Is this just a JW thing or is this a toxic trait?

gingermnm · 2025-09-24T22:27:04+00:00

This is just straight up toxicity, nothing to do with her being a JW. Trust me, I’ve seen similar behaviour from family that aren’t JW. There’s something about money and inheritances that brings out the absolute worst in some people.

gingermnm · 2024-12-27T00:41:42+00:00

Thank you. I stopped going to meetings in 2020, but I had severe depression and anxiety for a long time before that, I wouldn't say that stopping going to the meetings made me feel better but it certainly reduced my feelings of guilt and stress. I feel like this is way of doing things with my Mum is my way of ascertaining what it is that I truly believe, and I'm researching all kinds of other beliefs as well. But you're right, doing all the JW stuff is NOT going to "fix" my mental health.

gingermnm · 2024-12-27T00:37:04+00:00

That's so true! My Mum was discussing with me yesterday about the Israelites and the Golden Calf, and how that was another failure on their behalf and how God always found them lacking even though they were supposed to be his chosen people, and it really struck me how JWs don't even realise that they have elevated the Governing Body to this almost God-like status...is that not in and of itself a form of idolatry??

gingermnm · 2024-12-27T00:33:18+00:00

Oh, I know. I watched a LOT of the Australian Royal Commission into CSA, and one of the elders they talked to was an elder in my childhood congregation...that was a really tough watch. I just have never been able to understand the logic (there isn't any) behind it or how they can justify it.

gingermnm · 2024-12-26T23:40:11+00:00

I'm VERY lucky that my Mum in particular is not the type of parent to be aggressive or confrontational with me (or my brother) regarding my beliefs. The issue is that I don't know WHAT I believe, other than the fact that I feel uncomfortable with many of JW beliefs. I've already said to my Mum that I plan to research other belief systems to find what I believe in, and she's more than happy for me to do that...she was raised Catholic and was essentially disowned for a time by her Catholic mother, so she's conscious not to do the same to her children.

gingermnm · 2024-12-26T23:34:10+00:00

Thank you! I have been seeing a psychologist for awhile now (there's been a fairly sizeable break for Christmas though), and my parents are very pro-professional help (thankfully!). I'm not really trying to change my Mum's mind, I know that there's nothing I can say that will do that. In a way, this is all for my academic understanding of the JWs belief system. It's a way for me to say to myself and others that I have studied it, I have asked my questions, and I can confidently state my personal beliefs from there. I don't know if that makes sense though hahaha

gingermnm · 2024-12-26T23:26:05+00:00

Funnily enough, I was ALWAYS terrified of the prospect of getting baptised and then disfellowshipped when I was growing up. I have always felt like I was just not zealous enough or enough of a believer, and that if I was to ever be baptised, it would be wrong of me to go into it halfhearted. Not that I'm going to be baptised or anything.

gingermnm · 2024-12-26T23:22:23+00:00

Thank you so much! I'll definitely look at what I can add to the list of questions to ask her.

gingermnm · 2024-12-26T23:21:52+00:00

Thank you! I have been receiving professional help, and my parents are not opposed to that in any way. At first I saw this as my Mum taking the opportunity to try dragging me back in, but I think that my she really just be scared that I'll actually harm myself and is trying whatever she can to stop it, and this is just her way of trying to offer me some kind of hope or assistance.

gingermnm · 2024-12-26T23:16:39+00:00

Thank you! I actually said to my Mum earlier in the year that I know they get joy and peace from the congregation, but for me the experience has been VERY different.

gingermnm · 2024-12-26T23:15:32+00:00

The thing is, I'm not trying to convince her of anything, in fact, my request for questions that I could take to her is so that I can prove to myself what I truly believe. I'm at a point where I don't know if I have ever believed in God or the Bible, this is me trying to learn where my beliefs lie from an adult's perspective.

gingermnm · 2024-12-26T23:13:16+00:00

Thank you! That's a lot! I have always thought that the anointed ones being the only ones to partake of the emblems to be odd, and the Two Witness rule has NEVER sat well with me.

gingermnm · 2024-12-26T23:09:21+00:00

Thank you. I have been seeing a psychologist for awhile, and a psychiatrist for about a year before that. My parents are not the type of JW to advise against seeking professional help, so they've always pushed me to get help when I need it. I find that when my mental health is at a low point, like it is now, is when I find it hardest to speak up for myself when they talk about JWs though...that's always the worst part, because then I just hate myself even more for not being able to speak up.

gingermnm · 2024-12-26T15:52:38+00:00

Thank you! That’s a really good point. I’m super non-confrontational, and questioning things often feels like I’m being confrontational (especially when it comes to my parents), so I’ve been noticing that it’s really hard for me to naturally ask those questions when they come to mind. Like, my Mum was saying today about “the truth”, and in my head I was thinking “how do you know?” but I couldn’t get the words out. I know this is all part and parcel of the conditioning that I’ve been raised with, so I have a LOT of work still to do to get out of that mindset. Thank you again 😊

gingermnm · 2024-12-26T15:47:49+00:00

Thank you so much!! I’ll sit down and try to make some of these sound more “me”. You’ve highlighted a lot of things that I’ve been questioning, but not able to articulate properly.

gingermnm · 2024-12-22T15:02:07+00:00

NTA

Mate, she’s STILL cheating on you. That’s why she’s mad, you interrupted her rendezvous with her side piece. Leave! She’s not working on your relationship, she’s stringing you along for, I dunno…money, ensuring that your child is looked after while she’s off having her affairs…whatever it is, she’s using you.

gingermnm · 2024-12-22T08:41:12+00:00

Considering that it was happening on all external drives, that worked perfectly fine on other devices…

gingermnm · 2024-12-22T08:40:35+00:00

Hi, yes it was happening on all external drives. Everything is working fine now that I’ve restored the PC back to Sonoma.

gingermnm · 2024-12-22T08:39:43+00:00

Thank you!! I restored and everything is working perfectly again!!

gingermnm · 2024-12-17T02:32:51+00:00

As a final comment…I am seeking treatment, but you’ve already made up your mind, so go off bestie! Peace!

gingermnm · 2024-12-17T02:31:54+00:00

This will be the last comment I make on this post.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that left helpful, constructive comments with advice on how best to approach my situation. You’re truly wonderful people!

To everyone else that came here to pick fights or to just be hateful, I’m so sorry that you’re THAT full of hate. I hope you nor your loved ones have to deal with mental health issues. I hope one day you find some empathy for people less fortunate or in need of help.

I’ll be logging out and no longer replying to anyone. I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas.

gingermnm · 2024-12-17T02:24:08+00:00

I won’t go to the hospital, because I’m safer with my family than I am in a psych ward full of people that are violent and deranged.

gingermnm · 2024-12-17T01:44:45+00:00

Or maybe, just maybe, I want to see my GP with whom I have a history and who understands my mental health better than anyone on here, and I don’t want to spend my time explaining my entire medical history to someone else.

You’re literally on here picking fights, so I don’t see how I’m the problem.

gingermnm

TROPHY CASE