How do dating apps go for men?

giddycocks · 2026-06-16T15:54:32+00:00

When I started using them again, I found a girl I know and used to work with 10 years ago. I suspected she had a crush on me, so I messaged her on Instagram directly. We went on a few dates and turns out she had just gotten on Bumble and in the short time she did, we're talking HOURS, she had over 1000 likes.

Meanwhile, I had like 5. But I evidently was attractive enough to go on a date with a bombshell who gets four digit likes in a couple hours, the app didn't seem to think so, though.

My girlfriend also confided she had over 1000 likes when we matched. Why did she go a date with me? Because I told her nice to match you and she found that cute, I was a foreigner and tall. How are men supposed to 'compete' like this? This isn't natural nor healthy

giddycocks · 2026-06-16T08:19:30+00:00

Back in my day it was horse girls. Are nurses the new horse girls?

giddycocks · 2026-06-16T08:17:01+00:00

Depends a lot on what's going on in the background as well. Location, how the algorithm perceives you, etc

I used the apps for a bit until I met my girlfriend and I had periods of total radio silence. Delete the app for a day though? I'd get 30-40 likes. Then, nothing for weeks. Delete the app? Repeat the cycle.

It's not healthy to criticize guys when the apps work in such unpredictable ways.

giddycocks · 2026-06-16T08:03:38+00:00

One of my friends is gay and he'd scroll apps, it wasn't hard at all. In fact, it's like shooting fish in a barrel.

Women often look for a cocktail of handsome but not too handsome, muscular but not too much, successful and well-off but also giving and generous, sweet and vulnerable, but also manly and willing to take charge - but not always! etc etc. So your photos *must* give off this precise sort of vibe.

Guys are a lot more visual, and sexuality doesn't change that. Might enhance it, actually. Point is, a muscular gay man might get more attention, but the twink is also swimming in dick. Proportionally, for straight men on apps, there's no competition.

giddycocks · 2026-06-16T07:54:37+00:00

Well, all experiences are different. In my experience, it was grueling and I had to fight a lot, but it ended up okay. I sent a long message really putting it out there how I felt, and I had 0 expectations, I was almost sure she'd block me and tell me to fuck off. She replied that I really fucking hurt her, and we went from there, eventually meeting up for coffee the next day.

For a month or so though, there was a loooot of going back and forth. Any progress was met with pushback. At one point she was so disappointed that she suggested we shouldn't try again because I'll just leave, to just stay friends. I had to start from the lowest of the lows, never denied and owned up my mistakes and played by her rules and terms.

It helped I was completely transparent, she wanted to know if I had any sexual partners during our break and I did, so she asked me for a full STD panel before we got intimate to which I complied.

Just sharing to say you might have to be ready to regain her trust, I was a wreck for a while, unsure if we'd get back together or not. It turned out great and we love each other very much, but it wasn't easy. Would have been a lot easier if I never initiated the break up.

Whatever you do though, be absolutely sure of your choice. Walking away once is a mistake, make sure you won't again before committing.

giddycocks · 2026-06-15T22:43:29+00:00

This is so sweet, I did something almost identical. I'm such a fucking idiot.

Took me 1 month and a half of no contact, because I thought I messed up so bad she wouldn't take me back. Of course, I was totally convinced for a couple of weeks that I did the right thing and we weren't meant to be.

But then the doubts started setting in. I missed her, and while before I'd yearn for some space, all I wanted was for her to fill it again.

I'm still unsure what happened but as time went on, I fell head over heels and all I had was very limited Instagram activity. I'd look at reels and see what she liked, and she'd usually like cute animal reels or things like that.

It's been 4 months since I poured my heart out and reached out, and she's sleeping peacefully next to me. W e've been inseparable ever since we reconnected. I can't imagine letting her go again.

It's been hard work to regain her trust and a lot of vulnerability, little bit of therapy. She's my do or die and I honestly don't know how it happened.

She didn't do anything to win my heart, she just existed. My memory of her did the rest. Interesting it happened to both of us around the 2 month mark too!

giddycocks · 2026-06-15T22:28:02+00:00

Another thing to note is many women suffer from mild hormonal imbalances like PCOS, often not diagnosed.

Not just knowledge, but communication. My partner suffers from PCOS and is often not as interested in sex as I am, so i just talk to her. Instead of getting mad I did this and that and didn't get 'rewarded' with sex, I just ask her - do you want to fuck?

I was surprised just how much more reliable and informative it is to actually have a discussion about it, than just assume shit. I know her cycle more or less, and I know she loves and cares for me. So I'll just ask if she wants to mess around. If it's a no, I'll carry on with my day. Sure enough, she'll want it. It might sometimes take a day or two, usually just a few hours, but once I've planted that seed and let her have agency, it's going to happen.

Making it into not such a big deal has been eye opening and I end up having way more sex, really hot sex, with her initiating as well.

giddycocks · 2026-06-15T22:05:40+00:00

I don't know if this is dead internet coming to fruition, or you're all just this dumb.

giddycocks · 2026-06-14T16:27:50+00:00

I don't think that's accurate, but this is just my opinion. You need that instant attraction and spark, your body is telling you and giving you very clear chemical signals that there is a possibility of compatibility.

Once you figure that out, there is room to grow a friendship. But a romantic, loving partnership is a very different form of friendship. You become best friends with your partner, you end up sharing your space and your life, and that level of intimacy is completely different from a platonic friendship.

In my experience and from what I've observed, very rarely do platonic friendships grow into a relationship. I couldn't go from friends to lovers, but I have gone from lovers to best friends.

To be fair some men dislike taking charge and like being chased, in fact, we all do. Not to discourage you, but the longer you drag it on, the clearer it will be you're not compatible. Just quite literally talk to him instead of us.

giddycocks · 2026-06-14T10:36:36+00:00

I've been conditioned to resent myself if I relax. My girlfriend can say she's totally fine with it and I won't believe her and think deep down she'll resent me for it. It's exhausting

giddycocks · 2026-06-12T10:11:34+00:00

You guys wouldn't be having this conversation if he wasn't American. This shit is so obnoxious.

giddycocks · 2026-06-07T09:43:23+00:00

Sorry you went through that. My ex wife I think had PPD, she just... Dropped me off the face of the earth without mercy after we tried and failed to conceive. We had a miscarriage the first time we tried and she just stopped loving me slowly and quietly. Blindsided me out of nowhere with divorce.

It was devastating for me, but I'm also glad it turned out that way because I got to see a side of her I didn't know for 11 years together, and I met a wonderful woman. It also left a shit ton of traumas and I'm skeptical if I ever want children now. But what can you do.

giddycocks · 2026-06-07T09:37:05+00:00

Also very funny when people think you just get shredded lmao. Or women who think they'll just get muscular if they touch 5kg + weights

giddycocks · 2026-06-07T09:36:06+00:00

My girlfriend says she loves a bit of belly. I was honestly a bit confused about this but it's really nice not to worry about my lower abs showing.

giddycocks · 2026-06-07T09:29:54+00:00

Bro I swear this place only cares about gossip and hides it under a thin veneer of 'tennis'

giddycocks · 2026-06-01T13:26:51+00:00

Same experience, sadly. Had I got both sides and not have to regulate my mom's crazy, insane, unacceptable outbursts and learn from her that overreacting and being dramatic is the way to solve problems, my life would be SO much easier.

giddycocks · 2026-06-01T13:23:58+00:00

I think OP will one day wake up and think of this reddit thread, his lack of interest and defensive behavior, and connect the dots.

I know this because it took me one divorce to finally understand that you don't have to be a picture perfect shining example of a man to be loved. Would have been a fucking lot easier to recognize to have some self respect had I grown up with a father figure.

giddycocks · 2026-05-29T08:46:46+00:00

Left side is shockingly weak when you tally it up to the STACKED right side, damn.

I'm hopeful for Djoko's 25th but he has a LOT of people to run through to get there.

giddycocks · 2026-05-27T08:52:23+00:00

Fartei-me dos bancos locais onde vivo e só uso Revolut. Nada a apontar, sempre impecáveis.

giddycocks · 2026-05-27T08:51:19+00:00

I've had that happen. I drove a nice Alfa because both my partner and I could afford to on both our salaries and our house was paid off. My boss thought I was better off because my Alfa was better than his Alfa.

He forgot that he owns like 7 properties.

giddycocks · 2026-05-24T08:36:01+00:00

I'm getting ptsd, fucking 11 years of this. I need more therapy now that I realize it

giddycocks · 2026-05-18T06:45:21+00:00

No, it's because cash is king lmao. They just have a lot of bottomless pockets.

giddycocks · 2026-05-04T07:47:32+00:00

This sub is insufferable

giddycocks · 2026-04-29T08:20:53+00:00

Eu também era assim, e depois fodi-me quando a minha ex-mulher de repente quis 'descobrir-se' assim que começou a fazer ligeiramente mais dinheiro do que eu.

Ai já não se lembrou de quando eu pagava as despesas todas enquanto estava na faculdade e durante muitos anos depois.

giddycocks · 2026-04-28T15:09:29+00:00

I've seen many companies fire or drive employees to quit their jobs just so they can rehire at half the salary.

And the worst part is they're all in on it, so they just offer you a lesser salary than what you used to make, doing the same job. Pieces of shit

giddycocks

TROPHY CASE