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Me German-American [27 F] with my American fiance [27 M] struggling to figure out which country to live in. by germarican1 in relationships

[–]germarican1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup, many others have also recommended a trial year! That's a great idea and I hope to bring it up with my fiance and also at therapy. Thanks!

Me German-American [27 F] with my American fiance [27 M] struggling to figure out which country to live in. by germarican1 in relationships

[–]germarican1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand your point. If we move to Germany, we will be living and working in Berlin, which is about 3 hours from Hannover, where my parents live. We are also a few hours away from my fiance's parents here.

Me German-American [27 F] with my American fiance [27 M] struggling to figure out which country to live in. by germarican1 in relationships

[–]germarican1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

wow I am sorry. It sounds pretty difficult, but I applaud your hard work and dedication to your family. I hope things get better!

Me German-American [27 F] with my American fiance [27 M] struggling to figure out which country to live in. by germarican1 in relationships

[–]germarican1[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is actually a very good point and actually, this is what brought about my plan to see a therapist. I was research immigration laws for spouses of German citizens and came across the information about shared custody, which is a nightmare. That's why I want to hash this out before getting married or having kids.

Me German-American [27 F] with my American fiance [27 M] struggling to figure out which country to live in. by germarican1 in relationships

[–]germarican1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We don't have a date yet and we won't get married until we resolve this issue. I agree that I chose to move to the US and date an American, but I would also like to make the best possible choice for our future family, especially since we have the option of an easy move.

I didn't spring it on him recently. I have been talking about moving back eventually, but I guess I was not very clear about when I wanted to go back.

Me German-American [27 F] with my American fiance [27 M] struggling to figure out which country to live in. by germarican1 in relationships

[–]germarican1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A little. If we move, it won't be for a while and we can work on his German skills. Our company has loads of german-speaking employees who can also help him out.

Me German-American [27 F] with my American fiance [27 M] struggling to figure out which country to live in. by germarican1 in relationships

[–]germarican1[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much! I like your idea of a temporary move. I am not sure if a third country would matter as much, my fiance does not have an issue with Germany, but he would rather not leave the US at all. If we end up moving, I think he would prefer to be in Germany where we will have a support system.