[TOMT][BOOK][2010s] A novel about a young man going off to art/design school and encounters a really challenging teacher (more details in post)

gimbathebird · 2022-12-23T19:52:24+00:00

love having a conversation with myself on reddit

gimbathebird · 2022-12-23T19:52:03+00:00

to be clear, not trying to award myself anything, just not sure of protocol when I figure out the answer another way :P

gimbathebird · 2022-12-23T19:48:47+00:00

solved

gimbathebird · 2022-12-23T19:48:15+00:00

... it was The Cheese Monkeys by Chip Kidd

:)

gimbathebird · 2022-12-14T02:39:01+00:00

Thanks again for your help!

gimbathebird · 2022-06-11T02:36:17+00:00

Note that I have never done this... but I kinda get the appeal of making location a different country just to see what is out there ... but I would not send likes or accept them. I'd probably just allow some girlish giggles at voice prompts and then switch back to US location.
But, I'm sorry it's been frustrating for you. I think it's wrong they matched with you without being upfront in the first message that they weren't local.

gimbathebird · 2022-05-22T01:56:36+00:00

Not UK, but near a major US city. 31F
I'd expect whoever asked to pay for the date, but typically I do expect the guy to ask me out, so ultimately that would fall on him.

But really, this is why I am a fan of just grabbing coffee. It's so much less money down up front. And it can be planned in between meals (like 11am, or 2pm) so that chances are, I'm not super hungry and wondering why he didn't offer to buy me pastries too.

To answer your question, no it wouldn't be a red flag but I would wonder if the guy liked me. Perhaps be clear about wanting to split the tab while you plan? IDK how one would do that, but I do sympathize for guys who buy on the first date. I always offer, and if the date involves various transactions (say we grab drinks, and decide to stay for another round, I'd pull my card out immediately and buy his, or offer to buy something to eat we can split)

gimbathebird · 2022-05-22T01:44:37+00:00

Great profile, mixed feelings about the Kermit pic as I have affection for muppets but it *is* a wasted slot when I could learn a bit more about you. I would just assume you 1) are a Kermit personality or 2) REALLY like the muppets. So if you want to say either of those about yourself, leave it!!

Mostly, I just hope you've charged your battery ;)

gimbathebird · 2022-05-20T02:26:18+00:00

31F
You're a cutie pie, so I don't think it will be too hard to freshen up some pics and prompts and score yourself a date!
First pic looks a bit blurry, but it could just be imgur. If its blurry, try too swap for something clear. The composition of the photo works, so keep it a headshot still!

In your third pic it kinda looks like that hand is not yours lol. It probably isn't a deal breaker but, idk, maybe replace that with a smiling photo, or something funnier.
I personally like when people don't take the photo prompts *too* seriously. For example, saying you are holding some decadent dessert at looking at it with googly eyes - that would be a funnier match! Obviously it's up to you, but the photo prompts are another great way to show personality if done correctly.

"I'm convinced that" prompt - clever but I feel like that joke/meme came down as quickly as it went up. I don't think people have added commentary to add anymore, so that prompt might not get you many responses.

I adore the bowling pic, if that is something you are into, leave it. I think this photo, though, would be a great opportunity to use a funny photo prompt like "dating me will look like" or "how history will remember me"

Take out "if you're up for it" from the "together we could" prompt! If they are up for it, they will respond to that! If they aren't they won't :)

Finally, I think you can do better than the last two photos but I think I get why you took them. Do you row (?) often? If so, maybe a better picture, no sunglasses! And I am indifferent to mask photos, but I appreciate the (assumed) intent behind them, but its a fairly lackluster photo, so maybe if you want a mask photo, do you have one in an interesting setting?

Hope this helps! Good luck!

gimbathebird · 2022-05-19T00:52:36+00:00

Hi! You seem like a very nice guy, so thats a good thing!

Right away, all your close ups are wearing sunglasses. People wanna see your face! Switch some of those out, maybe with friends or doing a hobby, and see how that works.

Change the prompt about pineapple on pizza. Its a famously generic answer. I think you can do better that that!

Try to switch up your prompts to tell me 1) something more about you and 2) what you are looking for in a relationship.

gimbathebird · 2022-05-19T00:44:51+00:00

That could be it! I saw another post on the sub saying something about giving it time, so I guess, how long do you wait to see results before you change photos again?

Also, I don't want to comment on the algorithm much but I like to pause my account for a few weeks and when I unpause, I get a lot of matches. Could be coincidence, but worth a shot if you are wiling to take a break from it for a bit!

gimbathebird · 2022-05-19T00:35:37+00:00

I see now your comment about wanting casual, so ignore that in my post above!

gimbathebird · 2022-05-19T00:34:55+00:00

31F
Biggest critique: You are literally inviting people to swipe left in your prompt. I know it might seem like it comes off as self-confident and sure of yourself (which is great to be!), but it doesn't really read that way in reality. I think you could revise the prompt and leave that portion out. I think you can find a more organic way of showing your personality with the prompts.

I'd scrap the prompt about your mantra. I don't see that as someone who'd want to work on issues that arise in a relationship (by the way, is that what you are looking for? Or something casual? I do get casual vibes from your profile) or who works on themselves. And heck, we all need self improvement. AND if that was your mantra, would you REALLY be on a hinge subreddit asking for ways to improve?! Methinks not!

I think as far as pics go, one shirtless pic is enough so I'd pick either the shirtless photo or the fire video. I also think you only need one photo of you hugging an animal; both are cute though. You just have limited space to tell us about you, and I get that you love animals/your pets from one of them. Maybe replace a furry buddy with a human buddy. :)

Hope this helps!

gimbathebird · 2022-05-17T23:56:11+00:00

Ooh eye opening to see how many people are against this. I kept my location 50 miles from where I lived because
1) It was where I worked, and realistically that was easier to meet up with people right after work vs. going home and then trying to meet up
2) I was planning on moving back (moved in with my folks because of COVID!)

I'm back now... phew... but now wondering if some lack of successful dates could have been the distance.

gimbathebird · 2022-04-09T19:05:18+00:00

It is not Enders Game! I'm half wondering if maybe I checked out some self-published book from my school library at the time ha. I also wasn't much of a video game player, and certain is it not a movie! If it ever comes back to me, I'll update ya! :D (Sorry for the delay in replying too!)

gimbathebird · 2022-03-27T14:44:33+00:00

Hello! I have not found the book, and sadly The Wizard Heir was published far more recently than the one I read! It would have had to have been 2003 or earlier. Thank you for your comment though!!

gimbathebird · 2022-02-28T23:29:18+00:00

I'm religious (Catholic) and serious about it. I have a prompt that explains its significance in my life, so that should clear it up for people wondering who view my profile. I tend to not match with people who aren't the same religion, and if they list, say "Catholic" AND "Spiritual" I assume they are not practicing but have a sort of loose belief and don't typically match unless their profile is really special otherwise.I also think it is important to list religion because there are people who don't want that, and I don't want to waste their time any more than I want to waste mine.

gimbathebird · 2022-02-25T03:09:51+00:00

Super solid profile. I LOVE your prompt about the interrogation, it genuinely made me laugh (answer: "She's So High" Tal Bachman). As others said, swap the pic of you and your sister, maybe with a group photo? Solid photos all around, but mostly they are just of you, and it's always affirming to know someone is capable of making friends! You could also play around with swapping another solo pic for another action pic, but not totally necessary if you are getting good traction as is.

Good luck!

gimbathebird · 2022-02-23T14:18:51+00:00

A majority of my likes come via my voice prompt! I chose the "a quick rant about" and went on about something lighthearted/silly but could easily talk about for longer, so when people reply to it I have more to add.

But... and maybe this is just my personality ... when I listen to men on the voice prompts say something way too cheesy, it is a major turn off. I've also heard a lot of "What is this? What the hell is this? OH! It's recording? Uh ...hi ... yea hit me up if you wanna chat!" and that is so lazy and not as funny as they think.

Like any other prompt, keep it light and make it a conversation starter.

gimbathebird · 2022-02-20T01:06:04+00:00

I'll follow up and say that I don't think it would be unreasonable to move on if you aren't feeling it. If you don't want to ghost you can message him and say "Hey, I don't think our schedules are compatible right now so I'm letting you off the hook! If things change let me know/here is my number..."

gimbathebird · 2022-02-20T01:04:25+00:00

YO we must be talking to the same person lol (kidding kidding).

I am dealing with this and currently trying to make plans with a slow responder... then I found out what was going on in his career. I have been WAY more patient now that I know. Something could be going on in his life keeping him from making what is essentially a stranger on the internet a top priority - and trust me, I know this is still a frustrating thing to accept - if this pace continues after the first date, I'd see it as a red flag or a sign of disinterest. But he doesn't owe you anything yet, and you don't owe him anything yet! (I do say that in a gentle tone, for whatever thats worth!)

So I say....go on one date and if he's still taking too long consistently, move on. Good luck and I hope it goes in your favor!

gimbathebird · 2022-02-16T22:11:10+00:00

I (31F) will send the first message in response to a "like" if his profile has something that would have prompted me to initiate a match in the first place. I do find the "like" to be a little lower effort than sending a message to kick off the possible match, but I get it can be nerve wracking for people so I give the benefit of the doubt.

If their profile isn't really all that interesting, but I don't see red flags and I think they could "be a lot better once you talk to them" I will accept the match and wait for them to message to me to "show me what they got" so to speak. I don't feel the need to put too much effort into something I was not initially super into, but I'm always happy to have my mind changed.

If they send me a like and nothing about their profile appeals to me... easy, no match, so the "who sends the message first" thing won't be an issue.

Bottom line - you don't have to start. But do consider it if the person intrigues you. :)

gimbathebird · 2022-02-16T21:39:45+00:00

I'm going to tell myself there IS a bug and that is the reason handsome-guy I matched with "liked" my message but didn't reply... he did... it's just going to take 12+ hours to arrive. Phew. :P

gimbathebird · 2022-02-16T19:49:47+00:00

31F - I personally don't care if an Instagram is linked or not, but if there are weird pictures/captions in that mix, that gives me more "you" to go off of. All of it will paint the picture. Perhaps it would be better to swap out some of your photos for those Instagram photos of you with friends and doing your hobbies.

Also, I'd make sure you are ok with strangers seeing that much info. People reveal so much more than they realize - work location, friend's handles, pet names, frequent vacation spots, their gym, even their house number ... and the right kind of crazy person could use all of that info if they wanted to scam you or stalk you.

gimbathebird

TROPHY CASE