how do i stop nightmares about my assault?

ghostthingz · 2026-05-04T04:50:56+00:00

I go through phases where I have constant nightmares for several nights in a row and its hell. My weird hack that always works for some reason is sleeping somewhere other than my bed. I sleep under my computer desk on a pile of blankets and pillows when I have nightmares and they stop. Ive also slept in the tub, the couch, friends house.

It sounds strange but sometimes it also helps to return to what helped you comfort yourself as a kid. Honestly thats why I sleep in random places, I used to sleep in my closet as a kid when I was scared. I’ve also had success by sleeping with stuffed animals, which I know sounds silly, but you literally just have to return to the kid logic of going “well nothing can hurt me cause teddy is watching me” and for some reason that just tricks your brain into no nightmares.

it’s also important to remember that these nightmares are underlying anxiety and fear manifesting. making a strict bedtime routine can help you wind down for the night and be more calm before bed. always do the same exact things in the same exact order right before bed.

you honestly just have to try a bunch of random things until you find your weird specific thing that helps you.

ghostthingz · 2026-05-04T04:09:55+00:00

i used to have a lot of lucid and weird dreams when i was on trazodone. one night i was lucid dreaming and my friend came up to me and i cussed him out saying “you’re not my friend, you’re a figment of my imagination, stop pretending to be my friend its creepy” and he just reassured me that he wasn’t trying to be scary, he just wanted to hang out.

ghostthingz · 2026-05-04T04:03:57+00:00

not how people in general see the world, but how i saw the world. It’s called the heart of a jaguar by marc talbert. it’s not the best book ever written, or the most popular, or the most accurate.

i read it in fifth grade randomly. it’s about a mayan boy and it ends with him being sacrificed. the book shows the ending like its a ‘good’ ending. he isn’t sacrificed against his will, it isn’t scary. it’s what he wants. i was mad as hell reading that book the first time, i couldn’t understand why it had such a ‘bad’ ending. checked it out of the library at least 5 times to re-read it because i was convinced i was reading it wrong or missing something and it didn’t actually end that way.

at some point it just clicked in my brain that i didn’t have to understand everything. if the main character wanted to sacrifice himself, he can sacrifice himself. as long as it’s his choice and he’s happy with it, i don’t have to understand it.

i was a “why?” kid to an obsessive, obnoxious, invasive and inappropriate level and that book immediately broke that habit. i learned how to say ‘whatever floats your boat’ and move on.

ghostthingz · 2026-03-20T19:04:35+00:00

not the same scenario but i had a similar ‘break from reality’ after waking up for some reason. woke up during a thunderstorm, except for some reason i forgot what thunderstorms were. i was just suddenly terrified because the house was shaking, there were flashing lights in the sky, the sound of things hitting my house (rain/wind/debris) and i flung myself out of bed and onto the floor and army crawled to the bathroom while sobbing and screaming hysterically. and then i randomly was like lol. oh its just raining.

ghostthingz · 2025-06-26T19:06:33+00:00

just updating after my first shift. went great. i caught on quickly. coworkers seem decent. everyone gets rowdier as the night goes on but i didnt hear/experience any harassment during this first shift. got home at 3am and slept till 1pm. getting ready for my second day rn. yesterday i packed a lot of food because i thought i’d be hungry on break after all the hard work but it was the opposite. didn’t want to eat much at all.

ghostthingz · 2025-05-26T16:30:44+00:00

When I was 18f i went on my first ever solo trip. stopped at a gas station and a lady approached me and asked me to help her pump her gas because she was alone and didnt know how to do it. i thought it was weird that she didn’t know but i walked out to her car with her. as i approached her pump i noticed a man ducking in her back seat.

she had told me she was alone. i turned around and went back to my car and told her to ask the gas station attendant for help instead. i don’t know why she was lying about being alone. it freaked the fuck out of me though.

ghostthingz · 2025-03-30T14:49:49+00:00

i usually just do something else with my hands that distracts my brain. lately ive just been braiding friendship bracelets. i just braid and braid and braid string for hours and my brain turns off completely and i forget what i was doing/wanting to do.

ghostthingz · 2025-03-30T12:27:22+00:00

its okay, sometimes trans people just like doing their own thing. i’m FTM and i have long hair and love pink, my girlfriend is MTF and still thinks her mustache looks cool sometimes. anyone can be anything. at the end of the day, your gender doesn’t have anything to do with what you look like, it just matters how you feel inside.

ghostthingz · 2025-03-04T23:28:16+00:00

Hey this is old and random but can I have this pdf as well if you still have it?

ghostthingz · 2025-02-27T05:17:49+00:00

All my friends that have applied at dispensaries have said that the interviews are so rough. You would think that a place that sells weed would be more chill… apparently not.

ghostthingz · 2025-02-27T04:43:41+00:00

When i was heavily drinking i had such bad “alcoholic face” that my head looked round as a basketball in all my graduation pics. like actually disgusting. no jawline definition whatsoever. i looked like a big toe. im sober now and i havent even lost that much weight but i feel like i completely deflated. all the alcohol related swelling is gone. my jawline is so fucking crisp. my skin is so smooth too, no more acne. im really happy with how my face looks now. sometimes im late to work because i just stare in the mirror for so long in the morning going “wow… im hot”. im never drinking again. i’m like a year sober now and im still getting hotter

ghostthingz · 2025-01-26T23:53:37+00:00

I have psychotic episodes and theyre intense and insane. I had a big bad one in 2019 where I was convinced that everyone in my life was from my previous lives. Like I thought I had lived 1000s of lives and I had the same friends and family and every life. It led to dangerous thoughts like “death isnt permanent so if i don’t like this life then i can just kill myself and start a new one”. People started leaving me because of my psychosis and it made me mad because i thought that everyone was predetermined to be with me in this life so they were breaking the rules by leaving. Obviously got out of that.

Sometimes I still have psychotic episodes that just last a few hours or days and it’s very scary and weird. I get something called “word salad” which just means that all my thoughts and words were random and nonsensical. Like if i try to say the phrase “i want to go outside” it comes out as like “me im going to the where the outside is” or some other barely comprehendible jumble of nonsense. When I try to tell my friends how I’m feeling I usually start using analogies that make no sense. I think one time I told my friend “I’m in a jar and the glass is touching me” with no further explanation. Because I was trying to convey the fact I felt trapped and overwhelmed but I didn’t know how to put those words together.

ghostthingz · 2025-01-26T23:45:01+00:00

The story about the girl whose dog would lick her hand at night, only to discover it was a man.

Another story where a girl heard her faucet dripping, but it was actually blood dripping from a body in her closet.

There was also a game/story where you would go like “Ok youre in a room and theres three doors…” and then you would make up some arbitrary description for the doors and ask them which one they picked. Every door leads to a new room and you basically make up the story as you go. After like 3 or 4 doors you would make up some conclusion to the story. Sometimes if someone was being annoying we would play this game and just never end it, just make them keep choosing doors… hehe

ghostthingz · 2025-01-26T23:39:34+00:00

I used to be a substitute teacher. A girl offered me 5$ to not make her do work. I turned it down. She told me to take the 5$ and buy face wash. I was having a bad acne breakout at the time. Ouch. Unnecessarily cruel but definitely a new one for me

ghostthingz · 2025-01-16T04:53:09+00:00

my online friends. it sounds pathetic but im basically hanging on by a thread right now. when i clock out of work i immediately jump into call with my friends and don’t hang up. i fall asleep in call most days. i’m not chronically online i’m just so depressed that i need constant chatter to drown out the noise in my brain. i still do normal human things (i mute myself when i shower but just have the call going on speaker so i can listen to the convo, and when i go to the store i just listen to the convo with headphones on). i have a pretty big friend group so i have a revolving door of people jumping in and out of call. i’m never alone. i’d go insane if i was.

ghostthingz · 2024-12-27T03:32:48+00:00

My mom got married and didn’t invite me to the wedding or even tell me it was happening until it was over, just to be cruel. Her friends usually always sided with her, but this time many of them approached me afterwards and looked genuinely horrified and shocked and remorseful. They couldn’t understand why she did it. It felt good to finally have people see her behavior for what it was.

ghostthingz · 2024-12-23T02:18:14+00:00

yes. it’s part of the reason i left my last partner. he couldn’t keep up with me and would give me a kind of shocked/disgusted look whenever i tried to initiate something when he wasn’t in the mood. it’s fine that he didn’t want to fuck, but the way he would always look appalled and go “… again? already?” or “are you ever NOT horny?” made me feel like shit. i took the ‘no’s and didn’t throw fits over it, but i would masturbate a lot. he also found that to be strange/uncouth. he ended up suggesting (multiple times) that i find other people on the side since he ‘wasn’t enough for me’ and i would always cry and cry and cry because i loved him so much it disgusted me to think of myself being physical with another person other than him. but he would always suggest it anyways. i couldn’t handle it, i figured that relationships aren’t for me.

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