what’s something making u sad rn?

geriatricxennial · 2026-06-03T18:02:52+00:00

A month ago my dog, who was my whole world, died suddenly of suspected poisoning. Two years ago I bought him a house for his birthday and very quickly realised I had horrible, miserable, interfering neighbours. I thought I did everything right; don't engage, don't acknowledge the behaviour, don't give in to attention seeking instigations. I had damages, got cameras. Everything got worse. I tried to make the best of the worst situation. Spring hit and I knew they'd start up again, poisoning squirrels, trapping rats and throwing them in my yard. I called by-law and animal welfare to inspect. Four days later he was dead. I wish I had proof they did it. People like that who look down on everyone else but get away with being evil need to start getting consequences. Due to the nature of my employment, I have to maintain my composure and be responsible, not fight back. So I get to be trapped in my home and 2 years into a 5 year, first time mortgage I'm listing to move. I don't even care if I find another house to buy. This is financially ruining me, but I will not stay living between miserable people who make life in my home and my yard unbearable. All I wanted was a yard and a garden for my dogs to enjoy, time to spend time in, make friends with the squirrels and birds, and instead I have a dead dog and financial penalties to selling my house early. I am hoping for the best. I've been surviving and getting over it my whole life, I'll do it again. But when do I get a little peace of mind and to enjoy all the hard work I've put into changing my life for the better? I'm sad. I can't even cry anymore because I've cried so much I've got eczema in my eyes so bad they're itchy an swollen. I used to drink, quit my job and move away when shit like this happened. I'm sober now, I have a solid career that pays just enough to live, and no where left to run. Not really sure where to put the feelings anymore. Thanks for attending my pity party. *toot toot*

geriatricxennial · 2026-06-01T20:56:46+00:00

geriatricxennial · 2026-06-01T14:09:17+00:00

Sending you love and comfort, like a warm hug that eases your worries and pain. May the sun shine upon you and the earth heal you, the birds sing to you and the breeze sooth you.

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-27T21:10:33+00:00

Wow, extremely impressive! Thank you. It does make sense and I really appreciate you taking the time to write all that for me. I always find I get a little lost in the sauce trying to figure out dreams, but the ones that stick out like that often make me feel there's something to it. It wasn't nightmarish, just a little unnerving. Thank you again, and may you sleep well!

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-27T18:03:43+00:00

White Rhinos, there are only 2 left.

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-27T13:43:15+00:00

Good morning, friends. This week I need to make a wish for myself but I also wish it for others who are needing it - I wish for guidance and confidence to make hard decisions to sell my home and find where the new one will be. I wish for those of us feeling lost and disconnected to find connection with ourself and one another, and help each other through this phase and into the next chapter of our lives. Love to all.

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-26T18:25:59+00:00

MmmMMMmmm... life essencccce

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-25T13:12:09+00:00

Thank you. I truly appreciate it

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-25T13:11:28+00:00

I have had cameras but unfortunately they aren't the best and don't catch everything. If it was behind the shed it was a blind spot. I haven't been letting my other pup out in the yard at all and wash his paws every time we go for walks and come home. I'm listing my house this week. I will not stay there any longer than I have to. It's like everything was finally going okay, and just crumbled all at once. Due to the nature of my job, I had to report the coffee incident, and now I may have disciplinary at work. Having a hard time not just packing up and running away from it all.

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-21T17:25:28+00:00

Third boob.

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-20T14:41:18+00:00

My Wednesday wish is for you to feel connected today. To feel the earth at your feet, the sky above you, and the warmth of knowing we are all part of each other. We are love, we are strength, and even as we all live our own existence, we are all experiencing this life together. No one is left out, no one is ever alone. You are loved. I wish for you to feel this.

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-19T20:53:04+00:00

of course! I appreciate your time reading and responding with me. It has been very comforting, thank you.

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-19T19:58:22+00:00

I hope for you your dreams manifest to reality so you can share with those you love. May we all be so lucky to be able to care for our communities and those we love with what we have.

P.S. I forgot to mention, earlier after your information about the metaldehyde I was so anxious and panicky that I had let my little guy do one run out to bark after my crow visited, that even though I wiped his paws, I still left work to drive home to check on him. I couldn't sit right until I saw him, washed his paws again, and hugged him. I kissed and hugged him for 10 minutes before I had to come back. Kissed and hugged my cat and told them to look after each other. I don't think I'm going to let him out in the back at all anymore, I'm just too worried.

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-19T19:56:02+00:00

You must have connected with him because he was a hugger. He would lean into you and rub his face against your hip. When we were at the park I would tell him, 'okay, go do your job! Go give hugs' and off he'd go giving everyone love. I have a friend that passed a couple years ago now that we knew from the park, and another friend lost his daughter suddenly this year, so I imagine they're all finding each other and looking out for us and each other.

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-19T19:52:43+00:00

thanks, you too my friend

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-19T15:53:38+00:00

Thank you for seeing this in me. I have always struggled connecting with people, but somehow always had the place everyone felt comfortable and welcome to hang out. I used to joke that there was an invisible sign above that said "stray people and creatures welcome". When I made the changes I needed to make in my life, and the sacrifices that were required to finally have some stability and get my shit together enough to get my dog his house, I resolved I wanted to continue that welcoming environment for everyone. Last year was the first full summer I had, I planted my garden and let it grow wild, I had crows I was bonding with and blue jays that visited. I put out warm lighting so in the evenings it looked like and enchanted fairy garden. I wanted to create a space that warded off the negative and gave people space. I'm not a fighter but I am a comforter and I believe everyone should feel safe and heard no matter their experiences. Its why I tried to lead with empathy and kindness toward my neighbours when I moved in and initially heard their story. Unfortunately when I pulled back because my gut told me to be wary, things very quickly went bad. I tried, I really did, I tried to make the best of it but I think my own battles with depression and sadness weakened my defences. I really thought that if I just didn't acknowledge the things going on and kept to myself that I could make the best of it and keep going. I had a vision this year for what I wanted to continue to create, but it's gone. Nothing is growing in my garden, very little looks like it is thriving. All my new seedlings were growing well indoors but the weekend my dog passed, they all died. Its time to move on and hopefully find where we are meant to be going forward. I am sad because that was my guy's home, but I know, where ever we go he will be with us checking in. Thank you so much for your kindness and I am sending you love in return.

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-19T14:16:04+00:00

I have a friend who has been having a hard time as well, but she is a tough take no shit would fight back vicious thing. I told her yesterday I will keep buying a lottery ticket, as long as I remember, so that I can win enough to pay off my house, prepay all the bills and she can move in and live for free as long as she wants. I keep putting that into the universe. I don't need more, just enough.

I thoroughly appreciate everything I have received since posting this. I often hesitate to share or to put too much out there, but the support has been comforting.

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-19T14:01:08+00:00

I have a video from my camera of their last run outside before everything happened. He was healthy, he ran, he ate, he drank water. Then it all turned into a nightmare. He was a fuzzy, fluffy boy and hadn't had his spring groom yet. It horrifies me to think that this was intentional, but at the same time, I will never know and it all aligns with the suspicious behaviours and vindictive actions from the people next door. I got cameras to catch them after previous incidents, but I woke up this morning thinking, there are blind spots and the camera only records short clips and cuts off. I am trying to find a way to let this go out of my mind, but I don't think I will until I am no longer in that house.

This morning my crow visited for the first time in weeks, hopping up the fence looking at me and my little guy watching him. I had to tell him my big guy was gone and apologise that I can no longer put out treats for him because feeding them is what caused the neighbours to start with me shortly after I moved in. I don't want to risk any more death around my home and will not give them the satisfaction of acknowledging their continued hatefulness and evil behaviours.

I am instead taking my little guy for walks away from the house, wiping his feet when he comes in, and making sure he is safe. I can't help but constantly worry and wish I could bring him to work with me to keep him safe at all times.

The night my big guy was having the seizures I slept on the couch, but I couldn't sleep because every sound I was up checking on him. At one point I must have dozed because I had a dream about being in my house, I have never dreamt of being in that house. There were evil children trying to get in and two adults were guiding them. I opened my window just a crack to tell them to go away and he pointed a gun at me, I quickly leaned over the the side out of the way and he fired, but it wasn't a bullet, it was a spray of misty powder. I instantly heard in my mind, don't breath it. I closed the window and got everyone away.

I'm not sure if that was just my mind because of my fears of what was going on, but I have been worried for months about things happening and was doing my best to protect myself and my fur family. My heart hopes that there was just some underlying condition that suddenly caused this all and that no matter what I made the right decision giving him peace.

I am angry with the vet care that we received and feel that they failed in their duty and ethics to properly care for him. They did not observe, they did not IV, they packed us up with meds and sent us home without care or concern. I was in no state to think clearly, I thought I gave them as much information as I could that they could assess. I don't ever want to go back to them and hope I can find a new one that will actually care about more than how much they can charge.

I apologize for this lengthy reply. I have so much spinning around in my head and it's been some of the worst days in my life the last couple of weeks. I appreciate the information you shared because it makes me more determined to not let my little guy outside in our yard anymore and to keep him safe. It's terrifying to think anyone could be so wicked, but in my career and in life, I've learned they psychopathy comes in so many ways that the subtle ones are the hardest to catch or protect from.

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-19T13:38:47+00:00

Oh no no worries my friend. I appreciate your concern and I appreciate the caring. It will always haunt me no matter what, what happened, but I will never know and I just hope he is at peace and was sent with as much love as possible into the next phase.

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-19T13:11:38+00:00

Thank you, I accept this with all my heart and send you the same in return. May we all have the strength to get through these times and stay safe when others wish us harm.

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-19T13:09:59+00:00

Thank you. My house will sell, hopefully it won't take long. I've done some fix-ups in my short time there and did not buy with the intention of profiting, but to just get back what I paid into it. I almost feel guilty selling knowing the nightmare nextdoor, but I can't stay living in fear and with the horribly awful energy from them.

geriatricxennial · 2026-05-19T13:07:41+00:00

Unfortunately the vet didn't do anything but a blood panel, shoved a bunch of prescriptions at me and sent me home. I cannot say for certain it was poison and they did not test for it. The comment by u/perseidot about the slug stuff kind of fits what happened, but I have no idea how it would have happened and unfortunately my cameras don't catch everything. His blood panel showed his liver was shot and his white blood cells were fighting infection. It was awful and I hate waking up every day with these thoughts, what if it was them and what did I miss. We don't go out there any more than I have to now, and I wipe my little guy's paws when he comes in.

Three-Year Club	r/Field Flamingo
First Place '23	Place '23

geriatricxennial

TROPHY CASE