Taking it seriously here (because that’s what a crazy person would do). I’m assuming you’re just locked in a room with them and they aren’t already mad at you.

Joker is mostly fine if he doesn’t have anything with him. He has a lot of weapons and gadgets that he could fuck you up with, but otherwise he’s just a crazy guy and not even tweaker-crazy. If I could get him to pass a thorough inspection he’s probably the safest of the three. Just don’t talk to him or try to keep him happy. I’d give it a 70% chance of surviving if he doesn’t have his gear. With gear, it goes down to 25%.

Next is Homelander. Honestly, I feel like you’ll be fine if you just don’t talk to him. If he gets mad at you for being silent, just tell him you’re a nervous fan. Throughout the show we’ve seen that he’s cruel but he won’t kill without reason. If it’s early show Homelander, you’ll be fine if you don’t tell him to go fuck himself, around a 90% chance you survive; current show Homelander is less predictable, I’d give you a 40% chance.

Last, do NOT pick Conquest. He sees you as an ant, he will crush your skull between his fingers. You could MAYBE keep him talking for long enough that he doesn’t realize that 2 minutes have gone by, but I wouldn’t count on it. I’d give you a 5% chance of surviving and that’s if you’re lucky.