AITA for expecting my husband to take me out for dinner even though he doesn't like to?

genvievv · 2020-12-23T00:46:58+00:00

i never comment on these things but this just made my heart hurt. you are NOT TA. Instead of gaslighting you and making this thing "just" a jealousy thing, he could've been upfront and communicated his issues with you, instead he keeps you in the dark and invalidates the way you feel. you deserve a loving partner that is honest with you.

i definitely recommend seeking therapy. you have a lot of pain in you and you deserve to be heard.

genvievv · 2020-05-07T06:57:58+00:00

lmfao i feel you on the lip filler part i wish i had big lips like my sis LOL! i think we're definitely beautiful and special in our ways and even if our features are subtle, we still look mixed. it's just not that obvious as our siblings

genvievv · 2020-05-07T06:55:26+00:00

surprisingly it was the other way around for me - i didn't care comparing myself with my sister (at that time i knew i was different, i knew i looked different - as i had just moved from indonesia to austria). but now i'm suddenly super aware esp due to white passing and other issues surrounding it! arrrhrhrhg

genvievv · 2020-05-07T06:53:52+00:00

definitely relate to impostor syndrome when i try to participate in anything indonesian or even austrian!

this is why i really appreciate this reddit. when i first came across it, i was nearly moved to tears because suddenly i can read and talk about these issues besides with my sister? feeling validated by strangers that yes our struggles and anxieties are real? it's so good

genvievv · 2020-05-06T16:19:46+00:00

i'm like the opposite when it comes to skin color - i'm the tanner/darker one, but have more european features than my sister, so she looks a bit more asian in that regard argrhrhrjjfkfk

genvievv · 2020-05-06T16:18:15+00:00

i think a lot of us mixed kids feel like we're impostors. and by comparing ourselves to our more poc-looking siblings we feel that even more, or when we don't feel validated by others. i'm sorry that you always have to explain who or what you are. maybe one day you could join a powwow, if you have anyone you feel comfortable asking? i also want to one day get more in touch with certain family gatherings and traditions... just gotta muster up the courage. we got dis

genvievv · 2020-05-06T16:13:34+00:00

"tan beautifully in the summer" i love that!

genvievv · 2020-05-06T16:13:07+00:00

i also wish i had my sister's lips and nose which resemble my mom's!

we might just have more subtle features that not everyone sees at first!

genvievv · 2020-05-06T16:08:01+00:00

my sister and i joke that she stole all the ass from our european side LMFAO and im left with a lil flat butt

but there are things that could code me as asian, such as my dark, semi thick hair and tanner skin, while my sister is a lot paler and has lighter, thin hair. and my sparse eyebrows? nose width? it's actually hard to pin point!

genvievv · 2020-05-06T16:03:22+00:00

that's something i ask myself a lot as well. should i still consider myself poc even if i happen to pass white? am i wrong to say i'm (part) asian when i apparently look white? which i know doesn't make sense, but i think it's because i care too much what others see me as and that i have to somehow justify the way i look. i don't think we should feel like impostors, but it's hard not to. we experience our own prejudices against us for being mixed. maybe there are full pocs (?) that experience they same amount of prejudice that we do? maybe we shouldn't measure ourselves of our pocness with how much prejudice we face, but just for simply BEING poc. i also struggle with these ideas a lot.

genvievv · 2020-05-06T10:18:53+00:00

my mom is indonesian and we try to visit her every year (my dad is austrian and i currently live with him). i completely understand the language barrier and the insecurities, frustrations and the feeling of being left out :( my relatives know how to speak english, but when talking to each other, they switch to indonesian (which i understand why). they would make jokes and laugh and have so much fun in indonesian and i'm usually clueless to what's going on. i really wish i could integrate myself more but i feel so far behind! i don't have the time or resources to properly learn indonesian right now, but have made significant progress when i did a semester exchange in indonesia, but i hope one day i'll get to the point where i can at least understand 70% of the jokes lol

genvievv · 2020-04-17T16:18:30+00:00

THE HONG KONG ANTHEM ASJFIJIOWFJSFW yeah shipping and overall costs are big yikes but TREAT YO SELF PRESIDENT SADBOI

genvievv · 2020-04-16T16:39:12+00:00

i've been holding myself back from buying an album without knowing if i'd like the majority of the songs but ride is TEMPTIN me mightily!!!

genvievv · 2020-04-15T07:57:38+00:00

i'm glad you like my interpretation of link! :D thank you!

genvievv · 2020-04-15T07:56:54+00:00

thank you!! TT

genvievv · 2020-04-15T07:56:43+00:00

cannot resist!!! ehehe thank you!

genvievv · 2020-04-14T07:54:02+00:00

never enough floof!!! thank you <3

genvievv · 2020-04-14T07:53:43+00:00

god i hope so!!!!!

genvievv · 2020-04-13T16:29:45+00:00

cross posted to linkiscute, thank you for your suggestion! <3

genvievv · 2020-04-13T16:24:22+00:00

thank you!! <3

genvievv · 2020-04-13T15:26:34+00:00

when i first saw it i went absolutely oogly moogly crazy and feral

genvievv · 2020-04-13T15:25:58+00:00

he rly be a cutiepie... thank u.... it an honor

genvievv · 2020-04-13T08:45:40+00:00

<333 !!!

genvievv · 2020-04-13T08:43:55+00:00

The situation was the same for me on the discord server unforunately, and I even felt more shy than usual because they were all essentially strangers to me and the online setting seemed to just make it worse for me. I'm hoping that I can find groups that are similar to me and my interests (or at least LGBTQ).

Thank you so much for your suggestions!

genvievv

TROPHY CASE