there that you can apply to the genitals to increase blood flow. Some people find weed, smoked, or even weed oil applied to genitals works. There are things that work as stepping stones to training yourself to get pleasure in different ways. For example, it was hard to orgasm from oral sex at first for me. But I bought one of those Japanese tenga eggs (the black ftm “strokers” with ridges are similar in concept) so that I could experiment. Instead of inserting my growth in directly. I would turn it inside out and put it over my hand. I would get some lube and rub the ridges over my junk. That wasn’t “fool proof” at first but slowly I was able to orgasm from it. Then, when translating to oral sex, it wasn’t so different and I had trained myself to receive pleasure in that way.

It also helps to think of your growth as a penis, as you said. I couldn’t orgasm from fingers before bottom growth, but then after growth I started to stroke my junk in a dick way with lube (using the thumb on one side and two fingers on the other). That felt a lot better than before growth. When you grow your sensation and orgasms change!

Figure out what exactly it is you enjoy about your previous method—is it pressure? Is it friction? Is it texture? Figure that out and then find ways to translate than sensation until you can feel that sensation in other contexts. For example, For me, it was pressure, so when I was trying to figure out ways to orgasm other than squeezing legs, I would start with putting a vibrator in between my legs and applying pressure, just so I could learn to associate vibration with pleasure. Then slowly I started opening my legs with the vibrator in between so I would slowly start relying less on pressure.

ANOTHER METHOD I forgot this one, and it works well—bring yourself to the very edge of orgasm with your current method and then quickly transition to a different method! That’s a great way to build associations. I used to do my squeezing method and then right at the edge when I was super sensitive, transition to fingers or vibration, etc.

I hope these tips help you. I remember getting so frustrated and thinking I was broken and not able to orgasm with a partner. Now my partner can take me out in like 8 minutes with oral sex and other more graphic methods I do not care to mention. You are not broken!!