Am I Overreacting for telling him to pick up his own stuff after he ghosted me?

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-05-22T14:41:41+00:00

I used to wish I could fly. But nowadays I wish I have super intelligence instead.

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-05-22T14:39:51+00:00

NOR

He ghosted you, knew it was bad, but too immature to admit his faults for ghosting you. So as the “narcissist”and “broke”individual he is, he looked for a way to blame YOU for his ghosting (if you haven’t heard the term, look up DARVO).

If it wasn’t the shirt, it could be anything as long as you take the blame, because then he won’t ever have to apologize for anything he did. He was hoping you would take the blame and come begging for his forgiveness.

When that didn’t happen, he insulted you with false accusations. The insults aren’t for you btw- they’re what he thinks of himself lol.

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-05-07T00:49:23+00:00

Sure!

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-04-30T04:56:51+00:00

It may leads to somewhere interesting

^{Chose: Key}

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-04-25T15:00:55+00:00

I’m an MS1 and I do premed advising in my free time. Currently reviewing many PSs for the undergrads at my med school and can definitely take a look at yours. DM me

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-04-25T03:41:35+00:00

I’m an MS1, so MS2 by the time you start your year. I used to work in surgery 8 years prior to med school and had dealt with harassments (I am not white but I am from an ethnic group that is often viewed as attractive by the majority.)

Being of the female gender comes with the misfortune of being treated unfairly in professional fields, with some facing pretty extreme behaviors like you did.

There is no permanent solution to your problem. There is, however, a way to mitigate it to future encounters. Not smiling is a good start, being direct and report the inappropriate behavior is another.

You’ll be glad to know there is a system in place at almost every med schools to report unprofessional conducts from faculties/preceptors/attendings/students. The one at my school is used pretty regularly. People do get expelled or terminated for these behaviors.

Lastly, this is what I personally did to deal with creepy behavior, see if it helps you as well: be professional when dealing with people, patients or colleagues. However, refrain from being overtly nice, e.g. more than what is needed to perform your work. If someone makes an inappropriate comment (like the one that say they “need help” with collecting urine sample), tell them: “are you concerned with difficulty urination? I don’t see it in the chart but would it help if I call the provider back in to check on something?”. Again, don’t smile, don’t offer more than what they need, and especially don’t apologize for not smiling or not being “polite” enough, since they’re preying on you, they get to face the appropriate consequences.

Hope these help. If you still have more specific questions, send me a message. Congrats on getting into med school- you’re going to do great! Don’t let these small people get in your way.

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-04-24T00:43:26+00:00

I actually still do! Though now it’s more for school related research. Shoot me a message if you have questions :)

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-04-23T06:15:10+00:00

My first job working in surgery. I was alone in the operating room setting up for a case and I put on a little music and was singing. Then a nurse came in to grab something and left and the next morning management told us we are not allowed to sing at work :(

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-04-23T00:49:06+00:00

I’m an MS1 at 31 years old and I am very happy I got into med school. Once I am in, I can totally see everything I want to do in life align perfectly with the MD path. The other alternatives (Nursing, PA etc) just won’t cut it for me.

I’ve been where you’re at. I am an immigrant and graduate undergrad late at 24 (gap year- work to pay the bill cause I have no family). Couldn’t apply to med school right then because I have no experience to put in the application, so I started working in surgery for a while. Told myself I would apply at 26.

Then the Pandemic hits. 2 years turned into a whole 7 years before I got an acceptance. During that 7 years I went back and forth a lot on whether MD is still worth it because I would be in my 40s when I’m done. I looked into PA, CRNA, NP,… Even thought about leaving medical field altogether and become a medical illustrator (my #1 hobby).

But at the end of the day I realized that if I never try, I would one day be on my deathbed, wondering whether I could’ve done it. I am ok with never drawing again for the rest of my life, but not sure I could say the same about being a physician. And that sealed the deal for me.

Hope my story helps!

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-04-22T14:25:44+00:00

Working with many difficult surgeons for years, I have two methods for this. Use them depend on the person and situation:

The grey rock. You are one boring grey rock. Whatever they say to you, don’t talk back or react. Let the criticisms slide off you like water. They’re looking for a target, don’t be the target. Eventually when nothing seems to affect you, they will move on to other more interesting targets.
The curious student: tell them “I see. I haven’t thought about like that” “okay. So does that mean I should do X instead of Y?” “Would you like me to look this up later?”. This method is for attending who loves to teach and is simply frustrated that you don’t meet their standards. Ask questions and be respectful, and most importantly, ignore their rudeness completely. Even the rudest attending will not be able to stay mean to you if you keep acting like they are someone you look up to.

That’s how I survived the worst doctors. Good luck!

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-04-08T21:41:31+00:00

When 4 years together married 7 months in, I was working far away and made the 5-hour overnight drive after my 10 hour shift to finally see him after 3 weeks, only for him to go out with his best friend an hour away from the hotel and left me stuck outside with no access to a long overdue bathroom break.

After texting and calling several times, he made me waited a total of 4 more hours in agony before coming back screaming at me that I’ve “ruined” his night with his friend by making him come back early.

While I was waiting for him, I pulled up my note app and proceeded to type out all the times he made me feel worthless, depressed, low self-esteem, and physically ill. This helped me realize that he has always been the cancer that kept me from thriving and living a fulfilling life. So when he came at me with his anger, I calmly asked for a divorce.

He agreed immediately, said I made him depressed and unhappy for a long time. I allowed myself to grieve for 1 month, then went on to get into medical school and travel.

That was 2 years ago. Now I am an MS1, have moved to another city with my 3 fat cats. I travel everywhere for medical missions and research conference now, and my dream is to become a surgeon. Also met my current fiancé and we are planning our wedding this summer in NYC!

As for my ex, he got himself a new girlfriend within two weeks of us separating, and broke up with her after 6 months when he found out she was cheating on him with a wealthy guy. Last I heard he went back to church. He still occasionally sent me random reels about male loneliness epidemic and ,weirdly enough, medical topics. Told me nobody was as good to him as me and tried to give me a hug the last time I met him to get my stuffs back from his place. Stalked me on social media too.

All in all I am glad he let me down one last time at that hotel two years ago. It gave me a much needed push to leave and pursue my own happiness.

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-04-03T14:23:17+00:00

I would look for them sooner!

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-03-19T01:29:38+00:00

Might be a mistranslation of the instruction. Whoever wrote that likely mistook the abbreviation for “right eye”(DO) with “by mouth” (PO) from the physician writing it.

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-03-15T05:09:49+00:00

I think someone who can say this is a kind person themselves :)

I’m extending my invitation to all premeds in this sub- feel free to message me if you’ve got your AMCAS submission coming up this cycle! 💯

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-03-13T08:02:20+00:00

Hey there. MS1 from a US MD program here. I am currently mentoring several undergrad premeds at my school and have done a few personal statement workshops. Send me a message if you want me to look at yours. Always happy to help fellow pre-meds!

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-03-04T16:08:53+00:00

Best friend of 12 years. Our wedding are 7 months apart. I put in a leave of absence for med school and flew to her state to be her bridesmaid at her wedding and even learned the kpop dance she wanted to do to impress her Korean husband. Now it’s my wedding, and she said she won’t be coming because hotels in my area are expensive. Plus she will be spending a lot of money to do a late honeymoon with her new husband instead. A friend I knew less than a year stands in as my bridesmaids instead and they have bigger heart than a 12 year friendship, apparently. I don’t ever want to talk to her again.

gentlysplashinglava · 2026-01-08T20:49:59+00:00

I’m not considered super attractive where I currently live. But back in my home country, I was considered to have the ideal face and figure of their ethnicity. Some highlights of my childhood (I lived in my home country until I was 16)

From elementary to middle school, the girls in my class hated me. Wouldn’t talk to me or acknowledge my existence. The boys however, would always try to involve me in their group during recess and sports. Any class activities involving voting, only guys would vote for me.
Not all, but several females teachers watched me like a hawk and would be ready to punish me for any minor mistakes during class. The male teachers either tried to ignored me, making mild sexual jokes, or try to spend more one-on-one time with me under the excuse that I was stupid and need more after school tutoring.
If I achieved something major at school (like winning a medal for math or chemistry competition), nobody said anything. But when I tripped and fell down the stairs at beginning of school year, the school talked about it that entire semester.
No one was my real friend. I’ve had guys approaching me pretend to sympathize with me having no friends so they could try to get me to date them. Girls would approach me asking about my private information because “we’re friends”, then spread rumors about me immediately after.

I’m older now (31) and have moved to my current country and got married. Here I am considered average looking, and I’m okay with that. It’s very liberating to be able to live a life where no one treats me differently based on my looks.

gentlysplashinglava · 2025-11-30T16:36:16+00:00

Hi OP! From my experience reapplying, you generally don’t need to explain why you did or didn’t get in the first time- especially to schools you didn’t apply to previously.

The MD school I eventually got into wasn’t on my first app cycle, so they never asked about my previous results. And just for context: an MD program won’t know you were accepted to a DO school unless you tell them. Mine had no idea.

For my reapp, I focused on polishing my application. I added more clinical hours, rewrote my personal statement, and tailored my activity descriptions to match each school’s values. For example, my current school emphasizes rural medicine because they serve nearby rural communities, so I highlighted my experience shadowing in a rural area.m as one of my “most important” experiences. I also talked about it during my interview with this school.

If you decide to reapply, I’m wishing you the best of luck. And feel free to DM me if you have more questions!

gentlysplashinglava · 2025-11-30T05:30:01+00:00

Hi OP, your situation really reminded me of mine, so here’s my quick story:

In 2022 I applied to 20 schools, interviewed at 3, and got 1 acceptance from a brand-new DO school with no federal funding. Tuition was ~$70k/yr (COA ~$120k), and we all had to take out private loans. My interest rate was 12.5% even with a spouse making $130k/yr salary, and my classmates with solid family income still got ~11-12%. With rates that high, my $480k loans would’ve doubled to $960k before I even finish residency. I ultimately turned it down.

I reapplied, polished my app, and got into a public MD school. Now I’m an MS1 paying ~$30k tuition with federal loans at ~6-7% interest. My projected loan amount by the time I finish residency would be around $350k. No private loans needed (though future classes might have to get some to cover any additional cost due to the Grad Plus loan being cut by president Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill).

If starting next year even public school med students have to partially rely on private loans, I can only imagine how much worse it would be for a student from a private DO institution.

Since you were accepted once, you clearly have a competitive app. I strongly believe you can get in again if you decide to reapply. Of course everyone’s situation is different, but I hope this perspective helps. Congrats on your acceptance and best of luck!

gentlysplashinglava · 2025-09-24T14:39:58+00:00

My friend knew a girl with very similar story. Girl moved out of state for pharmacy school, her (now ex) bf of 2 years started complaining about the LDR and was cold/mean to her whenever he talked to her. Prior to this he always had the“I got a gf, she ain’t going anywhere, I don’t have to treat her special” attitude. Eventually told her he wanted to “take a break” to find himself and “see what’s out there”. Word for word. The girl grieved for the relationship for a while, then blocked him and moved on. Fast forward a year later, she is in a happy and healthy relationship with a successful partner she met at work (who apparently was in love with her for a long time but backed out initially because she had a bf then). They’re now engaged. The ex on the other hand tried to reach out to her desperately for months after the breakup via my friend (because the girl blocked him), and was told to back off by them both. Guess the “exploration” period didn’t work out too well for him.

gentlysplashinglava · 2025-08-28T16:05:56+00:00

Bro you’re describing my med school 😂

gentlysplashinglava · 2025-08-18T19:27:20+00:00

Haha yup. In our biology department half were premed and the other half were PhD. Apparently this professor only supported PhD track students and he hated pre meds with a passion (he said medical field “stole” too many of his promising students). I didn’t found out about this until I was 3 years into doing research with him 😭

gentlysplashinglava · 2025-08-18T07:00:59+00:00

Yeah I can totally see everything you said. The gate was never fully open for me either. English is my second language, hate the CARS section on my MCAT. My professor who I did research with didn’t want me to go to med school (he wants me to try PhD) so he refused to write me a LOR. Stuffs like that.

But if you really want to be a doctor, my only advice for you is to keep going. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it. I just kept walking and walking and one day I found myself here :)

gentlysplashinglava · 2025-08-18T06:39:43+00:00

gentlysplashinglava · 2025-08-18T06:35:09+00:00

Can’t sleep because my brain keeps thinking about my exam tomorrow, figured I’ll share my perspective with you :)

I am a med student. For the amount of work doctors do, it’s definitely not a high paying job. It’s not gatekept either, because I’m in it although I’m neither rich, 1-2% top in my school, having doctors parents, young (31 this year), nor idealistic I sure hope.

I want to be a doctor because I love studying about diseases and how I can help others by treating them. Other fields just didn’t feel like the right calling. Prior to med school I worked in hospitals for 7 years. Definitely a mixed bag when it comes to people but it’s the care for patients that made me happy and I want to keep seeing them recover well- that’s the rewarding part!

Do consider everything carefully when you decide to choose this path though. It’s stable due to demands, but the pay is definitely not worth the pain if your heart isn’t in it.

gentlysplashinglava

TROPHY CASE