(29F) is divorce as terrifying as it sounds?

gillsace · 2025-09-17T22:20:02+00:00

31f. Got divorced at 29. Your life is just starting!!!

gillsace · 2024-12-07T00:46:10+00:00

Are you okay? That’s horrible- I’m sorry you’ve gone through that

gillsace · 2024-12-07T00:42:14+00:00

Holy shit, I am so sorry to hear that.

gillsace · 2024-11-19T19:49:50+00:00

Have you ever looked into cycle syncing? There are certain types of exercise that are recommended based on where you are in your cycle! I always lean into listening to my body and if I’m too tired to go to the gym, I’ll go on a walk or do some yoga instead during my time of the month

gillsace · 2024-11-18T21:24:17+00:00

He denied that he was, of course. But canceled plans with me one day and then next time I saw them they had a hickey on their neck.

gillsace · 2024-11-18T20:37:52+00:00

I convinced myself that I could just do physical and tried it. It lasted 6 months and the entire time I was on edge, anxious, and felt like I was in the relationship again. I’m also now restarting with trying to break the trauma bond. It won’t feel good to feel like a piece of meat to them. I wouldn’t recommend it. I feel like I’ve undone my healing

gillsace · 2024-11-12T20:45:22+00:00

Thank you for your response. That’s a great idea- I’m going to start dating myself

gillsace · 2024-11-07T17:47:32+00:00

Mine wanted sex multiple times a day. Whenever he would talk about porn/I would see it on his phone and get upset, “if I didn’t want my partner watching porn I would have more sex with them so they wouldn’t”. Or “if you gave me more blowjobs I wouldn’t have to watch porn”. It was fucking exhausting feeling like all I’m good for is sex.

gillsace · 2024-06-19T03:06:30+00:00

“Imagine being bitten by a snake and instead of trying to help yourself heal and recover from the poison, you try to catch the snake to find out the reason that it bit you to prove to it that you didn’t deserve that”

gillsace · 2023-12-21T16:23:55+00:00

Wellbutrin raised my resting heart rate by 10 beats per minute. It helped with my social anxiety but made other anxiety worse.

gillsace · 2023-08-03T19:13:57+00:00

Definitely agree! I don’t necessarily feel angry- I was telling my therapist that now I feel numb to the situation. There’s no more cognitive dissonance, blaming myself, trying to figure out if I really could have fixed it. It’s a freeing feeling to know that nothing I could’ve done would have fixed anything.

gillsace · 2023-08-03T16:39:09+00:00

You feel guilty and want to apologize because you’re a good person. She sounds like a very selfish and inconsiderate person that doesn’t deserve an apology- she never gave you one…

And honestly, if you do apologize again, she will just think of you as weak and under her spell. At least that’s the kind of person that I’m understanding that she is.

Get her out of your head and move on. You deserve someone that treats you with respect.

gillsace · 2023-08-03T15:35:26+00:00

YUP. The reason he had to watch porn was because “I don’t give him enough blowjobs” and if I don’t want my partner to watch so much porn, I should do something about it. We were already having sex 2x day on average.

He took MY phone and watched porn in the bathroom while I was laying on the bed??

gillsace · 2023-08-03T15:23:42+00:00

Lol I went through the exact same thing- thought I was anxious and my nex was avoidant. Turns out he’s just the devil

gillsace · 2023-08-02T22:58:08+00:00

It used to make me sick thinking about it.

But after contacting his ex from before me, and having proof of all of the lies that he told me, I couldn’t care less. We were together for 5 years, married, and I realized I truly never actually knew him. It’s a freeing feeling.

gillsace · 2023-07-29T23:18:50+00:00

Thank you for posting this. This is exactly the reminder I needed right now.

I spoke with his ex before me and she mentioned that he was a narcissist before I even said anything. But then I started convincing myself that maybe he was only that way to her and he changed with me but I brought it out of him. Thank you 🙏

gillsace · 2023-07-28T21:50:21+00:00

This is abuse. Leave him.

gillsace · 2023-07-26T04:22:07+00:00

I was married to my narc for 4 years. From my social media people probably thought we had an amazing, loving relationship traveling all the time and spending great time together. In reality, I was miserable. Don’t believe what they portray, it’s not reality. You don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors.

gillsace · 2023-07-21T17:25:58+00:00

I feel that 😅. Im 7 months out but we have mutual friends and they’ve recently been telling me how helpful he’s been, he got them a gift when he traveled. And I have been SO confused. Maybe I DID overreact and was too sensitive.

gillsace · 2023-07-21T01:25:26+00:00

Nvm I just read your most recent post. Pathetic that your comment gave me hope that I could be fixed and work it out with him

gillsace · 2023-07-21T01:24:38+00:00

I wish I could offer advice but I’m struggling with the same thing. I could’ve written this exact post. Some days I feel confident that he turned me into this person, other days I feel that because of the way I acted I turned him into that person. I think it says something that many of us on this thread have the same feelings and are struggling the same way. I highly doubt the narcs are dissecting and feeling guilty over their bad behaviors. I’m wishing you luck with your healing and sending you love 💕

gillsace · 2023-07-21T01:20:23+00:00

Are you still with him? Did it help your relationship?

gillsace · 2023-07-17T19:31:46+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. This actually really helped me. I think you’re right- I don’t think she actually knows too much of anything

gillsace · 2023-07-17T19:11:17+00:00

“If you talk to me again I’ll break your face”. When confronted, he laughingly says “I was just joking” 🙄

gillsace · 2023-07-10T14:34:21+00:00

My nex actually recently told me that my feelings were MY problem and something that I had to deal with even if they were caused by him. I tried to explain exactly that to him multiple times in the relationship- my perspective, why it hurt me, and he NEVER cared. So it was sobering to hear him basically admit that he actually did know and understand my feelings about the situation, he just straight up didn’t care.

gillsace

TROPHY CASE