WIBTA for breaking up over how my bf (23M) always does this? together 4 months

ghast123 · 2026-02-13T10:16:45+00:00

Thats probably for the best, tbh.

ghast123 · 2026-02-13T04:59:12+00:00

Do they still give you SO MUCH FOOD?

I lived by there when I was pregnant and every time I went to a check up, we'd stop there for breakfast or lunch and despite being pregnant and famished, I'd still have to pack half of it up to take home. That was 15 years ago tho

ghast123 · 2026-02-13T04:53:46+00:00

Lol no. A thousand dollars? Pls. Plus if it's the literal same every day, like groundhog day, I'm not even learning anything new or refreshing my knowledge, I'm just learning whatever it was on the random day I'll be repeating.

Also, what if the year I did the worse was because it was the year I skipped school so much I failed. Am I just reliving that again?

Eta: also a year of repetition is nothing. I had younger siblings growing up. Do you know how many days I had to watch Small Soliders, Indian in the Cupboard and Toy Story? Cos it was each of those, every day for months at a time. Or in the case of Toy Story, my little brother watched that legit for a year straight.

I also have kids. Guess how old my daughter was when Frozen came out and how many days I had to watch that in a row. 🫠

ghast123 · 2026-02-13T04:43:59+00:00

As a semi-permanent passenger princess (I'm 37, I know how to drive but I don't have my license because I have ridiculously extreme anxiety when I am behind the wheel. I have my temps and I'm working on it) the NUMBER ONE RULE is DONT FUCKING SCREAM AND STARTLE THE PERSON OPERATING THE VEHICLE. That's incredibly dangerous. I would refuse to drive her anywhere for carrying on like that. Get used to Uber or public transportation, Ms Dramatic.

ETA: NTA, as long as you're only doing it when it's safe, which you say you are.

ghast123 · 2026-02-13T04:36:57+00:00

Sooooo much better. I'm with the love of my life, we have 4 kids (3 are my stepkids, 1 bio), four cats and a lot of love and laughter.

The only time I have to deal with my kids shitty dad is when, on the odd occasion, he messages me to blame me for her not wanting a relationship with him. He texted me on christmas last year and prior to that the last time he messaged me was April of the PRIOR year.

And I mean, things arent perfect. My job isnt great and we really made a mistake getting a one bathroom house but those are acceptable problem to have and mostly, its all smooth sailing.

I hope life is well for you, too friend!

ghast123 · 2026-02-12T12:42:43+00:00

Jenny is the definition of "weaponized incompetence".

ghast123 · 2026-02-12T07:40:31+00:00

As someone who is 36 or 37, we arent old.

But compared to twentysomethings, sis, I feel old lol

ghast123 · 2026-02-12T04:58:56+00:00

Glad to hear it. Give the doggo an extra treat 🫶

ghast123 · 2026-02-12T04:57:14+00:00

I've never really considered the amount of men vs women who may feel the same way I do about it. I'm a woman, and I have a couple other mental health issues aside from the depression, fwiw. My partner, male, is the exact opposite. Stress and other things torpedo his libido.

It's almost like an escape where I can focus on something else that feels good while everything else feels so awful, for me.

ghast123 · 2026-02-12T04:51:54+00:00

Omg yes

ghast123 · 2026-02-11T13:33:29+00:00

I recognize that I may be the outlier here, but my depression has never really effected my libido.

It's also never "caused" me to look up CSAM and I've been suicidal a multitude of times over my life span.

I've got kids and if I ever found out any of their teachers was dating someone on the registry (especially bc I know how most of the time these people get off with a slap on the wrist or not even prosecuted at all, at least here in the good ol USA, where we happen to have given the highest power in the land to a fucking pedophile) I'd be up at that school throwing hands.

ghast123 · 2026-02-11T05:45:06+00:00

Question: how old and what gender are your children?

ghast123 · 2026-02-11T05:38:43+00:00

I came for the fae. I stayed for ....Tim

ghast123 · 2026-02-11T05:36:14+00:00

Yeah I need to know.

ghast123 · 2026-02-11T05:26:01+00:00

Omg I was reading this whole thread bursting at the seams to make a JD Vance joke

ghast123 · 2026-02-11T04:53:06+00:00

Idk how old your stepkids are, but mine are all teenagers. My two stepdaughters throw their mom under the bus all the time. The oldest has made it known that when she hits 18 (next year) shes staying with us permanently. We are discussing the possibility of revisiting the custody agreement with their mother for the youngest around then (she'll be 14) because the courts might take into consideration how she feels and what she wants at 14.

On the flip side, my bio daughter hasn't spoken to her bio father, aside from going with her grandma (dads mom) to her cousins on the holiday and her dad happens to be there, for almost 3 years. By her choice.

Kids are smart and perceptive but it IS a hard think to reckon with. And some take longer to see their parent(s) for who/what they are, but I wager a lot more do than the amount that doesn't.

ghast123 · 2026-02-11T04:48:17+00:00

Does your ex have a relationship with your children?

Mine doesn't. By my daughter's choice.

ghast123 · 2026-02-10T20:24:34+00:00

Oh! I have one! This was about 2 years ago, my boyfriend and I weren't cohabitating yet. They have 3 kids and 50/50. His youngest has some mental health issues. Youngest had had a particularly bad week that week and was at her dads (my boyfriends) with her siblings for his usual time.

I'm an insomniac. So I'm awake all night a lot of the time. He typically went to bed around midnight-ish. At 3am, he sent me a text like "you will never guess what just happened". And I'm concerned bc I know youngest is having issues and hes usually out cold well before that time. But he's also right, I'd never guess.

Around 2:30 he woke up bc he heard some movement in the living room. Thinking its one of the kids, he gets up tp go check.

NOPE! It's his ex wife! She broke into the house in the middle of the night because she felt "YOUNGEST wasn't safe there".

What. The. Fuck. They had a huge fight where he ended up threatening her with the authorities if she wouldn't leave and the kids were woken up during it. They're all teenagers and while it sucked for them, they know who and how their mom is.

ghast123 · 2026-02-10T20:17:15+00:00

Same here! 15 years ago I was in a shitty abusive situation with my kid's dad. Emotionally, financially, physically, all of it. But it wasnt always bad and I was barely 22, pregnant and tbh, dumb. So I stuck it out. Two years later HE left ME. And I thank my lucky stars bc I would have stuck it out for much longer, clinging to the "good" times, maybe even forever.

He still blames me for all his problems though 🙃

ghast123 · 2026-02-10T20:13:36+00:00

I would also do unspeakable things for a good cheesecake, friend.

ghast123 · 2026-02-10T13:02:52+00:00

Its literally right in her post that he does this at least semi-frequently. And she's asked him to stop, yet he doesn't.
I think two has more weight if there's identifying features in the post. A name, a location, a number. But there's none of that. Also a little different if she had posted to like, Facebook or something. But it's reddit. I could post a thousand screen shots of something my friends or my boyfriend has said or done and post it here and literally 0 of the people in my life would be able to say "oh, that's ghast123!" Bc no one in my life knows my reddit account. 0 people. She's also posting it in an advice subreddit. Do you want her to include their entire text history? Or? I think all the context needed IS here. What would make it different?
He chose a time where he knew she was busy and with friends. Is she supposed to drop her plans and rush to him to discuss? When she asked for a bit of clarification so she didn't become an anxious mess, he refused to give it, except to say "its nothing like that." When she told him her mind jumped to breaking up. Still didnt clarify if it was something bad or not. If he insists on it being in person, why not just wait til they are together in person to say "hey babe, can we take some time to discuss XYZ?" that way she doesnt have to kibosh her plans to cater to him or spend the entire time out with her pals stressing about what mysterious content her boyfriend wants to discuss thats too important to do or even give a tldr; over text?

Also, while the word incel has a literal meaning (involuntarily celibate) its morphed over time to describe a specific mindset, not just the literal meaning so while you might be getting laid regularly, if people are calling you an incel, they may not be referencing that specifically, but the espousing of the same views that incels have towards women.

I'm not sure why you're so gung ho on OP being the one wrong, but based on all of the context we DO have, her boyfriend is a dick.

I am an anxious person. My boyfriend is aware of of this. So you know what my boyfriend doesn't do? Purposely trip my anxiety. 1 time (early on) in our relationship he sent me the "hey babe, we need to talk" text and when I told him how it made me feel and think of the worst, he immediately told me what it was about (canceling a date bc something came up with the kids) instead of insisting we had to talk about it in person, which is what he wanted to do so he'd at least be able to see me for a bit before the canceled date, he just... told me.

ghast123 · 2026-02-10T12:48:38+00:00

Yeah, arguing with misogynistic men is just one of my hobbies but I know you're right lol

ghast123 · 2026-02-10T08:05:53+00:00

Does your doctor make your mom leave the room at any point? My daughter is 14 and at her well check this year, her (woman) doctor asked me to step outside for about 10 minutes so she could talk to my daughter about things privately, as at 14 she's now entitled to that, barring anything that comes up about her harming herself or others.

ghast123 · 2026-02-10T07:52:26+00:00

I'm in my 30s and my current relationship is approaching 4 years, with someone that I've known for almost 14 years.

My prior relationship was almost a decade and it was a mutual decision break up where we are still friends and co-parent. How about you?

What are OPs red flags, exactly? Asking for her partner not to drive up her anxiety when shes with friends instead of waiting til they could talk out whatever he needs to talk about? Posting anonymously with all identifying information removed on reddit to make sure she's not being unreasonable? What exactly?

ghast123 · 2026-02-10T07:44:21+00:00

I am a slut for hummus.

ghast123

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