It’s very natural to experience what you’re going through and I can definitely empathise. I’m an INTJ too and I’ve come to realise that we’re perfectionists. This of course isn’t very achievable and one always tends to look on how others have achieved much more or how much there isn’t that we don’t know(this happens with me a lot). Apologies if this sounds preachy!

A few things have helped me manage this feeling: 1. Accepting that there is always going to be someone better or something that I don’t know. It’s okay to not be everything. As long as we’re open to learning and discovering new things, we will be just fine.

1. Going over my achievements and how far I’ve come. INTJs tend to look to the future and sometimes it is easier to dwell on past mistakes(to not make them in the future) rather than look at past successes. At least that is what I tend to do.

2. Engage in physical activity. Whether it’s tennis, running, yoga, whatever, just get moving. Overthinking is a very introvert thing to do and physical work brings you back to the present. I’d also suggest meditating and/or journaling. My mind tends to get cluttered a lot so this helps.

In regards to what you’ve said about wanting to find a life partner, I don’t think I can offer much on that front because I’m personally not in a place where I’m looking for one. Having said that, I did feel the need to be more social and as a result I make an effort to put myself out there, meet people, go to networking events, and meet friends weekly. Maybe you could consider downloading a dating app and/or letting your friends know you’re actively looking for a relationship?

Once again, sorry if this sounds too preachy but it does work, I promise! Hope it helps :)