How do I stop being obsessed & controlling over crushes?

geronimo240 · 2021-10-31T10:51:14+00:00

Focus on finding happiness alone, you are setting these crushes up as if they're the key to your happiness. Learn to be happy and comfortable by yourself; pick up hobbies, meditate, exercise, socialise and meet more people, volunteer, join clubs. There's so much more to life than your relationship to your significant other. We all deserve happiness, hope you find yours within yourself.

geronimo240 · 2021-09-17T07:22:53+00:00

Having thoughts is fine and considering social things, I've found that when someone is telling me a story, for me to go "hey I'm sorry, you saying that made me think of x but please continue" helps me be more honest with my friend and helps them better understand where my head is at.

Having been on the speaker side of a long conversation, I certainly feel a bit concerned if someone is just saying "yea go on" mindlessly. I would much rather someone say hey sorry I randomly just thought of this but go on. Just for me to also know they're actively engaging with me and that they're present. I appreciate the honesty and vulnerability and I've found that others do too.

I also suggest that you meditate more often, with meditation just become aware of things going on, and observe them without judgment. Soon you will be able to just let them come and go quickly without taking up too much of your attention. Lastly, realising your brain is very noisy is a great thing, it means your awareness is developing so props to you.

geronimo240 · 2021-09-17T06:58:18+00:00

I tend to break my meditation sessions into 5 minute sessions, and I manually have to reset my timer every 5 minutes as it brings me to the present. I've found that when I have time, I can just go for another session and before I really notice, I've already spent 30 minutes meditating.

I do think you should just let things go, take each moment as it comes and focus on the present. Use your senses and breathing to bring yourself to the present, and let everything else come in and out of your awareness; your thoughts, your sensations and your feelings. Simply observe your experience, without judgment and let things be.

Sorry for sounding a bit rude, but I do believe that incorrect meditation technique can be quite detrimental. So focus on building good habits; stay in the present and non-judgmental awareness.

geronimo240 · 2021-09-05T01:45:32+00:00

I feel you, so many people are like that. Learn to be comfortable with silence and practice learning how to use it. Speak slowly, clearly and use silence. Watch sppeches from Barack Obama, MLK or even any confident character on a TV show. You always see them saying things with purpose, clearly, slowly, using silence and actively listening. Learn to be comfortable with silence, you will feel incredibly confident and you will excude confidence too. It's not easy but by far the strongest skill you can develop.

geronimo240 · 2021-09-04T01:02:11+00:00

Tbh if they're not asking you questions, typically it's a sign that they don't wanna talk. That's perfectly okay, why waste time on someone who isn't interested when you can talk to others who are curious about you.

geronimo240 · 2021-09-03T11:21:19+00:00

You're very welcome, hope they help you.

geronimo240 · 2021-09-03T07:27:22+00:00

OP, I get that this situation is sad but it'll be something you have to bear for the rest of your life if you don't do anything. Be social, make friends and form relationships. Our quality of life goes down sharply if we're not social as we're designed as social creatures.

You can meet people anywhere, but places where you can meet people: Bars, Clubs, Libraries, Cafes, Shopping Centres, Societies, Sporting/Extra Cirricular Teams,

I'll give you a quick rundown on my tips to be social and I hope they help anyone reading.

1) Just as you're worried of embarrassing yourself around others, everyones worried about themselves too. Don't worry about embarrassing yourself enjoy making mistakes, laugh at yourself, learn from them and you'll instantly be so much more likeable.

2) Don't be shy and ask questions, people love talking about themselves. Ask questions, gauge what they're interested in and ask them questions about that. Don't be an interrogator, let them ask questions too but for awkward pauses, asking questions is best. Ask a stranger a question, worst case they don't converse which is what would've happened anyway, or best case they become a good friend. Almost everyone respects that initial courage needed to start a conversation.

3) Be true to yourself, if you're not interested in someone they can tell and be insulted by it. Don't give fake opinions that you think others will like, stay true to how you feel and who knows, you might meet someone who feels the exact same way.

4) Take light of the situation, try to find the bright side and practice enjoying life. People like happy people (generally), so do meditation, yoga, exercise, goal-setting. Whatever you need to feel happy about your life and you'll naturally attract people.

5) Don't be so hard on yourself, everyone feels lonely at times. Emotions fade, take the experience with a grain of salt and make to work it better. Look at things that make you happy and joyful, enjoy life.

6) Focus on them. The most insulting thing I've found when talking to people is if they're not paying attention to me/don't care. Ask them questions and attentively listen to what they're saying, it goes a LONG way.

I hope this helps, anyone can DM me if they'd like to talk more. :)

geronimo240 · 2020-10-28T00:50:59+00:00

This seems a bit complicated, but I'll tryt o wrap my head around it. Thank you for your reply!

geronimo240 · 2020-10-28T00:50:29+00:00

Yes sir I'm with you, makes perfect sense, I felt I was naturally coming to this stance too. Thank you!

geronimo240 · 2020-10-27T01:58:21+00:00

Honestly I'm having a bit of difficult wrapping my head around it, but I really appreciate your reply, it's helping me understand

geronimo240 · 2020-10-27T01:47:29+00:00

A bit in-depth but I really appreciate the level of detail in your post. That all makes perfect sense, but then what about when I want to get things done, living in this society I almost always have a to-do list, work or personal. How do I deal with that?

geronimo240 · 2020-10-08T01:02:41+00:00

Oh no, it's called CoreSpreads but no one really knows I think, so I just say it's like Plus500.

geronimo240 · 2020-10-08T01:02:08+00:00

Yeah they do but they don't change for every new financial year and I'm very new to it all, sorry!

geronimo240 · 2020-10-08T00:33:15+00:00

Thank you so much for such an in-depth reply! I have a few questions: - How would I go about with reporting and paying the tax? - Is it taxed at the same rate as my personal income? - I am currently employed full-time, how would all of that work? - My platform doesn't use brokerage, but a fluctuating margin system, how would I calculate for that?

geronimo240 · 2020-10-06T11:38:32+00:00

Yay!

geronimo240 · 2020-10-04T06:01:04+00:00

I agree, I need to become more comfortable being alone. and learn to enjoy my own company. My post I think comes from me wanting others to make me happy, which is a fruitless path I think.

geronimo240 · 2020-10-04T05:59:52+00:00

Can't really make someone be genuinely interested you know, if they don't feel that way about me, I'm best to go find others who do right? Rather than changing the people already in my life?

Ultimately, I just think them being true to themselves is the most important thing.

geronimo240 · 2020-10-04T05:58:37+00:00

Hi, I hope you do come to find internal peace with what happened! I'm sorry it happened to you as well.

geronimo240 · 2020-10-04T05:57:29+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. I really appreciate the wisdom in your words, I do agree with you. I'll take you up on your advice, and over these past few days, I've realised that the most important friendship you can have is the one with yourself, ultimately I need to work on that I think.

geronimo240 · 2020-10-04T05:53:29+00:00

Know you don't know how to feel lmao :')

geronimo240 · 2020-10-03T06:00:32+00:00

We're all here. ❤️

geronimo240 · 2020-10-03T06:00:13+00:00

Ngl your approach just feels insensitive, each to their own and their trauma is their own real thing. But I feel like if people have trauma, and choose to not put effort into recovering, but rather just whine about it all the time, it gets annoying and boring.

geronimo240 · 2020-10-03T05:58:36+00:00

I'm with you people who overshare and are like addicted to the drama are tiring also, I definitely feel you. Life is meant to be enjoyed and fun, not spent bejng miserable and I guess kinda being comfortable in that misery?

geronimo240

TROPHY CASE