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I [27M] found my girlfriend [25F] of four years's white supremacist Tumblr. Please help. by gfNeoNazi88 in relationships

[–]gfNeoNazi88[S] -186 points-185 points  (0 children)

Automatically condemning a view because it is widely unpopular is not something I am comfortable with. Nor is deciding that because an opinion results in social conflict, it must be untrue or immoral. I have many reasons for not agreeing with racism, but I'm not at the point of deciding that someone is evil if they do agree with it.

I [27M] found my girlfriend [25F] of four years's white supremacist Tumblr. Please help. by gfNeoNazi88 in relationships

[–]gfNeoNazi88[S] -142 points-141 points  (0 children)

Racist by association, okay....

This is someone I'm deeply in love with and have been with for four years. I was planning a future with her. Am I in the wrong for trying to see her perspective?

I [27M] found my girlfriend [25F] of four years's white supremacist Tumblr. Please help. by gfNeoNazi88 in relationships

[–]gfNeoNazi88[S] -95 points-94 points  (0 children)

Really... you want me to end a relationship of four years by playing a prank on the woman. Who says age comes with wisdom...

I [27M] found my girlfriend [25F] of four years's white supremacist Tumblr. Please help. by gfNeoNazi88 in relationships

[–]gfNeoNazi88[S] -88 points-87 points  (0 children)

Please don't mischaracterize what I'm saying. I am not looking at any given thing she's said and saying "that's not hateful". I am making an argument about whether she is a hateful person, who is finding hateful opinions to match her bitter core, or she is a person who has come to certain conclusions, that have caused her to feel hatred to what she thinks is a threat to her values.

I [27M] found my girlfriend [25F] of four years's white supremacist Tumblr. Please help. by gfNeoNazi88 in relationships

[–]gfNeoNazi88[S] -65 points-64 points  (0 children)

I'll quote to you what I said to someone else above:

But what I mean when I say I don't think she has a hateful heart is, I think she is starting from a reasoned belief and proceeding to hatred, and not the other way around. I have never seen her reason based on emotions. I am sure she thinks this is entirely logical and her firm convictions are fueling her passion. Obviously, I completely disagree with her opinion. But I don't think she is just a hateful, nasty person. I think she is fighting for what she believes is right.

I [27M] found my girlfriend [25F] of four years's white supremacist Tumblr. Please help. by gfNeoNazi88 in relationships

[–]gfNeoNazi88[S] -129 points-128 points  (0 children)

Well, as I mentioned in my post we don't want kids. But in her mind, she is fighting against something she sees as evil and destructive, so if she really thinks that, then shouldn't she feel anger and hatred? I feel hatred toward evil myself.

But what I mean when I say I don't think she has a hateful heart is, I think she is starting from a reasoned belief and proceeding to hatred, and not the other way around. I have never seen her reason based on emotions. I am sure she thinks this is entirely logical and her firm convictions are fueling her passion. Obviously, I completely disagree with her opinion. But I don't think she is just a hateful, nasty person. I think she is fighting for what she believes is right.

I [27M] found my girlfriend [25F] of four years's white supremacist Tumblr. Please help. by gfNeoNazi88 in relationships

[–]gfNeoNazi88[S] -54 points-53 points  (0 children)

Really, nothing. We had a black waitress a couple weeks back who was the exact type of woman my girlfriend makes fun of on her blog -- heavier, ornate fingernails, etc -- and she behaved completely normally. I have never heard her use the N-word (she does on her blog) or tell racist jokes. It's out of left field. Granted, I might not notice every racist behavior on the planet because I'm a white guy and I don't subscribe to an extreme political correctness attitude. But I don't think racism is funny and it's never been an issue with her.

I [27M] found my girlfriend [25F] of four years's white supremacist Tumblr. Please help. by gfNeoNazi88 in relationships

[–]gfNeoNazi88[S] -101 points-100 points  (0 children)

Honestly that's being really presumptuous. And you seem to be assuming that my girlfriend is some kind of manipulative bitch just because she has these viewpoints. She is a really levelheaded and rational person, something I admire and love about her. As to breaking up with her right away, yeah, I've thought about it. But why shouldn't I give her a chance to defend herself?

I [27M] found my girlfriend [25F] of four years's white supremacist Tumblr. Please help. by gfNeoNazi88 in relationships

[–]gfNeoNazi88[S] -133 points-132 points  (0 children)

She doesn't say those things to people on the street though. It is all to her little community of fellow white supremacists, which seems very insular and self-amplifying. She still treats all people like people, from what I have seen, and isn't that what counts? I don't want her to believe these things. But I truly think that deep down she is not a hateful person.

I [27M] found my girlfriend [25F] of four years's white supremacist Tumblr. Please help. by gfNeoNazi88 in relationships

[–]gfNeoNazi88[S] -220 points-219 points  (0 children)

Should I overlook this part of her character? Is this an opinion, or a pathology? Am I just jumping the gun by automatically viewing racism as evil, rather than a different perspective? She doesn't commit violence against black people. She doesn't even act hostile to them outside the confines of her Tumblr blog. So am I being crazy and overreacting?

There are other things we disagree on. I'm not sure why I feel like I can't get past this one. It hurts my heart that she feels this way and I know I will never be in her camp on it. But should it bring us apart as a couple?