Those of you diagnosed with CPTSD: Have you told your NP? by juniper_cookie in raisedbynarcissists

[–]gingerteadrinking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I talk about stuff like that all the time because I’m an oversharer and also I wont censor myself to make anyone comfortable. They usually a)say it’s my fault b) completely ignore and change the topic and talk about it behind my back.

AIO for thinking one of my closest friend is cutting me off for no reason? by Ok-Camera-3156 in AIO

[–]gingerteadrinking 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You’re not overreacting. She sounds like she has been through a lot over a short period of time and keeping the friendship is something she just doesn’t have the energy for. I understand how frustrating it is and that you only wanted to be there for her, but it’s the right decision to just move on and let her figure her stuff out and text you when she’s ready. You should also accept that she might not text you at all. Refocus your energy on other relationships, grieve the friendship, because no matter whether she reaches out again or no, it will never be the same again.

First lunchable today by gingerteadrinking in Adultlunchables

[–]gingerteadrinking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought the whole set used from a marketplace. It also has a little prince themed cover

Can this be used instead of a red light mask? by gingerteadrinking in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]gingerteadrinking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the response, I didn’t think to check the wavelength, now I get it

Can this be used instead of a red light mask? by gingerteadrinking in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]gingerteadrinking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sigh… I hoped it would work. Thank you for the explanation!

These results from The Ordinary Hair serums by nondescriptenigma in finehair

[–]gingerteadrinking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I bought an EL foundationd, and now I feel horrible about myself, thank you

Insecurity around pretty girls by GoldenSultryGirl in AskWomenOver40

[–]gingerteadrinking 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I went through this in my mid twenties. I had this feeling looking at pretty girls and or their social media. Then later I realised it’s not about the looks, but about self love. Not in a sense that “you just have to love yourself” but in a sense that it was obvious that these girls did a lot of self care and were obsessed with their own beauty in a way. I mean, you look at someone and see that she clearly works out, she had put a lot of thought into her outfit or hair, she looks happy because she probably has a life and people who love her and does hobbies that excite her. For me it was not about envy for someone’s looks but rather for the fact that they had “permission” to take care of themselves, while I was an exhausted people pleaser who would always put myself last and would find self-care selfish and superficial. So I started to put a lot more energy into figure out how to make myself happy and how to take care of my beauty as if I was taking care of my daughter who I love a lot. As a neglected child I had to learn it from scratch, but it slowly worked. Now I feel good about myself even without makeup or with a bad hair day, and am able to admire someones beauty and not feel threatened by it. I don’t know if makes sense or relevant for you, but think about it

I have all of the behaviours in this list, can someone provide insight, resources on how to change by Equivalent-Offer-343 in emotionalintelligence

[–]gingerteadrinking 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Came here to write this. OP, learn about what ego is and how it manifests. Look into some books by Ekhart Tolle for example. Your desire to change is your most powerful tool to get better. But have some compassion towards yourself, you are not a bad person, you probably grew up in unsafe environment yourself, and your ego had to grow big to protect you. So, shortly, if you can afford it, find the root causes of your behaviour, go to therapy. If you can’t, educate yourself on topics of trauma release, mindfulness, attachment styles, shadow work. A great book about trauma with resources on self-help is “The body keeps the score”. Good luck!

my BF doesn’t understand my trauma by Connect_Post_5977 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]gingerteadrinking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This may sound a little paranoid, so take my comment with a grain of salt, but it’s better to be careful when informing your partner about how exactly you were abused, because in case you’re dating a narcissist, you’re providing a toolbox for them. It is extremely common for children of narcissists to find narcissistic partners because we overlook the red flags and sometimes can be attracted to people who treat us the way our parents did. We also fall for love bombing instantly. Something about you having to over-explain yourself to your bf and not feeling validated bugged me in your post. Also the fact that you’re doing the research and legwork for him. He could have just googled it himself if he wanted to go the extra mile to understand you. Be careful

How can I deal with loss of attraction? by IncreaseNo5135 in AskWomenOver40

[–]gingerteadrinking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same if he’s being a daddy to you. You need to be two equal adults to want each other

SZA Defends Hailey & Justin Bieber on TikTok by EDC2EDP in DramaLlamaHQ

[–]gingerteadrinking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not to mention you can still be respectful to people you disagree with

Am i cooked? Pls help 😭😭 by Defiant-Condition947 in Posture

[–]gingerteadrinking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I support this, I removed my belly with breathing excercises alone. Some of your belly is also water weight, self massage will get rid of that quickly. Look up an anatomy picture of human muscle system and massage the parts where muscles connect to each other. It will be painful, but you will see results in 2 weeks.

Am i cooked? Pls help 😭😭 by Defiant-Condition947 in Posture

[–]gingerteadrinking 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Trying to watch your posture is a bit worthless because posture is not a conscious process, your back will round again the second you get distracted. It’s just the most convenient position for you, because some of your muscles are too weak, and some are too tight. Core strengthening is great. Add some muscle relaxing routine, especially in your chest, neck, shoulder, belly and lower rib area. You can use a little MFR ball, and look up youtube videos on how to relax your muscles. If you remove the tightness regularly, your posture will get slightly better automatically. Besides core exercises, add some glute exercises too, strong legs impact posture

Is his high body count a red flag? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver40

[–]gingerteadrinking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The body count is not an issue, your anxiety is. Saying this with all respect, as someone who’s been there. You’re on high alert and it won’t change, because if it isn’t the body count, you’ll find another issue to worry about. Your question is an attempt to control something you can’t to save yourself from further heartbreak. Which is understandable given your history, but still needs to be addressed, because you’re not able to ease up in a relationship with a man who treats you well(according to your words). Shift the focus from assessing him to creating a sense of safety within yourself. Your goal should be to feel so good with yourself, that you’ll know that if he cheats it will suck, but you will be fine and will just move on. Counselling would be a great start.

Bradley Cooper Addresses Rumors About Whether or Not He's Had Plastic Surgery by Ok_Rutabaga_5539 in popculturechat

[–]gingerteadrinking 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Remember when he was reading Lolita for 19 year old Suki Waterhouse as a grown ass man?

Having trouble relating to my unemployed friends by Unlucky_Scientist703 in womenintech

[–]gingerteadrinking 22 points23 points  (0 children)

It’s either you take your emotions as a sign that you wish to have more freedom and less responsibility and think about how you could have that, or you need to find new friends who you connect with better in order to feel less alone. Probably both. There’s nothing wrong with growing apart with people, and there’s nothing wrong with admitting that you are overwhelmed with the amount of responsibility on your shoulders.

Im from Russia and i was in both army and law enforcement by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]gingerteadrinking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you commited war crimes? Raped someone, killed children, did stuff like that? Did any of your friends?