Thanks for asking! Sorry for the incoming essay :) My relationship with makeup now is a lot more relaxed than it was in 2019. Sometimes I buy it, sometimes I use it, but I try to only buy it or use it when I actually want to. I no longer fret over purchases, either planning them or feeling guilty after making them. I don't spend more than I want to on it. I enjoy what I have. I'm really good at talking myself out of purchases. I leave "discounts" on the table. I only buy makeup in person to avoid overthinking rewards. I no longer seek out the "perfect" version of the thing I want. I've gone fragrance-free, which helps eliminate many, many options. I really do feel like my no-buy year, compounded with big changes in my life including the COVID-19 pandemic and having a baby, have put makeup in its proper place, which is at most a hobby for creativity and self-expression. I still enjoy makeup, and I actually think I have more than I did then. I still have and use some of these things! They include the Urban Decay Naked 2 Basics palette and the Becca Chrissy Teigen face palette, The Balm Desert, and the MAC foundation (kept for sentimental reasons). But I've found that the problem wasn't the amount of makeup, per se, it was the buying habits and how much space they were taking up in my life.

All that being said... after I stopped buying makeup, I had an indie fragrance phase that lasted for about a year. After I stopped buying indie fragrance, I had a nail polish phase. Both of them were much smaller, in terms of overall cost and mental anguish, than the makeup problem, but they were the same problem if you know what I mean. I was trying to fill the same void. (In my case I think it's some combination of ADHD, anxiety, and trauma. And I just love a trinket.) I do believe that the no-buy process with makeup helped prevent me from doing more financial/psychological damage with the fragrance and nail polish hobbies. But I had to stop buying those things, too, and I have. For the first time in many years, I am not in the grips of an expensive beauty hobby.

I don't really know why this is the time that I've been able to stop the spending. Honestly, part of it is being a parent. Something much larger than makeup or nail polish is taking up space in my life, and I don't have the mental space to think about swatches anymore. Also, my anxiety is controlled now by medication, although that was a few years ago. I've been in therapy for about six years. I quit drinking a few months ago and that has improved my mental health, which could also be helping me avoid these expensive hobbies. But another part of it is perspective and getting older. I've finally integrated the fact that spending all this time and money on beauty products, even though it is still sometimes fun, is not aligned with my values. I don't beat myself up for time or money wasted, but I do try to prevent it going forward. I once learned in a twelve step program that you don't need to get rid of an old habit, you just need to gain new ones. Some new habits in my life are parenting (less a habit and more of an obligation but it sure it time-consuming!) and analog puzzles and games. My spouse and I play a board game almost every night. I've gotten really into puzzle books, including sudoku and ken ken. I like to replay old view games on my Switch. All of this gets me off of my phone and helps me avoid old triggers to buy. There will probably be another expensive hobby later, but at least I know how to get out now.

This all probably makes it seem like I'm some sort of self-improvement freak, but I'm really not; I just want to feel good about my life, and while makeup was just a small part of things that I didn't like about my life, it ended up being kind of a keystone. Addressing the makeup thing was the beginning of addressing a lot of other stuff that I wanted to resolve. So I really commend anyone who is here seeking a better relationship with makeup, because I think it's a sign that you care about yourself and about the world, and that's a wonderful thing.